Archive for the ‘Boston Bruins’ Category

It’s the end of the year so let’s look back at some of the best moments in The Suite (and give Stone a break). This was originally published on June 15 with the Stanley Cup hanging in the balance.

It’s time to finally, finally end hockey season. I’m coming to you live from the Rainman Suite with Charlie Sheen, Jenna Haze, Lanny Barby, Tiffany Taylor, Alexis Texas, and briefcase full of cocaine. OK, actually I have a belly fully full of Chinese food and a six-pack of Labatts. This game is huge. Neither team has won the Stanley Cup in nearly 40 years and Vancouver has never won it. Also, the last time they lost a Finals Game 7, there was a massive riot. As John Davidson would say, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby!” GAME 7!

8:02-We see the Stanley Cup make its grand entrance into the arena in a silver SUV. You’d think it’d be rolling in a Hummer limo or something.

8:03-Dan Patrick is hosting the pregame show because……………

8:04-Pierre McGuire interviews Patrice Bergeron who has a massive playoff beard. Yet another reason to love hockey. Playoff beards.

8:06-A Boston fan told Dan Patrick, “We didn’t lose to the British, and we’re not losing to British Columbia.” Those Bostonians are so clever.

8:11-There’s so much at stake tonight. If Boston wins, they’d have won every Championship in the past seven years. The last thing we need is those pink hat-wearing frontrunning douchebags to pull off the feat. Let the negative karma flow.

8:13-There’s an exterior shot of the arena. The streets are entirely packed. It’s only 5PM in Vancouver. It’s going to be wild tonight no matter what. Imagine leaving work and hitting that traffic. Did they even work today?

8:16-A guy in a tux sings the American national anthem. There’s a smattering of boos. Don’t boo the anthem, people.

8:17-They have a separate guy for “O Canada.” He’s a disheveled, fat man. I think he’s homeless.

8:18-My friend Naitch just showed up. He’s the only Canadian I know in New York. We are wearing identical shirts with the Canadian maple leaf on them from Bret Hart Appreciation Night at the Garden. He brought Tim Horton’s but I stopped short of hanging up a Canadian flag.

8:20-Naitch likes Pierre McGuire’s early intensity. He thinks he’s the best sideline reporter since Mike Adamle.


Well, it looks like the classy Boston Bruins are having a gay old time since they won the Stanley Cup. On Saturday, the team went to Foxwoods (for the wonder of it all) and spent over $150,000 at the Shrine nightclub. When some people get drunk, they lose their cell phones. Just ask CurlySue. When the Bruins get drunk, they lose their MVP goaltender Tim Thomas. Thomas missed the team bus the next morning as it was leaving to go to Fenway Park so the team could throw out the first pitch.

Apparently, either nobody did a head count or a neighbor’s goalie got on the bus to rifle through everybody’s luggage and was counted in his place. Hey, it happened in Home Alone. Or Thomas was having an orgy and nobody wanted to bother him. Girls go wild for the Conn Smythe Trophy. Just ask Brian Leetch. You would think somebody would wonder where the guy was that shut out the other team in Game 7 to basically win the Cup. Thomas ended up getting a ride to Fenway with one of the owners of the club. Not a good way to start the Cup defense, fellas.

NY Daily News