Archive for the ‘Alex Rodriguez’ Category

Larry David is having a season like Wayne Gretzky in 1982 or Tom Brady in 2007 (before the Super Bowl, of course). Curb Your Enthusiasm is reaching unparalleled heights. Each episode seems like the apex but the ensuing one matches it and surpasses it. This week, you had Bill Buckner catching a baby, Larry’s bad memories from a Mr. Softee truck, black guys in glasses, and a car built like Peter North. I don’t know how he does it but this may be the funniest season of any show in TV history. That’s what happens when you move a series to the Greatest City in the World. Next week is the season finale featuring Michael J. Fox and I can’t even imagine how hilarious it’s going to be.

Bill Buckner’s appearance on Curb wasn’t the best sports cameo of the night, though. Amar’e Stoudemire, Michael Strahan, Mark Teixeira, and A-Rod were on Entourage as investors in Turtle’s new Italian restaurant. Is it possible to split an Emmy four ways?

A-Rod Being A-Rod

Posted: July 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in Alex Rodriguez, baseball, MLB

Looks like Alex Rodriguez’s newest endorsement is for coconut water. The poster says everything you need to know about him. I wonder what he’s thinking about as he’s looking wistfully in the distance. Probably banging Madonna or Kate Hudson. Yanks are gonna miss him for the next month.

The A-Rod 3-Way

Posted: July 7, 2011 by Keith Stone in Alex Rodriguez, baseball, MLB, romance, Yankees

A-Rod is unstoppable. Not only is the starting third baseman for the American League All-Stars leading the first place Yanks in batting, but he’s leading the team in hot celebrity 3-ways. Back in January, Alex Rodriguez and girlfriend Cameron Diaz were in Paris for Fashion Week. People Magazine reported that they had dinner with Tara Reid. For dessert, they all had some pie. For somebody with a rickety hip, A-Rod sure knows how to bang out the hits. Who says he’s not clutch? And who knew Cameron Diaz was such a freak hooking up with a Latin Adonis and a crack whore with big fake tits? I’d rather watch that than Bad Teacher.

Crazy Days and Nights

When Alex Rodriguez revealed that he had been using steroids, he said that his cousin Yuri Sucart had been supplying and injecting him. You would think that Cousin Yuri would be excommunicated from A-Rod’s life except for maybe Thanksgiving. Nope. Major League Baseball recently launched an investigation concerning Cousin Yuri’s sudden reappearance on the Yankees’ west coast swing. Luckily, the slugger was exonerated because Cousin Yuri is still allowed in public areas (aren’t we all?)

However, this raises an interesting question. Why is A-Rod still spending time with Cousin Yuri? Not only that but why is Cousin Yuri coming on road trips? Assuming he’s not a complete idiot and hasn’t resumed taking steroids, there is no need for Cousin Yuri to be hanging around the Yankees. Cousin Yuri tainted A-Rod’s baseball career SO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BALLPARK!!!! Go out to dinner with him. Pay for his kids to go to college. Anything else.

But please, the Yankees are finally playing well. The last thing we need is controversy or suspicion, especially with Boston and all their ugly, ignorant fans coming into town and A-Rod nearing the all-time home run record. It’s not that A-Rod is stupid, he’s just supremely unaware. Maybe it helps him hit home runs, but somebody needs to keep A-Rod from continuously being in the news for the wrong reasons.

Everyone is up in arms about this NYPD ticket-fixing investigation. Fair enough. Just because you’re buddies with a cop, doesn’t mean your speeding ticket should get “lost.” Then, Alex Rodriguez emerged as one of the celebrities named in the scandal (along with George Steinbrenner and Jay-Z) for speeding on the West Side Highway and of course landed in the headlines in every newspaper.

Despite the fact that A-Rod has seen his share of tabloid stories from Madonna to Kristin Davis, can we just let him get away with this, Daily News and Post? The dude has 600 home runs and led the Yanks to the World Series last year. Plus, he’s tagging Cameron Diaz. When he’s selling drugs to schoolchildren, make sure he’s on the front cover. If he’s not, and his biggest crime is getting a $100 fine waived because he’s a fucking megastar and shouldn’t be made to bother with such trifling matters when he’s trying to win a Title for the City, give him a break and let him concentrate on hitting home runs. A-Rod can hit me with his car going 85 and as long as he got to the Stadium on time, I’d be fine with it.

NY Daily News