Archive for the ‘Cowgirls’ Category

S.H.I.S.: Cowboys-Buccaneers

Posted: December 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, Cowgirls, football, NFL, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The NFL Network has done it again! Two underachieving teams. One that has been eliminated from the playoffs, and one where this game barely matters thanks to the NFL’s complicated tiebreaking procedures. For what it’s worth, we need more Saturday games. I’m usually hungover when I watch on Sunday. Now I can really drink. Every time I see Tony Romo smile, I’m taking a shot. I hope I can get up tomorrow. Here’s our picks for tonight’s game.

Stone: Cowboys
Slumdeezy: Buccaneers
Rory: Cowboys
DP Animal: Cowboys
Phanatic: Buccaneers

Stone: 116-87
Rory: 114-89
Slumdeezy: 109-94
DP Animal: 100-103
Phanatic: 95-108

WEEK 80 – Cold As Ice

Posted: December 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, Cowgirls, football, Giants, NFL

Giants 37, Cowboys 34

Hold on, give me a second…


OK, all better. I mean, talk about snatching a victory away from the jaws of defeat. I’m the most optimistic fan alive but after that last Cowboys touchdown, I was already thinking about next year. Then, Eli leads a quick drive down the field. Hey, we may have a chance. Then, Romo to Austin and he has a touchdown but he loses it in the lights!!! Talk about Tebow having divine intervention. From there, it was a bad punt, the Cowboys’ silly penalties, and clutch play from Eli and the gang, and the Giants were doing their best Jason Voorhees impression.

But you know nothing is ever easy with the Giants. I’m in pretty good shape, but in like eight of the Giants’ games this year, I’ve felt like I’m going to pass out from the pressure. Romo gets the Cowboys in field goal position and it looks like this thing is headed to overtime. But wait, Tom Coughlin takes a timeout that would make Zack Morris proud. And then, JPP and his six-foot arms seal the deal!!! I’ve been a Giants fan for about 15 years and besides Super Bowl XLII and maybe WEEK 17 in 2002 to clinch a playoff berth over the Eagles in overtime, this was the best win I’ve seen.

Yeah, they blew a ton of winnable games earlier in the season but fuck if this isn’t exciting. You really can’t say enough about Eli Manning so I won’t. People can make fun of the way he looks or talks but he’s a guy I want on my team. Jacobs came out ready to run. Every week Tom Coughlin should plant something derogatory the other team said about him. Not having Bradshaw was tough but it’s hard to comment not knowing the specifics. That’s the way Coughlin runs this team and there are both positives and negatives that stem from it. Nicks finally emerged as a dominant Plaxico-like receiver and Cruz and Manningham both did their thing. The O-line also seems to have solidified with the new guys taking over. Maybe Baas and Beatty were banged up or maybe they just suck. The playcalling again was conservative as well. Why can’t we play like there’s two minutes left in the game every drive?

Of course, the defense struggled and even looked terrible at times. Cowboys receivers were consistently able to get behind defenders in the secondary and Felix Jones ran for 100 yards even after DeMarco Murray left the game. JPP is unbelievable, though. He gets to the quarterback, stuffs the run, and makes plays in the open field. Who else has a safety and the game-winning field goal block in the same game? And he’s still learning how to play! I’m excited to see him progress in the next few years.

There’s a lot of improving to do but for now the Giants are alive and well in first place in the NFC East. Like I’ve said before, I think the Giants are better than the Cowboys, not much better, but after winning in Dallas, they deserve to be where they are. In all likelihood, the division will come down to the last game at Giants Stadium. The only thing I know is that it’s going to be unpredictable. Let’s just hope Ahmad Bradshaw makes curfew.

Roy Williams Is a Hopeless Romantic

Posted: July 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in Cowgirls, football, NFL, romance, Roy Williams

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams fulfilled every chick’s fantasy with his girlfriend, Brooke Daniels, a former Miss Texas USA, by giving her a $76,000 engagement ring and a unique marriage proposal. He sent the ring and a taped message asking for her hand in marriage in an overnight package. Wouldn’t expect anything less classy coming from a Cowboy. How did a loser like Roy Williams end up with a beauty queen anyway? He caught like 12 passes last year.

Shockingly, Miss Texas rejected his proposal and Williams told her to keep the ring; he knew she’d come crawling back. Another bold move. When she was like, “Uhhhhhhh OK, thanks,” the WR decided he actually did want the ring. She said she lost it so he sued her but luckily the ring was found in her father’s care. And that, my friends, is the story of the lamest marriage proposal ever. Can we end the lockout please and concentrate on actual football stories now?