Archive for the ‘NBA Finals’ Category

After winning his first Championship in 1991, an emotional Michael Jordan is interviewed by Bob Costas. Jordan’s wife, Juanita, probably should have taken her hat off. Awkward. Costas plays it like a pro, though.


Queen James Is Darth Vader

Posted: June 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, comeuppance, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James

“You were the chosen one…”

It’s so simple. LeBron isn’t evil. He’s just tragic; he’s lost. Even as you’re rooting against him, you almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Both LeBron and Vader grew up without fathers and endured fairly traumatic childhoods. With unparalleled potential, each was coddled in their training and was expected to be the most powerful person in their respective field, restoring it to former glory and even greater heights. However, neither was prepared to handle the early failures that every person must endure on the way to finding themselves. You could see the signs but wanted to ignore it. Arrogance. Envy. Pride.

Then came the betrayal—Anakin leaving the Jedi and joining the Sith under the Dark Lord Darth Sidious, LeBron leaving Cleveland and joining the Heat under the Dark Lord Pat Riley. In each case, their conflicted emotions were manipulated against them. Their new Dark Lords promised them greater power and grandeur than they could ever imagine but Anakin and LeBron were not prepared for the backlash.

Surely, Padme would want Anakin to rule the galaxy and the fans would want to see a Miami dynasty. But now with their hearts and minds corrupted, their flaws were exposed and ultimately they were defeated by Europeans with flesh-colored beards.

When LeBron lost to Obi-Wan Nowitzki, it was sad. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Had he had a more confident personality or better support system, maybe this all wouldn’t have happened. If he had remained in Cleveland or even come to New York, he would have been a conquering hero.

Instead LeBron took the easy way out but nobody followed him to South Beach, where the failure burns almost as hot as Mustafar. He still has his crew in Wade, Bosh, and Riley, but little else. LeBron wanted to be a Global Icon and now he is. He represents nearly everything that is wrong with this generation: trying to win without putting in the effort, lacking confidence in yourself, and pursuing fame and glamour above all else.

In the end, we learned that Vader still had some good in him as he helped destroy Sidious and the Empire. The prophesy was correct and balance was restored to the Force. Despite the negativity surrounding LeBron, his Decision piqued interest in basketball and the ratings for the Finals were the highest in years. Not counting the impending labor issues, the NBA is in the best shape it has been since Michael Jordan was in the league. LeBron has a lot to do with it.

Every story needs a villain. In recent years as the NBA has been trying to push a squeaky clean image with dress codes and T’s the moment a player looks at a ref funny, there haven’t been too many villains. Maybe this is LeBron fulfilling his destiny to bring the NBA back to glory and relevance. All I know is I can’t wait for next season.

I thought Mark Cuban letting the original Mavericks owner accept the Larry O’Brien Trophy was a nice touch. Still, it’s not my favorite Trophy presentation ever. That would be Joey Buss’s 2009 Lakers speech in which he seemingly forgets the English language so badly that his own brother is laughing at him. I wish my dad owned a basketball team.

And of course, no discussion of Championship celebrations would ever be complete without the man, the myth, the dancing machine: Mark Madsen.

And just for fun, here’s Zaza Pachulia celebrating a Game 6 First Round victory in 2008. Nothing easy! NOTHING EASY! How is it that the Hawks have such tepid fan support?

And Now A Word From Chris Bosh

Posted: June 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Chris Bosh, NBA, NBA Finals

I like Chris because he’s the sensitive Heatle.

Danke Schoen

Posted: June 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Dallas Mavericks, NBA Finals

Dirk Nowitzki led the Dallas Mavericks to the NBA Title last night. Obviously this was a big series considering who their opponent was, but the Mavs deserve all the credit in the world. They are Champions in every sense of the word. Even in victory, they were humble and seemed content to celebrate with each other and their fans. Nowitzki now goes into the books as one of the all-time greats and the 2011 Finals as one of the best in a while. A wise young man once wrote, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from 21 years of watching basketball, it’s that a good team can overcome any obstacle.” I was right. Congrats to the Mavs and Germany. Now take it away, Hasselhoff!

Queen James Is Pierce Brosnan

Posted: June 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James

HE’S CHOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE”S CHOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody get Mrs. Doubtfire!

Now the big rumor is that Rashard Lewis fucked LeBron’s girl down in So Beach. Whether or not it’s true isn’t the real problem. It’s that LeBron has no respect around the league so people can say whatever they want about him and then he plays like a bitch. First his mom, now this. If this was me and people were questioning my heart and making stories, I’d go out, score 50, and throw some elbows. I have the feeling he won’t.