Archive for the ‘NBA Finals’ Category

After winning his first Championship in 1991, an emotional Michael Jordan is interviewed by Bob Costas. Jordan’s wife, Juanita, probably should have taken her hat off. Awkward. Costas plays it like a pro, though.

Queen James Is Darth Vader

Posted: June 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, comeuppance, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James

“You were the chosen one…”

It’s so simple. LeBron isn’t evil. He’s just tragic; he’s lost. Even as you’re rooting against him, you almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Both LeBron and Vader grew up without fathers and endured fairly traumatic childhoods. With unparalleled potential, each was coddled in their training and was expected to be the most powerful person in their respective field, restoring it to former glory and even greater heights. However, neither was prepared to handle the early failures that every person must endure on the way to finding themselves. You could see the signs but wanted to ignore it. Arrogance. Envy. Pride.

Then came the betrayal—Anakin leaving the Jedi and joining the Sith under the Dark Lord Darth Sidious, LeBron leaving Cleveland and joining the Heat under the Dark Lord Pat Riley. In each case, their conflicted emotions were manipulated against them. Their new Dark Lords promised them greater power and grandeur than they could ever imagine but Anakin and LeBron were not prepared for the backlash.

Surely, Padme would want Anakin to rule the galaxy and the fans would want to see a Miami dynasty. But now with their hearts and minds corrupted, their flaws were exposed and ultimately they were defeated by Europeans with flesh-colored beards.

When LeBron lost to Obi-Wan Nowitzki, it was sad. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Had he had a more confident personality or better support system, maybe this all wouldn’t have happened. If he had remained in Cleveland or even come to New York, he would have been a conquering hero.

Instead LeBron took the easy way out but nobody followed him to South Beach, where the failure burns almost as hot as Mustafar. He still has his crew in Wade, Bosh, and Riley, but little else. LeBron wanted to be a Global Icon and now he is. He represents nearly everything that is wrong with this generation: trying to win without putting in the effort, lacking confidence in yourself, and pursuing fame and glamour above all else.

In the end, we learned that Vader still had some good in him as he helped destroy Sidious and the Empire. The prophesy was correct and balance was restored to the Force. Despite the negativity surrounding LeBron, his Decision piqued interest in basketball and the ratings for the Finals were the highest in years. Not counting the impending labor issues, the NBA is in the best shape it has been since Michael Jordan was in the league. LeBron has a lot to do with it.

Every story needs a villain. In recent years as the NBA has been trying to push a squeaky clean image with dress codes and T’s the moment a player looks at a ref funny, there haven’t been too many villains. Maybe this is LeBron fulfilling his destiny to bring the NBA back to glory and relevance. All I know is I can’t wait for next season.

I thought Mark Cuban letting the original Mavericks owner accept the Larry O’Brien Trophy was a nice touch. Still, it’s not my favorite Trophy presentation ever. That would be Joey Buss’s 2009 Lakers speech in which he seemingly forgets the English language so badly that his own brother is laughing at him. I wish my dad owned a basketball team.

And of course, no discussion of Championship celebrations would ever be complete without the man, the myth, the dancing machine: Mark Madsen.

And just for fun, here’s Zaza Pachulia celebrating a Game 6 First Round victory in 2008. Nothing easy! NOTHING EASY! How is it that the Hawks have such tepid fan support?

And Now A Word From Chris Bosh

Posted: June 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Chris Bosh, NBA, NBA Finals

I like Chris because he’s the sensitive Heatle.

Danke Schoen

Posted: June 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Dallas Mavericks, NBA Finals

Dirk Nowitzki led the Dallas Mavericks to the NBA Title last night. Obviously this was a big series considering who their opponent was, but the Mavs deserve all the credit in the world. They are Champions in every sense of the word. Even in victory, they were humble and seemed content to celebrate with each other and their fans. Nowitzki now goes into the books as one of the all-time greats and the 2011 Finals as one of the best in a while. A wise young man once wrote, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from 21 years of watching basketball, it’s that a good team can overcome any obstacle.” I was right. Congrats to the Mavs and Germany. Now take it away, Hasselhoff!

Queen James Is Pierce Brosnan

Posted: June 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James

HE’S CHOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE”S CHOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody get Mrs. Doubtfire!

Now the big rumor is that Rashard Lewis fucked LeBron’s girl down in So Beach. Whether or not it’s true isn’t the real problem. It’s that LeBron has no respect around the league so people can say whatever they want about him and then he plays like a bitch. First his mom, now this. If this was me and people were questioning my heart and making stories, I’d go out, score 50, and throw some elbows. I have the feeling he won’t.


LeBron James scored eight points last night. None in the fourth quarter. Did I mention that he’s the best basketball player in the world and it was Game 4 of the NBA Finals? IT WAS THE BIGGEST GAME OF HIS LIFE! HE TOOK ONE SHOT IN THE FOURTH QUARTER! Mike Miller touched the ball more in crunch time. How does this happen? How is Spoelstra or Riley not running on the court and forcing him to shoot? LeBron can take the ball to the hoop virtually at will. If he doesn’t make it, he’ll at least most likely get fouled.

