The University of Maryland lacrosse team pulled off a hidden ball trick in their 13-6 upset of UNC in the NCAA Tournament. Shouldn’t the defenders have noticed the ball wasn’t there? I wonder if they got the idea from the movie Rookie of the Year. It’s some of Thomas Ian Nicholas’s best work, other than the time he ate out Tara Reid in American Pie. When somebody pulls the hidden ball trick in basketball, I’ll be impressed.
The Old Hidden Ball Trick
Posted: May 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in trick plays, University of Maryland0
On May 19, 1962, Marilyn Monroe sang a very special birthday song for JFK’s 45th. It’s definitely a good week to celebrate the birth of a smooth individual. Monroe was a mess and running so behind schedule that Peter Lawford introduced her as “the late Marilyn Monroe.” It was her last public appearance before her death three months later. Smooth move Exlax. That brings us to our question. If you get it right, the ghost of Joe DiMaggio will haunt you forever. The answer is after the jump.
Where did Marilyn Monroe sing Happy Birthday to President Kennedy? (and a hint: it’s more famous than the Nassau Moseleum)
What Are You Looking At?
Posted: May 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in Ambiguously Gay Duo, Saturday Night LiveThe Ambiguously Gay Duo made their dramatic return to TV Saturday night and it was a classic. Only this time, Bighead’s flesh ray turned everything into live-action. Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon played Ace and Gary while Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, and Ed Helms were the baddies. There’s no way the Smurfs movie is going to be as good as this.
NBA Playoffs Conference Finals Predictions
Posted: May 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Playoffs
It’s time for two new Conference Champions after the Lakers and Celtics were eliminated in the Semifinals. The Bulls, OKC, and Heatles all represent the dawn of a new era for the NBA, while the old guard Mavericks and Dirk Nowitski are back for the umpteenth time to reach their elusive Title. Speaking of coming back, Rory and Dat Roro Kid return to help with the predictions after I blocked all communication from them after the Knicks lost. My picks are 8-3 so far while Roro went 5-3 in the first round and Rory is even at 4-4. Luckily, we all have the same exact picks this round. Great minds think alike and are lame.
Eastern Conference Finals
(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (2) Miami Heat
Stone’s take: I just find it hard to believe that the best basketball player in the world plus Dwyane Wade can’t beat a 22-year-old kid and a bunch of really good role players. If the Bulls’ big guys control the paint and rebound, it’ll still be a close series.
Predictions: Stone: Heat in 6, Rory: Heat in 6, Roro: Heat in 6
Western Conference Finals
(3) Dallas Mavericks vs. (4) Oklahoma City
Stone’s take: The Mavericks are finally playing tough as a team, buoyed by Nowitski and Tyson Chandler. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the real deal, but it’s not their time…yet.
Predictions: Stone: Mavericks in 7, Rory: Mavericks in 7, Roro: Mavericks in 7
Counselor’s Handbook To Friday the 13th and Jason Voorhees
Posted: May 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in Friday the 13th, Jason Voorhees
Through 12 movies (sort of), Jason Voorhees slashed, stabbed, and disemboweled his way to my heart. He may have been a rip-off of Michael Myers and didn’t have the personality of Freddy Kruger, but there’s still nothing scarier than seeing a guy in a hockey mask in the middle of the woods. Today, on his birthday, Friday the 13th, I’m going to put all the pieces together like never before. This is the story of Jason Voorhees and Friday the 13th. And don’t ever call it a ‘Jason movie.’
Willa Ford: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
Posted: May 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Willa Ford
Willa Ford was one of Jason’s victims in the Friday the 13th remake. In fact, her topless Jet Ski scene is right up there as one of the classic moments of the series along with Mrs. Voorhees’s beheading and Jason going to see Phantom of the Opera in Jason Takes Manhattan. Willa is married to the Red Wings’ Mike Modano. Despite the fact that the Wings were eliminated yesterday, I vaguely remember hearing that Willa has her clit pierced, so he’s got that going for him. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
I just don’t like this guy. The high-pitched voice. The fact that he gets way more ass than me. The fedoras. Chill out with the fedoras, bro. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.
Stanley Cup Playoffs Conference Finals Predictions
Posted: May 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in hockey, Jason Voorhees, NHL, Stanley Cup Playoffs
It’s a little known fact that Jason Voorhees was a huge fan of the California Golden Seals and goaltender Gilles Meloche. When the team left Oakland for the greener pastures of Cleveland without ever advancing past the first round of the playoffs, Jason, inspired by Meloche’s badass dragon mask, started wearing his own and butchering camp counselors. My predictions are doing just about as well as those camp counselors. I’m 4-7 so far after going 2-2 in the Semis but I’m going to nail these picks if it’s the last thing I do. Like I said before, the Stanley Cup Playoffs are the hardest to predict.
In the East, the Boston Bruins and Tampa Bay Lightning have taken similar roads to get the Conference Finals. Both had solid seasons but neither was expected to reach this far. After sweeping favored teams in the previous round, the B’s and Bolts are rested and hot. Tim Thomas and Dwayne Roloson have been fabulous in goal, respectively. However, the Lightning have a trio of big-time scorers in veterans Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier and young gun Steven Stamkos, who was second in the league in goals during the regular season with 45. The Bruins, on the other hand, are without one of their leading contributors in Patrice Bergeron, who is still dealing with a concussion suffered against the Flyers. Don’t forget: St. Louis and Lecavalier led the Lightning to the Cup only seven years ago. If Thomas gets hot, it’s going to be tough, but Tampa Bay knows what it takes to get to the next level. Lightning in 6
Out West, the two best regular-season teams meet in the Vancouver Canucks and San Jose Sharks. Regular-season is the operative word because both are known for their past failures in the playoffs. Luckily, one will finally get over the hump and make the Finals while the other will have a long summer. These teams have strong offenses, with the magical Sedin twins leading the Canucks against the Sharks’ Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau. They should have plenty of opportunities to score against a couple of goaltenders that have struggled a bit so far in the playoffs. Antti Niemi is an upgrade over the skittish Evgeni Nabokov for the Sharks and won the Cup last year in Chicago. The Canucks’ maddening Roberto Luongo has mixed brilliance with putridness throughout his career and is always good for a free goal. Hopefully, it won’t be an important one. The Canucks won the Presidents’ Trophy for a reason, while the Sharks always seem to go down in flames. I just don’t want to see another riot in Vancouver like in 1994. Canucks in 7
Jason Reso AKA Christian won the WWF World Heavyweight Championship in a great ladder match against Alberto del Rio last Sunday to complete a lifelong dream after almost 20 years in the industry. Two days later, he lost the belt to Randy Orton.
Today is Friday the 13th, the birthday of our hero, the world’s greatest serial killer, Jason Voorhees. We honor him with a very special day in The Suite where we look at all things Jason. And remember, don’t mess with his mama.
Rainman Suite 