It’s getting to the point in the season where it’s easier to figure things out. It’s like when you start college. At first, you don’t even know where the dining hall is. Next thing you know, you’re fingering a drunk sorority chick at a bar in Alphabet City. As such, our picks have been improving. And yes, the Chiefs are the drunk sorority chick. We all went over .500 last week, with Rory backing up his 9-win prediction by nailing 11 picks to set the pace for WEEK 2. The success may have gone to his head, however, as he has guaranteed to win the overall title, despite not being a football fan. I guess a kid’s gotta do something during the NBA lockout. Onto the picks:
49ERS AT BENGALS (-2.5)
Stone: 49ers
I picked the Niners to win the West. If they’re going to, this is a game they need to win.
Rodave: Bengals
Rory: 49ers
DP Animal: Bengals
Phanatic: 49ers
PATRIOTS (-8.5) AT BILLS
Stone: Bills
I’m officially on the Bills’ bandwagon, which is great because…
Rodave: Patriots
Rory: Bills
I went back and forth on this. I think this game will be close in the “Cam Newton cheap touchdown to cover the spread against Green Bay last week” sense.
DP Animal: Bills
Figure the Pats will win, but I like the Bills to cover at home. Biggest game in Buffalo in a few years!
Phanatic: Patriots
Sorry bills fans, they’re not for real and they’re not meant to go 3-0.
TEXANS AT SAINTS (-3.5)
Stone: Saints
It’s going to be close but I like the home team.
Rodave: Saints
Rory: Saints
DP Animal: Saints
Phanatic: Saints
DOLPHINS AT BROWNS (-2.5)
Stone: Dolphins
Can we contract some teams here?
Rodave: Browns
Rory: Dolphins
I just don’t like Ohio this week. And, ever.
DP Animal: Browns
In a matchup of mediocre vs. bad, I’ll take the mediocre home team.
Phanatic: Dolphins
BRONCOS AT TITANS (-6.5)
Stone: Broncos
Rodave: Titans
Rory: Broncos
Still unsure about what to think of the Titans. Or the Broncos. Or Obama’s job plan.
DP Animal: Titans
Denver is a mess right now, and Tennessee is quietly playing very well.
Phanatic: Broncos
LIONS (-3.5) AT VIKINGS
Stone: Lions
They’re for real.
Rodave: Vikings
Rory: Lions
This Donovan McNabb situation is playing out eerily similar to the Brett Favre situation. I’m expecting penis shots on Deadspin any day now.
DP Animal: Lions
Phanatic: Lions
JAGUARS AT PANTHERS (-3.5)
Stone: Jaguars
Will Cam Newton ever come down to earth?
Rodave: Panthers
Rory: Panthers
DP Animal: Panthers
Phanatic: Panthers
Ugh. Is it just me or are there a lot of terrible games this week?
GIANTS AT DREAM TEAM (-7.5)
Stone: Giants
Bow wow.
Rodave: Dream Team
Rory: Dream Team
The Giants didn’t invent winning ugly, or perfect winning ugly, but last week they might have submitted winning ugly for the approval of the Midnight Society.
DP Animal: Dream Team
Since Vick will play, I expect the Eagles to roll.
Phanatic: Giants
These teams always play on each other’s level when they meet. Gonna be a close one.
CHIEFS AT CHARGERS (-14.5)
Stone: Chiefs
Rodave: Chargers
Rory: Chargers
Or -114.5. Doesn’t matter at this point with the Chiefs.
DP Animal: Chargers
Don’t love laying more than 2 TDs, but the Chiefs look utterly finished.
Phanatic: Chargers
JETS (-2.5) AT RAIDERS
Stone: Raiders
Somebody might be a little overconfident after last week.
Rodave: Jets
Rory: Jets
DP Animal: Jets
The Raiders are feisty, but the Jets are really good. That should be enough.
Phanatic: Jets
RAVENS (-3.5) AT RAMS
Stone: Ravens
The Ravens seem to fluctuate as much as Oprah’s weight.
Rodave: Ravens
Rory: Ravens
DP Animal: Ravens
Bounceback game for Baltimore…playing the NFC West sure is nice.
Phanatic: Ravens
FALCONS AT BUCCANEERS (-1.5)
Stone: Falcons
Still not convinced about the Bucs.
Rodave: Falcons
Rory: Falcons
DP Animal: Falcons
The comeback in Minnesota might have saved the season for Tampa Bay, but I’m not sure they have enough to get past a very good Atlanta team.
Phanatic: Falcons
CARDINALS (-3.5) AT SEAHAWKS
Stone: Seahawks
Rodave: Cardinals
Rory: Cardinals
DP Animal: Seahawks
This line makes no sense to me. Yes, the Seahawks are 0-2 and looked terrible last week. But they were playing at Pittsburgh. They’re a vastly better team at home, and the Cardinals have holes up and down their roster.
Phanatic: Seahawks
A barnburner for all 13 people that will tune in.
PACKERS (-3.5) AT BEARS
Stone: Packers
Can’t wait to see Jay Cutler scowling on the sidelines.
Rodave: Packers
Rory: Packers
DP Animal: Packers
Phanatic: Bears
STEELERS (-10.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Steelers
I hope the Colts have their rape whistles handy for this one.
Rodave: Steelers
Rory: Steelers
I kind of envy Colts fans. As a Nets fan, I’d rather lose a star to an injury than lose him for Rafer Alston’s and Tony Battie’s expiring contracts. At least they’ll get the star back at some point.
DP Animal: Steelers
Phanatic: Steelers
REDSKINS AT COWBOYS (-6.5)
Stone: Redskins
The Skins might be better off if Romo plays. A cracked rib is not a fun injury.
Rodave: Cowboys
Rory: Redskins
Go meteorite!
DP Animal: Redskins
Phanatic: Redskins
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 18-12 (Last week: 10-6)
Rory: 16-14 (11-5)
Rodave: 15-15 (9-7)
Phanatic: 14-16 (9-7)
DP Animal: 13-17 (9-7)
Rainman Suite 