New Year’s Eve is the feel-good movie of the holiday season and shows that people of all colors and creeds (except Asians) can come together for one special moment. Starring Ashton Kutcher, Halle Berry, Zac Efron, Jessica Biel, Bob DeNiro, Katherine Hiegl, Ludacris, Sarah Jessica Parker, Josh Duhamel, Pope John Paul II, Jon Bon Jovi, Samuel L. Jackson, Hilary Swank, Brett Favre, the dad from The Wonder Years, The Rock, and Eddie Murphy playing three characters, it has a nice concept but I’m a little worried there’s not enough star power. It has a little too much of an indie feel for my liking.
Archive for the ‘Trailer Park’ Category
Trailer Park: New Year’s Eve
Posted: December 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, New Year's Eve, Trailer Park, videos0
Trailer Park: Home Alone
Posted: December 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, Home Alone, Merry Christmas, Trailer Park, videos
KEVIN!
If you’re under 30 and Home Alone isn’t your favorite Christmas movie of all-time, please leave this website right now. I don’t want to talk to you. Home Alone just wasn’t my favorite Christmas movie, it was my favorite movie for a while, at least until Independence Day came out. It has it all: laughs, drama, getting hit in the face with paint cans. When you’re a kid, there’s nothing funnier than seeing people get hit with stuff, especially when they’re BAD GUYS! Of course, you can’t leave Home Alone 2: Lost in New York out of the discussion. Despite the fact that it was the same exact movie in a different setting, it pulled it off better than The Hangover did. Seriously, though, how do you get on the plane without Kevin the second time? Wouldn’t you have him handcuffed to you at all times? Or maybe travel in a smaller group? Or take a road trip? I’m just happy the McCallisters never thought of such things.
Trailer Park: The Reunion
Posted: December 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in John Cena, The Reunion, Trailer Park, videos, wrestling, WWF
Now we can get us killed in two langauges.
What do John Cena and Tyler Perry have in common? Despite the fact that their movies consistently look terrible, somebody apparently goes to see them and they keep rolling out more and more. In The Reunion, John Cena (apparently filming during one of his many firings) and a cast of Oscar winners playing his brothers start a private investigation agency after their father dies and promises to leave them a huge inheritance if they can successfully run a business together. What a realistic premise! Who wouldn’t want to see that? Cena can make fun of the Rock for being in the ring once in a blue moon, but at least when he does it, it’s entertaining. I think it’s about time for Cena to retire from the movie business.
Trailer Park: The Darkest Hour
Posted: December 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in Happy Holidays, The Darkest Hour, Trailer Park, videos
I was reading with the TV on when this trailer came up. I heard the announcer say, “Survive the holidays,” so I assumed it was for a crappy family holiday comedy starring Tim Allen and Kristin Davis. All of a sudden, people started getting vaporized. I’ve seen the trailer several times now and it doesn’t look like The Darkest Hour has anything to do with the holidays at all. In fact, the plot seems to revolve around people being snapped up by invisible beings. How can you make an entire movie about that? They’re invisible and they turn everybody into dust. If Will Smith isn’t in the movie, I can’t imagine the battle would last very long. I’ll spend my money on New Year’s Eve, thank you very much.
And in the role of a lifetime Gary Oldman.
MIDGETS! How did I miss this in theaters? You have command performances by Kate Beckinsale as some sort of a artsy chick who likes to give blow jobs and Matthew McConaughey as a Jew. Then, Gary Oldman comes along and blows them out of the fucking water by playing a dwarf. When I was a kid, my friends and I would put our shoes on our knees and pretend we were little people. Gary Oldman did that and got paid. That’s what I call the role of a lifetime! He should have won an Oscar for keeping a straight face throughout filming.
Seriously, Tom Hanks wins for playing Forrest Gump but Gary Oldman can’t any love for playing a short dude? Nobody else could have pulled off this role of a lifetime. Well, maybe Danny DeVito. Actually that would have been pretty awesome if Danny DeVito had Gary Oldman’s part. And how wild do you think it was filming this movie? You have all these little guys running around plus Matthew McConaughey high all the time. That’s what we like to call a recipe for disaster. There better be a making-of feature on the DVD.
Trailer Park: Thanksgiving
Posted: November 26, 2011 by Keith Stone in Grindhouse, Thanksgiving, Trailer Park, videos
White meat. Dark meat. All will be carved.
When Eli Roth was young, he and his friend (the killer pilgrim) would joke around about the non-existent Thanksgiving horror movie that needed to be made on the heels of every other slasher film that took place on a holiday. That never happened but at we least we got the trailer for Thanksgiving out of it, which he directed as part of Grindhouse. This movie NEEDS to be made. I would see it like eight times for the trampoline scene alone. If the studios keep rolling out garbage like Jack and Jill, the least they can give us is Thanksgiving.
PCU is a forgotten classic about college in the early 90’s starring a looking-a-bit-too-old-to-be-in-college Jeremy Piven, David Spade, and Jon “Mikey” Favreau in dreadlocks. It’s a movie that’s simultaneously corny and over-the-top yet perfectly conveys the joys and perils of school. It’s also ridiculously dated, which is good for more than a few laughs. Funny that Piven would later become the nemesis in another college movie only ten years later in Old School. I only wonder how he had more hair in the last season of Entourage than he did in this flick.
Only because Kim Kardashian is having a tough week. When I searched for Mandingo on Wikipedia, it gave me three options: this film, the novel the film was based on, and the porn star. Sadly, although Mandingo has been nominated for five AVN Awards, including Best Anal Sex Scene twice, he has yet to come away with a trophy. Don’t lose hope, buddy.
Trailer Park: Summer School
Posted: November 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in Summer School, Trailer Park, videos
Summer School is one of my favorite movies of all-time. Mark Harmon stars as Freddy Shoop, a slacker of a gym teacher who gets roped into teaching a remedial English summer school class because he’s up for tenure and nobody else wants to. Of course, each of his students has a quirk and eventually he comes to appreciate them. Along the way, the kids learn to believe in themselves but Mr. Shoop learns even more about life, and falls in love with a skinny Kirstie Alley. If you haven’t seen it, add it to the queue. Summer School still holds up.
Scary Trailer Park: Halloween
Posted: October 27, 2011 by Keith Stone in Halloween, Trailer Park, videos“Was that the Boogeyman?”
“As a matter of fact, it was.”
What else would it be this week? Often imitated, never duplicated, Halloween led the slasher crazy in the late 70’s and 80’s. As the silent antagonist, Michael Myers is still one of the most terrifying characters in movie history. This movie was just on TV and I had to stop and watch it. It’s just too good. The music is iconic, Jamie Lee Curtis is sexy and tough, and the Shatner mask pulls it all together (yes, Michael’s mask was actually a molding of William Shatner). Even the trailer is scary as hell. I miss the days when a freaky narrator would set the tone for you. We need more of this!
Rainman Suite 