Posts Tagged ‘Philly sucks’

Why you would do this to a teammate is beyond me but it actually happened on Wednesday as the Sixers beat the Cavaliers. Philly was one of the NBA’s biggest surprises during the first half of the season and looked like they would win the Atlantic Division. However, they’ve come crashing back to earth and are barely staying alive in the Easter Conference playoff picture, much like somebody that’s had a chair pulled out from under them.

New Phillies closer and still douchebag Jonathan Papelbon went on the radio in Philadelphia today to talk about the transition to his new team from the Red Sox. Papelbon described Philly fans by saying they “tend to know the game a little better” although Boston was “a bit more hysterical.” Talk about a low blow for Boston. Saying that Philly is smarter than you is like telling a chick Snooki is cuter than her.

Really, though, are Philly and Boston fans really that much different? The Phanactics are a bunch of degenerates, and the Beaneaters are a bunch of toolish frontrunners. It’s the equivalent of picking the smartest kid in the Special Olympics or Matthew McConaughey’s best movie.

My favorite subplot in all of this is yet another former Red Sox taking a shit on the team after leaving. Wasn’t Pap Smear supposed to be the ultimate Red Sox? Brash, confident, asshole. Then, the Sox make an underwhelming contract offer and he can’t wait to spew venom. What a class act. He’s going to be a perfect fit in Philadelphia.

However, it’s becoming more and more clear that nobody likes playing in Boston. It’s going to take a lot more than throwing money around, banning beer, or bringing in a clown as manager to fix the problem. In baseball, chemistry shouldn’t matter but it does. Say what you want about Joe Girardi’s antics from the motivational quotes to the team improv outing but at least he’s working to get his players to like each other. That goes a long way during the dog days and is a hell of a lot better than fried chicken.


The Winter Classic was a success, referee controversy aside, as the spectacle was a sight to see for all hockey fans. However after the game, while going for celebratory cheesesteaks, a pair of Rangers fan buddies got into a conflict with a pack of Flyers fans. As a victorious visitor in enemy territory, you have to expect that you’re going to take a little shit. Apparently, the locals got a homeless guy who was washing windows to spray a little something on the Blueshirters. They obviously didn’t take well to it and that’s when things escalated. It was a Flyers fan who threw the first punch.

I’m all for shit-talking. When somebody wears rival colors in New York, I’m going to say something. But if it’s right after a loss, you take your medicine and keep your mouth shut. There’s no shit-talking after a loss. And yes, there are laws in America, even in Philadelphia. You can’t put your hands on somebody. OK, maybe you had a couple drinks and the Rangers fan said something about your mama. Fine. Once you and your posse get the guy, you can’t keep hitting him. That’s a coward’s move but I’m not surprised it happened in Philly. Then, it turns out that one of the Rangers fans is an off-duty cop and Iraq vet. He’s in the hospital.

Philly fans, babies, you can call yourself passionate all you want but you can’t fool me. You’re classless scumbags. Every time it seems like you bottom out, you sink even further. Booing Santa Claus. Vomiting on a kid. Booing Michael Irvin with a serious neck injury. Whoring yourself for World Series tickets. Booing Snooki. NOBODY BOOS SNOOKI. You can take your fourth-grade education and Rocky Balboa and shove it up your ass. The problem is you guys seem to enjoy causing trouble. You relish being the bad boy. In New York, we know what’s up. You can have your reputation, we’ll take the W’s. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.