Archive for the ‘videos’ Category

Throwback: 21 Jump Street

Posted: March 17, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , , , ,


Jump! Down on Jump Street!

If you never heard of 21 Jump Street, what type of TV show does it look like from the opening credits? Judging from the music, I would think it’s a 80’s high school comedy, a Summer School for the small screen if you will. However, it was apparently a teen crime drama that took itself a little too seriously and centered around police officers going undercover in high schools. I say apparently because who under the age of 30 has actually seen an episode?

I did see the movie remake starring Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, though, and it was exceptional. They remade it similarly to the Ben Stiller-Owen Wilson Starsky & Hutch. The premise hasn’t changed but the tone is way more tongue in cheek. Channing Tatum gets by on his good looks more than anything but Jonah Hill is phenomenal. The movie makes fun of everybody, from moms to black people, and is extremely politically incorrect. But it’s still smart humor. I honestly don’t know that I ever laughed as much throughout an entire movie that had a legitimately solid plot than during 21 Jump Street. Ice Cube was great too as the guys’ scene-stealing boss. It’s perfect for date night if your date is a degenerate, but then again if you’re in The Suite that’s probably the type of person you’re dating.

Advertisements


It’s March so let’s get ready for the Madness. In the 1993 NCAA Title Game, Michigan’s Chris Webber called a timeout with 11 seconds left and UNC up by 2. Of course, the Wolverines didn’t have any timeouts. Some players are clutch and some aren’t. Jeter is clutch, and Chris Webber wasn’t. He’s afraid from the second he gets the rebound. After the weird pass/travel that wasn’t called, he does not want to be ball in his hands AT ALL. He barely even looked to pass once he got trapped in the corner. And he may claim he didn’t know how many timeouts Michigan had left but I’m not buying it. It looks like he’s thinking about calling one from the start and once he actually does call it, the look on his face screams “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” If he didn’t make hundreds of millions of dollars in the NBA, I’d feel bad for him.

Trailer Park: Bending the Rules

Posted: March 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , , , , ,


I have a new policy. Anytime WWE Studios releases the trailer of one of its “movies,” it’s going in the Trailer Park faster than you can cook up a batch of crystal meth. Their latest foray into “film making” is Bending the Rules “starring” Edge and Jamie Kennedy. Edge “portrays” Blades who appears to be an easygoing, dimwitted police officer who doesn’t mind bending the rules (get it?) while Kennedy “plays” an uptight, straitlaced lawyer who’s forced to embark on a case with Blades. See how that works. They’re opposites. Honestly, I think Edge has potential but maybe as a secondary character paired with a legit actor who can raise his game. It’s like wrestling. Unfortunately, Jamie Kennedy is the Brooklyn Brawler.

Throwback: Chuck Norris vs. Joe Piscopo

Posted: February 26, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , , , ,


“Ya didn’t say go, man. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready.”

Billed as a Karate Kid for the 90’s, Sidekicks was 100 times better if only because the central plot revolved around Chuck Norris. Not Chuck Norris playing a character. Chuck Norris as himself. With Jonathan Brandis (RIP!) playing the Daniel-san role, the plot is almost exactly the same, except that fake Daniel-san is obsessed with the man who can cure cancer with his tears (it’s too bad he never cries). When it comes time for the climactic tournament, fake Daniel-san’s team doesn’t have enough members. But that’s OK because Chuck Norris brought his gear and would gladly like to randomly compete in a karate competition. His opponent? Out of New Jersey, a svelte (chemically enhanced) Joe Piscopo, whose character might be the most cartoonish baddie in movie history, something like a cross between Elmer Fudd and Kim Jong-Il. Props to Joe for bringing subtlety and nuance to the role. Alas, he was no match for Chuck Norris.



Brandon Jacobs, you just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do next? I’m going to a TV taping of TNA Impact Wrestling!

All Brandon Jacobs wanted to do was watch his buddy James Storm in action and have a cold celebration beer after a big win. But after Bully Ray stole his brew and spit it in Jacobs’s face, it was like Super Bowl XLVI all over again as the big man threw Bully Ray to the ground like he was a Patriots linebacker. It’s just a shame D’Lo Brown did such a fantastic job holding Jacobs back or someone may have been killed. Now it appears that following in the long tradition of New York Giants entering the wrestling ring (I’ll never forget the time Y.A. Tittle fought Killer Kowalski), Brandon Jacobs is going to get a shot at Bully Ray for real. Better brush up on those mike skills before then. Now let’s get some more beers.

Throwback: I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Posted: February 12, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , , ,


The death of Whitney Houston is very sad. Tragic, in fact. There’s nobody you’d think was less likely to die under her circumstances than mid-80’s Whitney. With her passing only a few after Michael Jackson, you really have to wonder about all the pressure they must have felt as international superstars. To have an amazing gift and all the money and fame you could ever want, only to fumble it all away after succumbing to the immense temptations is something that we will never understand. On a more positive note, I Wanna Dance With Somebody might be the happiest music video ever. Of course Whitney wanted to dance with somebody. How could she resist all the neon lights and dudes with spin moves that put Magic Johnson to shame?

Trailer Park: Groundhog Day

Posted: February 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , ,


Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. I don’t know what that means. Six more weeks of weather or something. More importantly, they don’t make movies like Groundhog Day anymore. If it was made today, it would star Ben Affleck and he would turn into a superhero twenty minutes in. Then they would make four sequels, reinvent the series, and make four more sequels. Groundhog Day has such a simple, interesting concept. What would you do if everyday was exactly the same? I’d make Kate Upton my Andy MacDowell. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard as having to take French lessons over and over. Also, gambling. Lots of gambling.