Archive for the ‘NBA lockout’ Category

Trivia Time: NBA Lockout Edition

Posted: August 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA lockout, trivia

The NBA lockout sucks. Right now, we’d be watching the rookies do their thing at Summer League, but instead, it’s all labor jargon that nobody understands and grainy footage of Kevin Durant and LeBron James putting up 84 points at games against scrubs in Rucker Park and Singapore. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and I’ll sign you to the mid-level exception. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

Who is the president of the NBA Players Union? (and a hint: it is not Metta World Peace)

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World Peace Coming To England?

Posted: August 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Metta World Peace, NBA, NBA lockout

Metta World Peace, that is. World Peace is considering playing with the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League if the NBA lockout stretches into the regular season. According to the ULEB, the ruling body of European basketball, the BBL is ranked dead last amongst European leagues in terms of game play and media coverage amongst other important things. What better place to hone your skills and fitness than the worst basketball league in Europe?

There’s so much violence going on in England, it’s only fitting that the protagonist in the most public display of violence of the past 10 years would be heading there. World Peace is so crazy, he could probably stop the riots all by himself, and Britain will attain World Peace in more ways than one.

However since the Jets don’t have any money, they are offering World Peace a piece of ownership and will try to help his film and music career. They are currently trying to find him work on a British soap opera, where he will immediately be the most ridiculous black guy on TV in England since Ali G. And really, after hearing World Peace’s Michael Jackson tribute song who wouldn’t want a piece of his music career?

ESPN

Lockout Professionals

Posted: July 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA lockout, NFL lockout

“Let me help you, frail old man.”

If you have $9 million (and 99¢) lying around, you can hire Blake Griffin, Kevin “Color Me Badd” Love, Tyson Chandler, Adrian Peterson, or Metta World Peace (who is slowly turning into the the NBA’s version of Gary Busey) to come over and help with some chores. I heard they also have a special deal where you can get LeBron James for three quarters of the price. This video is hilarious. I still wish there was football and basketball but this isn’t too shabby. Football Cops better watch its back. Maybe I can get Michael Vick to walk my dog?

The NBA officially locked out its players, joining the NFL in a labor stoppage. However unlike the NFL, several NBA teams are in serious financial trouble. Whereas the NFL is trying to figure out how to split the pie, the NBA barely has one. This isn’t entirely Commissioner Stern’s fault. In fact, it’s not really his fault as much as the owners who gave too much to the players during the last two labor agreements and then continued to spend their money in a stupid way. Who wants to give Gilbert Arenas $100 mil? Did I mention he has one knee?

At the same time, Stern finds himself in the middle of everything. He works for the owners but he also has to work with the players. The players say they will not budge on giving up guaranteed contracts. It’s their right but it’s their responsibility to show up ready to play. Shaq looked like a hot air balloon out there this season.

Really, everyone is to blame for the mess. And it is a huge mess. Small-market teams can’t afford to compete with New York, LA, and Chicago unless they want to lose tens of millions of dollars a year. And yet, the NBA doesn’t have a system in place to help the Milwaukees of the world keep up with a team like Miami that can print money. The players will argue that they shouldn’t give up their share of the cash when most teams lose money at the expense of the others. Why shouldn’t the owners help each other before asking the players to sacrifice their incomes?

All of this falls at the feet of Commissioner Stern. He has to worry about the owners, the players, and the fans. He has to keep everyone happy while they get hit in the wallet. Never an easy task. In a perfect world, the players would take a salary rollback. The owners would let the players have guaranteed contracts up to three years and soften their stand on having a hard salary cap. Then they could all have a giant orgy on a pile of dollar bills, Scrooge McDuck-style. That’s not going to happen.

Commish, baby, the owners are being opaque about their financials and the players understandably don’t want to take a pay cut. It’s human nature. However, the NBA is coming off its greatest season in over 15 years. There’s more stars and storylines than ever. If this lockout runs into the regular season, the league is going to lose a ton of momentum and the financial situation may even get worse. You know this. You’re a very smart guy, but you’re not a miracle worker. You may have to be. Don’t let this drag out until November. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.