Posts Tagged ‘MLB’

Bobby Valentine came out firing shots at the Yankees today, namely at Derek Jeter’s flip play and A-Rod eating Jason Veritek’s glove in 2004. Forget about Veritek. Alex got bitched up that day, but you cannot downplay the significance of the Flip. Discussing the play, Bobby V said, “We’ll never practice that. I think [Jeter] was out of position and the ball gets [Giambi] out if [Jeter] doesn’t touch it, personally.”

I get that all he’s trying to do do is stir up shit but nobody, noooooooooooooooooooooobody, can downplay how important and clutch that moment was. It’s one of the greatest defensive plays in baseball history, not only because Jeter had the presence of mind to be in that spot but because he was physically able to catch and flip the ball so quickly. Did I mention that it was during the seventh inning of a 1-0 elimination game on the road right after New York was hit by the 9/11 attacks? How many players have the balls to do what Jeter did? And Bobby V is just plain wrong. There’s no way the ball gets there otherwise. Shane Spencer made a horrendous throw. Even Ramon Hernandez, who was in the on-deck circle said, “If Jeter doesn’t catch the ball, the ball hits me, that’s how far off the mark it was. Jeter made an unbelievable, heads-up play. Then he makes a great throw to boot. Unbelievable. The play saved them.”

I used to like Bobby V on the Mets. It was cute, the whole thing with the mustache, but this isn’t Queens anymore. The Red Sox finished last season in the most pathetic way imaginable, both on and off the field. You know what you do when you get smacked up? You shut up and you play. You don’t take unprovoked, inaccurate cheap shots about iconic moments that happened 10 years ago. What’s next? Is he going to say Babe Ruth didn’t call his shot? Last time I checked the Captain had 5 rings and Bobby V had none. Worry about beating the Devil Rays and Blue Jays, Bobby. Chill and have a drink. Oh wait, I forgot…

ESPN

In what will surely be a classy affair, Red Sox third baseman Kevin “The Chin” Youkilis will be marrying Tom Brady’s sister, Julie (who has an impressive chin herself), after the two were recently engaged. This will be Youk’s second wedding, although his first one didn’t count because he didn’t file the proper paperwork. I wonder if he returned the presents? That time it was to one of Ben Affleck’s ex-girlfriends but the happy couple didn’t last. Apparently, Boston is more incestual than a freshman dorm. Julie Brady has never been married but she has a five-year-old daughter. Somewhere, Derek Jeter is laughing.

So come one and come all to Boston’s Wedding of the Century. It might not be legally recognized but I hear Tom Brady’s bastard niece is adorable. The members of the bridal party will all be wearing brand-new pink Red Sox caps, and no, they won’t be booing Tom Brady for that pass to Welker. They’ll be shouting, “Youuuuuuuuuuuk.” Can’t wait for for these two to have kids. Can you imagine the size of their chins?

Boston Herald

When one thinks of great Yankee catchers, a few names come to mind. Yogi Berra. Thurman Munson. Dikembe Mutombo? The retired NBA star was at the 32nd Annual Thurman Munson Awards (Tebow knows why) and posed with Yogi, Mrs. Yogi, and Munson’s widow, Diana. According to Guinness, it is now officially the most awkward interaction in human history. I imagine it went something like this.

Mutombo (in Cookie Monster voice): Izz e prezzere ta mit yuuuuu, Mussta Boora.
Yogi: What? You have to speak when you talk.


I’m sick of everyone saying that teachers have the cushiest jobs. Nothing compares to the life of pro athlete. You get paid tons of money and have months and months off. And who wants to leave work at 3 when you have all that road beef? So far this winter, we’ve seen R.A. Dickey climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and A-Rod had a fun surgery vacation in Germany. However, it looks like nothing compares to the time Atlanta Braves infielder Jack Wilson has been having. Let’s see Adam Vinatieri hit a Jet Ski when the game is on the line.

Down in the Amazon, Phillies ace Roy Halladay proved that he can save more than just the Phillies from long losing streaks. He actually saved a naked local fisherman whose ass was bitten by an anaconda. Now before you make the obvious ass attacked by giant snake joke, keep in mind that according to the movie Anaconda, the snakes are extremely dangerous, can grow to up to 100 feet in length, and have the ability to eat Jon Voight whole. Not so funny anymore, is it? Halladay helped the man gather his gear and get into his capsized boat after the attack, and then presumably offered him an ass massage because that’s the brotherly thing to do. Is there anything Roy Halladay can’t do (besides make it to the World Series)?

Yahoo!