In what will surely be a classy affair, Red Sox third baseman Kevin “The Chin” Youkilis will be marrying Tom Brady’s sister, Julie (who has an impressive chin herself), after the two were recently engaged. This will be Youk’s second wedding, although his first one didn’t count because he didn’t file the proper paperwork. I wonder if he returned the presents? That time it was to one of Ben Affleck’s ex-girlfriends but the happy couple didn’t last. Apparently, Boston is more incestual than a freshman dorm. Julie Brady has never been married but she has a five-year-old daughter. Somewhere, Derek Jeter is laughing.
So come one and come all to Boston’s Wedding of the Century. It might not be legally recognized but I hear Tom Brady’s bastard niece is adorable. The members of the bridal party will all be wearing brand-new pink Red Sox caps, and no, they won’t be booing Tom Brady for that pass to Welker. They’ll be shouting, “Youuuuuuuuuuuk.” Can’t wait for for these two to have kids. Can you imagine the size of their chins?
Rainman Suite 