The Challenge: Battle of the Exes Power Rankings WEEK 3 – Faceplant

Posted: February 10, 2012 by Keith Stone in The Challenge, TV
Tags: , , , ,

The producers of The Challenge are obviously trying to break somebody’s face. That’s the only reason I can imagine they set up the MENTAL CONNECTION challenge. I love seeing the competitors answer trivia questions more than anybody, but when a wrong answer sends them face first into a lagoon 25 feet below, you are asking for trouble. These people don’t have many brain cells to begin with, how are sustained blows to the head going to help? If Brad was on Battle of the Exes, he would have been killed. This week, we also saw Dustin and Heather leave due to a gash Dustin sustained by slipping as he was climbing stairs by the pool. Apparently, the only thing he’s capable of climbing by the pool are Latin guys named Julio. Rankings!

Abortions

ELIMINATED-Roy Lee & Naomi (Last week: 2)
Naomi was one of the weakest competitors and it finally caught up to the fierce Roy Lee. It’s unfortunate but he’ll be back for years to come. I hate to accuse the greatest TV show of all-time of any racism, but the trivia questions were more biased than the SAT’s. How is Roy Lee supposed to know anything about Mick Jagger and Cher? Let’s get some questions about Eddie Murphy and KRS-One the next time around.

8. Tyrie & Jasmine (LW: 10)
Back in their usual last place spot, this team has officially been crowned the winner of the Shauvon Memorial “These Guys Can’t Win So Let’s Keep Them Around” Award. This was also the first week Jasmine didn’t destroy anything in the house. It’s all about progress.

7. Abram & Cara Maria (LW: 6)
Apparently, Abram and his hand tattoos are insane. Maybe it was an oversight on my part but I thought he was simply eccentric. This week, he was upset that Cara Maria doesn’t take their relationship more seriously, so he bypassed the house debauchery for antisocial sulking and a late-night jungle workout. Did I mention that he cried when Diem told him about her and CT’s history? This team might be the next one of the block. They have the chemistry of Shaq and Kobe in 2004. Abram should’ve known that he could never get in the way of a girl and her horse.

Sloppy Seconds

6. Dunbar & Paula Walnuts (LW: 8)
Despite the fact that these two geniuses improbably won the challenge, they completely butchered being the power couple. By sendingĀ  Ty and Emily to the Dome, they pissed Emily off and you DO NOT want an Amazon version of Scarlett Johansson to be be pissed off at you. This brings up a good point. It’s probably better not being the power couple. Sure, you’re safe for a day but if whatever team you send to the Dome comes back, they’re going to be after you.

5. Rachel & Aneesa (LW: 5)
T.J. loves throwing people of the show, whether you sexually assault another competitor or slip on a set of stairs. It looked like he was going to get a shot at this team after Aneesa had a particularly hard fall on her face. But she sucked it up and no doubt that means a lot in T.J.’s eyes. If there’s one thing you don’t want to do in this game, it’s make T.J. mad or answer trivia questions about him wrong.

4. Ty & Emily (LW: 7)
I can’t put this team any higher because Ty gets tired after about ten seconds of physical exertion. It must suck to be his girlfriend. Emily also broke my little heart after she didn’t know what sport Michael Jordan played during his first retirement. That’s a dealbreaker for me. Ty and Emily also got extremely lucky they went against Roy Lee and Naomi in the Dome. Making the girl complete the hard part of these competitions is a strategy that usually doesn’t pan out.

Love At First Sight

3. CT & Diem (LW: 4)
Trivia questions don’t really play to CT’s strength. That mainly involves games where he is able to hit his opponents. Diem also seems to be having trouble with her possibly reemerging feelings for CT. Part of me wants them to fall in love and have lots of little monster babies. The other part wants her to break his heart again and have him murder the entire cast and crew. Let’s see which one happens!

2. Mark & Robin (LW: 2)
This team quietly moves along in the game. They’re not the strongest but that’s almost a good thing. While all the big threats get weeded out, they go under-the-radar. Make no mistake, this group knows what they’re doing. Even when Mark was being thrown into the water, he flipped so effortlessly that he barely made a splash. In the biz, we call that veteran savvy.

1. Johnny Bananas & Camila (LW:1)
Looks like we finally found Johnny Bananas’s weakness: movie trivia. This was a much needed quiet week for these two, but they remain at the top of the heap and still exert the most power in the house. I also really dig Camila’s accent. It sounds like she’s partially deaf or something. Sexy!

Last week’s rankings

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s