I went 3-10 last week. Frankly, I don’t deserve to write anything about making picks so here’s Rory:
So, now that I’m in first place, Keith wants me to do an introduction to the picks. He said that I could write about the NBA. But you know what this really is? An invitation to jinx myself! Clearly, he’s frightened of my amazing picking skills, and wants me to write something bragging about how smart I am. But I won’t do it! I’ll just congratulate Keith for doing so well up to now. Don’t give up, Keith! I’m sure you’ll be back on top soon!
BILLS AT JETS (-8.5)
Stone: Bills
I still think the Jets will win but this is a typical game in which they’d struggle.
Slumdeezy: Jets
Rory: Jets
DP Animal: Jets
Phanatic: Jets
I swore I was done picking the Bills.
BROWNS AT BENGALS (-7.5)
Stone: Bengals
The Browns are abysmal.
Slumdeezy: Bengals
Rory: Bengals
DP Animal: Bengals
Phanatic: Browns
TEXANS (-3.5) AT JAGUARS
Stone: Texans
Unless Matt Leinart was out partying all night.
Slumdeezy: Texans
Rory: Texans
DP Animal: Texans
Phanatic: Texans
PANTHERS (-2.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Panthers
I haven’t seen a tank like this since Tiananmen Square.
Slumdeezy: Colts
Rory: Panthers
DP Animal: Panthers
Phanatic: Panthers
BUCCANEERS AT TITANS (-3.5)
Stone: Titans
I can’t tell with either of these teams.
Slumdeezy: Titans
Rory: Buccaneers
DP Animal: Titans
Phanatic: Buccaneers
VIKINGS AT FALCONS (-9.5)
Stone: Falcons
RIP My fantasy team. Thanks for getting injured, Adrian.
Slumdeezy: Falcons
Rory: Falcons
DP Animal: Vikings
Phanatic: Falcons
BEARS AT RAIDERS (-3.5)
Stone: Raiders
Carson Palmer is starting to get the hang of it.
Slumdeezy: Raiders
Rory: Bears
DP Animal: Bears
Phanatic: Raiders
REDSKINS AT SEAHAWKS (-3.5)
Stone: Redskins
Take the points.
Slumdeezy: Redskins
Rory: Seahawks
DP Animal: Seahawks
Phanatic: Seahawks
PATRIOTS (-4.5) AT DREAM TEAM
Stone: Patriots
I hope DeSean Jackson gets his face bashed in.
Slumdeezy: Patriots
Rory: Patriots
DP Animal: Patriots
Phanatic: Dream Team
I have to!
BRONCOS AT CHARGERS (-6.5)
Stone: Broncos
I hear the Broncos have a fine young quarterback.
Slumdeezy: Chargers
Rory: Broncos
DP Animal: Chargers
Phanatic: Chargers
Home-field advantage.
STEELERS (-10.5) AT CHIEFS
Stone: Steelers
Who knows which Chiefs team will show up?
Slumdeezy: Steelers
Rory: Chiefs
DP Animal: Steelers
Phanatic: Steelers
GIANTS AT SAINTS (-6.5)
Stone: Giants
Always take the Giants with their backs against the wall.
Slumdeezy: Giants
Rory: Saints
DP Animal: Saints
Phanatic: Saints
*The Cardinals-Rams game had no line, presumably because these teams are so bad or injuries or something.
CURRENT RECORDS
Rory: 89-69 (Thanksgiving: 1-2)
Stone: 87-71 (2-1)
Slumdeezy: 86-72 (2-1)
DP Animal: 79-79 (3-0)
Phanatic: 76-82 (1-2)
Rainman Suite 