I understand that sometimes it’s better to have D-Wade with the rock, but he’s deferring to Mario Chalmers and Mike Bibby. IT’S GAME 4 OF THE NBA FINALS! IF YOU WANT THE FUCKING TITLE, YOU GO OUT THERE AND WIN IT! NOT PASS OFF TO UDONIS HASLEM! It boggles the mind. LeBron has had problems like this before but you’d figure he would get over them on such a big stage and after beating Boston and Chicago. It’s obviously the reason he left Cleveland; he didn’t want to be “the man.” If he came to New York, the Garden crowd would have surely helped him overcome his bitchness. He must have the smallest cojones in South Beach.

Heat Nation Responds To Celebration-Gate

Posted: June 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals

Dat Roro Kid couldn’t take Rory’s comments about Game 2 lying down. Here’s what he had to say. He writes erotic fan fiction about LeBron James at Miami Heat Nation.

Some people may reference a concept called ‘taunting’ in the Game 2 loss to the Mavericks.  That’s a fairly hilarious notion.  It’s mythical.  It’s like a rainbow-colored unicorn flying across your bedroom ceiling in the middle of the night.  REAL taunting occurs in pre-game introductions.  Like, in say, Game 1 when we blasted Cee-Lo’s ‘Fuck You’ during the Mavs pre-game lineup intros.  And sure enough…one by one…those eventual losers strut out summarily to assembly line high-fives and deliciously-chagrined mugs.  As a Heat fan, it was LAUGHABLE.  They just sat there and ate it.  We were telling them ‘FUCK YOU’ right in their faces and they took it!!!  THAT WAS GAME ONE!  Even better was our own team coming out to “Fuck Them Otha N*ggas”.  And we did.  WE FUCKED THEM VERY HARD.

So if you want to assign Game 2’s win to some kind of revenge for ‘taunting’ (‘taunting’ being a celebratory BIG FUCKING SHOT WHEN WE’RE UP BY 15 WITH 6 MIN TO GO AND D-WADE HOLDING HIS ARM UP AFTER A HUGE CORNER 3), then please go ahead.  As Miami Heat Nation, we don’t really mind.  We’ve been dogged all year for any single thing we do and it is only motivation you give us to kick the Mavs’ ass in the Finals and dominate the NBA for the next 5 years.  If maybe you weren’t some wet-behind-the-ears child, you might know that what actually occurred on the court was a series of defensive breakdowns.  The Miami Heat are first and foremost a defensively stout team and without said defense there is no way to get the transition points that allow them to dominate consistently when they are hitting on all cylinders.  There was a lack of focus there but I ASSURE YOU that whatever ‘taunting’ has been addressed on this here site was not the case.  Why didn’t they come out GUNS BLAZIN’ when we basically told them FUCK YOU in Game 1?  Isn’t that the worst taunt imaginable?? Certainly more than D-Wade holding up his arm after a huge 3 (which he is typically poor at hitting if you actually knew anything about the Heat at all).

But, I digress, I’m happy for “celebration-gate”.  It’s only more motivation to dominate the fuck out of the NBA for years and years to come.  Come along for the ride or shut the fuck up on the sidelines.

Rory had some thoughts about last night’s epic comeback by the Mavericks. As always, check out his musings about the New Jersey Nets, Russian politics, and Bruce Springsteen at Slippery When Nets.Miami-Dallas Game 2 was a game for the ages.  I showed up late for the game, arriving at a bar on MacDougal Street roughly halfway through the third quarter.  The game was close until I ordered a beer – which coincided with an incredible Miami scoring streak.  I figured this drink would be my last, as it didn’t seem worthwhile to stick around as the game was becoming a blowout.

Then, this happened:

And the rest is history.  You all know the story by now: the Mavs went on a run and incredibly won the game.  And the other story you all know now: that play above DID NOT MEAN ANYTHING.  At least, that’s what the general sports media wants to tell you.  I have read more articles based on the premise “Everyone is going to say Wade’s taunting changed the game, but that’s not what happened!” than I have articles that actually said “Wade’s taunting changed the game.”

There are many excuses people use to downplay Wade’s taunt, but the typical argument usually goes, “Were the Mavs not trying their hardest to win before the taunt?”  Well, have you ever been taunted before?  It drives you crazy, and kicks up some weird primal hormones in your brain.  You become less rational and more controlled by your base instincts.  The rational Mavs were probably thinking, “Tonight’s not our night.  It is a best of 7 series after all, so even if we blow this we are going home and can still turn it around.”  They were stuck on 73 points for about four minutes of gametime in the fourth quarter.  Then the Wade taunt erased all common sense, and the Mavs played like raging bulls.

If taunting did not matter, we would be taunting all the time.  Taunting is a fun activity – who doesn’t love putting others down to hide your insecurity?  On this site alone, both Keith and I wrote taunting articles towards each other regarding the Knicks and the Nets.  But, taunt the wrong person, and you will pay.  And that’s what happened last night.