>All in a Name

Posted: February 16, 2011 by Keith Stone in Frankie Muniz, ridiculous


Looks like Frankie Muniz had a sweet little Valentine’s Day weekend. According to a police report, Frankie punched his girlfriend, Elycia Turnbow, and held a gun up to his head. He was taken to the hospital and released, then returned to his house to continue fighting with his girl. Wow. Seems like only yesterday little Malcom was getting into trouble for playing hooky and now he’s hitting girls.

I know child actors are fucked up, but this may be the worst case. You know why? Frankie Muniz is a Clippers fan. If I had tens of millions of dollars by the time I turned 18, I certainly wouldn’t be doing masochistic things like going to Clippers games and having a girlfriend. I’d probably drink margaritas and watch videos on YouTube all day. Actually, that’s what I do now.

Here’s the real moral of the story: don’t date a girl with a crazy name. Elycia? Really? A girl named Ashleigh subletted my room for a couple of weeks and lost my keys. If she had stayed longer, my entire apartment would be up in flames. Crazy name, crazy girl. That’s a lesson for all you guys out there. Stay away from girls like Rebekkah, Sindee, and Dani.


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