Archive for the ‘Stanley Cup Finals’ Category

It’s the end of the year so let’s look back at some of the best moments in The Suite (and give Stone a break). This was originally published on June 15 with the Stanley Cup hanging in the balance.

It’s time to finally, finally end hockey season. I’m coming to you live from the Rainman Suite with Charlie Sheen, Jenna Haze, Lanny Barby, Tiffany Taylor, Alexis Texas, and briefcase full of cocaine. OK, actually I have a belly fully full of Chinese food and a six-pack of Labatts. This game is huge. Neither team has won the Stanley Cup in nearly 40 years and Vancouver has never won it. Also, the last time they lost a Finals Game 7, there was a massive riot. As John Davidson would say, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby!” GAME 7!

8:02-We see the Stanley Cup make its grand entrance into the arena in a silver SUV. You’d think it’d be rolling in a Hummer limo or something.

8:03-Dan Patrick is hosting the pregame show because……………

8:04-Pierre McGuire interviews Patrice Bergeron who has a massive playoff beard. Yet another reason to love hockey. Playoff beards.

8:06-A Boston fan told Dan Patrick, “We didn’t lose to the British, and we’re not losing to British Columbia.” Those Bostonians are so clever.

8:11-There’s so much at stake tonight. If Boston wins, they’d have won every Championship in the past seven years. The last thing we need is those pink hat-wearing frontrunning douchebags to pull off the feat. Let the negative karma flow.

8:13-There’s an exterior shot of the arena. The streets are entirely packed. It’s only 5PM in Vancouver. It’s going to be wild tonight no matter what. Imagine leaving work and hitting that traffic. Did they even work today?

8:16-A guy in a tux sings the American national anthem. There’s a smattering of boos. Don’t boo the anthem, people.

8:17-They have a separate guy for “O Canada.” He’s a disheveled, fat man. I think he’s homeless.

8:18-My friend Naitch just showed up. He’s the only Canadian I know in New York. We are wearing identical shirts with the Canadian maple leaf on them from Bret Hart Appreciation Night at the Garden. He brought Tim Horton’s but I stopped short of hanging up a Canadian flag.

8:20-Naitch likes Pierre McGuire’s early intensity. He thinks he’s the best sideline reporter since Mike Adamle.

(more…)

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The Vancouver Hockey Riots of 2011!

Posted: June 16, 2011 by Keith Stone in hockey, riot, Stanley Cup Finals, Vancouver

Those Canadians love their hockey. “Take a picture of me in front of this flaming car, eh?”

It’s time to finally, finally end hockey season. I’m coming to you live from the Rainman Suite with Charlie Sheen, Jenna Haze, Lanny Barby, Tiffany Taylor, Alexis Texas, and briefcase full of cocaine. OK, actually I have a belly fully full of Chinese food and a six-pack of Labatts. This game is huge. Neither team has won the Stanley Cup in nearly 40 years and Vancouver has never won it. Also, the last time they lost a Finals Game 7, there was a massive riot. As John Davidson would say, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby!” GAME 7!

8:02-We see the Stanley Cup make its grand entrance into the arena in a silver SUV. You’d think it’d be rolling in a Hummer limo or something.

8:03-Dan Patrick is hosting the pregame show because……………

8:04-Pierre McGuire interviews Patrice Bergeron who has a massive playoff beard. Yet another reason to love hockey. Playoff beards.

8:06-A Boston fan told Dan Patrick, “We didn’t lose to the British, and we’re not losing to British Columbia.” Those Bostonians are so clever.

(more…)

Tomorrow, someone is going to raise the Stanley Cup. It’s been a wild Finals so far and every game in Vancouver has been decided by one goal. Continuing with our award-winning hockey coverage, I will be conducting the first ever Rainman Suite live running diary for Game 7. Check back at 8 Wednesday night. I promise it will be one of the best Stanley Cup Finals Game 7 live running journals you will ever read.

The Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins have each gone almost 40 years without hoisting the Stanley Cup. In Vancouver’s case, the franchise has never won it. Both teams have passionate fans and recent playoff disappointment despite regular season success, and have finally managed to get over the hump to reach the Finals. Unfortunately, only one team will walk away with the Ultimate Prize and all the tail and debauchery you can imagine while the other gets a summer of heartbreak and despair.

The Canucks rode high all season. The Presidents’ Trophy winners have the reigning MVP in Henrik Sedin and a finalist for this year’s award in his twin brother Daniel. These guys have ESP like Bill Cosby in Ghost Dad. How the Bruins defense, led by Zdeno Chara, handles them will play a large role in the outcome of the series. The Canucks also have Ryan Kesler playing at a high level and Roberto Luongo mixes brilliance with incompetence in net. It will be interesting to see how the team handles itself if things don’t go well, considering the magnitude of the games for the city of Vancouver and Canada in general.

Although the Bruins won the Northeast Division, they were overlooked as contenders until recently. Goalie Tim Thomas has played great all year and has the ability to win games by himself. If the Bruins’ power play stays dormant, he may have to. The B’s have overcome adversity all season, recovering from their collapse in last year’s playoffs and winning two Game 7’s. They will not be scared of the Canucks and the most explosive offense in hockey. That does not mean the Bruins can stop them. Tim Thomas is going to have to play like a motherfucker.

Canucks in 5