Archive for the ‘comeuppance’ Category

Queen James Is Darth Vader

Posted: June 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, comeuppance, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James

“You were the chosen one…”

It’s so simple. LeBron isn’t evil. He’s just tragic; he’s lost. Even as you’re rooting against him, you almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Both LeBron and Vader grew up without fathers and endured fairly traumatic childhoods. With unparalleled potential, each was coddled in their training and was expected to be the most powerful person in their respective field, restoring it to former glory and even greater heights. However, neither was prepared to handle the early failures that every person must endure on the way to finding themselves. You could see the signs but wanted to ignore it. Arrogance. Envy. Pride.

Then came the betrayal—Anakin leaving the Jedi and joining the Sith under the Dark Lord Darth Sidious, LeBron leaving Cleveland and joining the Heat under the Dark Lord Pat Riley. In each case, their conflicted emotions were manipulated against them. Their new Dark Lords promised them greater power and grandeur than they could ever imagine but Anakin and LeBron were not prepared for the backlash.

Surely, Padme would want Anakin to rule the galaxy and the fans would want to see a Miami dynasty. But now with their hearts and minds corrupted, their flaws were exposed and ultimately they were defeated by Europeans with flesh-colored beards.

When LeBron lost to Obi-Wan Nowitzki, it was sad. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Had he had a more confident personality or better support system, maybe this all wouldn’t have happened. If he had remained in Cleveland or even come to New York, he would have been a conquering hero.

Instead LeBron took the easy way out but nobody followed him to South Beach, where the failure burns almost as hot as Mustafar. He still has his crew in Wade, Bosh, and Riley, but little else. LeBron wanted to be a Global Icon and now he is. He represents nearly everything that is wrong with this generation: trying to win without putting in the effort, lacking confidence in yourself, and pursuing fame and glamour above all else.

In the end, we learned that Vader still had some good in him as he helped destroy Sidious and the Empire. The prophesy was correct and balance was restored to the Force. Despite the negativity surrounding LeBron, his Decision piqued interest in basketball and the ratings for the Finals were the highest in years. Not counting the impending labor issues, the NBA is in the best shape it has been since Michael Jordan was in the league. LeBron has a lot to do with it.

Every story needs a villain. In recent years as the NBA has been trying to push a squeaky clean image with dress codes and T’s the moment a player looks at a ref funny, there haven’t been too many villains. Maybe this is LeBron fulfilling his destiny to bring the NBA back to glory and relevance. All I know is I can’t wait for next season.

>Intermission Report

Posted: April 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in comeuppance, site business


I’m pretty burned out after being swept by the Celtics so I’m taking the week off. I know that many of you will be unable to survive without finding out who the Jabroni of the Week is, but you’re going to have to make due. In the meantime, I’m going to work on redesigning The Suite a bit. Maybe move some sofas around to make room for a jacuzzi.
The Celitcs series was like a dream that turned into a nightmare. To top it off, we still didn’t win a playoff game. After 10 years, it’s unacceptable. I’m still optimistic. We have two of the top 15 players in the league and they’ll have the whole summer to get in sync and add complementary pieces. Usually after one of my teams gets booted from the playoffs, I don’t want to think about it. In this case, it’s different. I wish they were playing right now. I can’t wait until October (or longer). The first time I saw the Knicks lose a playoff series, it was back in 1991 against the Bulls. I still remember my mom trying to explain that the Knicks weren’t playing games anymore. I was sad then and I’m sad now. There are still important questions to answer. On the top of the list is whether Donnie Walsh is coming back. He may have his differences with ownership, but he’s the man for the job and he needs to finish it. It would be ridiculous not to bring him back. He’s intelligent, patient, and resourceful—great qualities for somebody who’s putting together a basketball team. Yeah, he’s not perfect but nobody is. After that, it has to be decided who’s going to coach the team. Coach D didn’t do himself any favors by getting swept.
I’ll be back next week. Stop complaining. If you need to kill some time, go on Redtube.

A Girl Knows More About Sports Than Me

Posted: April 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in chicks, comeuppance, March Madness

As part of losing my March Madness Battle of the Sexes with CurlySue, I was forced to stand in the middle of Times Square with a sign that says, “A girl knows more about sports than me.” In a related story, join me in The Suite for extended NBA and NHL Playoff coverage later this week. This was one of the low points of my life. Here are the pictures. If you love Asian tourists, this is right up your alley.

>I Told Ya So

Posted: March 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in comeuppance, March Madness


A few weeks ago, when everyone was complaining about the First Four and how it made figuring out the brackets so difficult, I wrote that people needed to shut up because we were getting two more quality teams and games in the tournament. Well, I hate to do this but it needs to be said. I TOLD YA SO!
Now, tiny Virginia Commonwealth is in the Final Four and things are a whole lot more interesting. I mean, their coach’s name is Shaka. Sure beats having boring Kansas still in the tourney. If VCU dances past midnight, how long is it until Disney makes a movie about them? I wonder if Terrence Howard is available to play Coach Shaka?