Archive for the ‘videos’ Category

Slobberknocker: Pillman’s Got A Gun

Posted: December 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in Brian Pillman, Slobberknocker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, videos, wrestling, WWF
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The WWF has done its share of distasteful storylines, but this may be the worst. In the middle of a bitter feud, the former Hollywood Blondes tag team partners, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Brian Pillman, let things get a little too personal. With Pillman laid up with an ankle injury at his home in suburban Cincinnati with his well-endowed wife, Stone Cold saw it fit to interrupt the live interview Pillman was giving that night. Pillman had a little trick up his sleeve, however: a gun.

Even for the Attitude Era, this stunt was a bit too real but Austin’s got brass ones for coming back at Pillman and screaming, “Shoot me.” And kudos to Kevin Kelly for standing there like an idiot while a murder’s about to go down. The snow was also a total cop out. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! This footage shows what happened when Raw went off the air. Looks like Mrs. Big Boobs Pillman wasn’t so scared after all. I hate this. It’s like seeing how hot dogs are made. I wanted to believe that Pillman was a second away from blowing Austin’s head off. It’s still real to me, dammit.

Trailer Park: New Year’s Eve

Posted: December 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, New Year's Eve, Trailer Park, videos
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New Year’s Eve is the feel-good movie of the holiday season and shows that people of all colors and creeds (except Asians) can come together for one special moment. Starring Ashton Kutcher, Halle Berry, Zac Efron, Jessica Biel, Bob DeNiro, Katherine Hiegl, Ludacris, Sarah Jessica Parker, Josh Duhamel, Pope John Paul II, Jon Bon Jovi, Samuel L. Jackson, Hilary Swank, Brett Favre, the dad from The Wonder Years, The Rock, and Eddie Murphy playing three characters, it has a nice concept but I’m a little worried there’s not enough star power. It has a little too much of an indie feel for my liking.

Throwback: Suavemente

Posted: December 27, 2011 by Keith Stone in Elvis Crespo, Throwback, videos
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Suavemente by Elvis Crespo represents everything that is great about music videos. When the pioneers behind MTV launched the network on August 1, 1981, this is exactly what they had in mind: a dashing leading man, high concept art, provocative dance moves, sexy ladies, and groundbreaking special effects. OK, maybe not but I heard this song recently and the video is really everything you could ask for. Try not dancing when the music first starts playing. I dare you. That’s why Elvis Crespo is suavemente.

Slobberknocker: Stone Cold Stuns Santa

Posted: December 25, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Slobberknocker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, videos, wrestling, WWF
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With “Santa Claus” holding court in the ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin took exception to St. Nick’s interaction with a young member of the audience. The Rattlesnake had it out with the imposter, leading to a stunner and a North Pole ass whooping. I hope he got extra presents that year. And yes, that wasn’t the most offensive religion-related occurrence in WWF history.

Trailer Park: Home Alone

Posted: December 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, Home Alone, Merry Christmas, Trailer Park, videos
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KEVIN!

If you’re under 30 and Home Alone isn’t your favorite Christmas movie of all-time, please leave this website right now. I don’t want to talk to you. Home Alone just wasn’t my favorite Christmas movie, it was my favorite movie for a while, at least until Independence Day came out. It has it all: laughs, drama, getting hit in the face with paint cans. When you’re a kid, there’s nothing funnier than seeing people get hit with stuff, especially when they’re BAD GUYS! Of course, you can’t leave Home Alone 2: Lost in New York out of the discussion. Despite the fact that it was the same exact movie in a different setting, it pulled it off better than The Hangover did. Seriously, though, how do you get on the plane without Kevin the second time? Wouldn’t you have him handcuffed to you at all times? Or maybe travel in a smaller group? Or take a road trip? I’m just happy the McCallisters never thought of such things.

Throwback: Beware the Gays

Posted: December 23, 2011 by Keith Stone in the gays, Throwback, videos
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Watch out! If somebody is personable and treats you with respect, you might dealing a homosexual. But don’t worry, Jimmy, you can spend time with your local boy scout leader, priest, or assistant football coach. This is like the most fucked up episode of The Twilight Zone ever. They should call it Night of the Friendly Gays.

Slobberknocker: Johnny Ace

Posted: December 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in CM Punk, Executive VP of Talent Relations, videos, wrestling, WWF
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As part of this year’s Slammy Awards, WWF Champion CM Punk presented a honorary lifetime achievement award to his nemesis and current interim Raw GM, John Laurinaitis. As part of the tribute, Punk had a video package made of all of Funk Man’s “highlights” throughout the years. The video itself is classic but the music really brings everything together nicely. Despite his reputation as a hardass behind the scenes, Laurinaitis is actually a pretty good new onscreen character. He straddles the line between being a serious decision-maker and oblivious comic relief. I’d like to keep seeing more.

Trailer Park: The Reunion

Posted: December 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in John Cena, The Reunion, Trailer Park, videos, wrestling, WWF
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Now we can get us killed in two langauges.

What do John Cena and Tyler Perry have in common? Despite the fact that their movies consistently look terrible, somebody apparently goes to see them and they keep rolling out more and more. In The Reunion, John Cena (apparently filming during one of his many firings) and a cast of Oscar winners playing his brothers start a private investigation agency after their father dies and promises to leave them a huge inheritance if they can successfully run a business together. What a realistic premise! Who wouldn’t want to see that? Cena can make fun of the Rock for being in the ring once in a blue moon, but at least when he does it, it’s entertaining. I think it’s about time for Cena to retire from the movie business.

Throwback: Video Dating

Posted: December 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in dating, Throwback, videos
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I’m Phil. Most of my friends call me Big Phil.

Dating is tough. Nowadays you can go online, take a few minutes to answer some questions or write a profile, and be banging by midnight. Not so in the Dark Ages (the 80’s). According to my extensive research, they had something called video dating which entailed filming a profile. Then any interested ladies would call a number on their, I’m not sure if this is the correct word, telephone requesting a date. So complicated. Here’s a look of the best of the best. There’s a lot of mustaches and pretty much every line is comedy gold. And yes, if I had to film one of these, I would totally wear my viking outfit. That guy must’ve been dripping with pussy.

Slobberknocker: The Torch Is Passed

Posted: December 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, videos, wrestling, WWF
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As part of a ceremony anointing himself as the future of the WWF, Randy Orton wanted the torch to be literally passed to him, so he went ahead and did the logical thing: he hired a runner to carry a torch from Miami to Ft. Lauderdale. The poor lad made the nearly 30-mile run only to be clotheslined in the final stretch by Chris Jericho, who was making his “second coming.” Jericho went on to confront Orton and cut one of his trademark promos to kick off a excellent final three-year run in wrestling. Although he dropped his sparkly-shirt wearing rocker gimmick for a more serious, suit-wearing character, Jericho’s stole the torch from Orton in more ways than one that night.

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