Far be it for me to criticize a commercial that has Blake Griffin jumping over a tiger, but why exactly does he want to be in this game so much? Maybe I’ve been watching the Finals a lot, but it’s driving me crazy. Props for jumping over the tiger, though. It’s awesome. I also like how it says “Do not attempt” on the bottom of the screen. I can barely jump over a kitten, much less a tiger. Thanks, lawyers.
Archive for the ‘NBA’ Category
Blake Griffin Wants To Be In Doom-Like Video Game
Posted: June 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Blake Griffin, commercials, NBA0
Queen James Is Casper the Friendly Ghost
Posted: June 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals, Queen James
LeBron James scored eight points last night. None in the fourth quarter. Did I mention that he’s the best basketball player in the world and it was Game 4 of the NBA Finals? IT WAS THE BIGGEST GAME OF HIS LIFE! HE TOOK ONE SHOT IN THE FOURTH QUARTER! Mike Miller touched the ball more in crunch time. How does this happen? How is Spoelstra or Riley not running on the court and forcing him to shoot? LeBron can take the ball to the hoop virtually at will. If he doesn’t make it, he’ll at least most likely get fouled.
I understand that sometimes it’s better to have D-Wade with the rock, but he’s deferring to Mario Chalmers and Mike Bibby. IT’S GAME 4 OF THE NBA FINALS! IF YOU WANT THE FUCKING TITLE, YOU GO OUT THERE AND WIN IT! NOT PASS OFF TO UDONIS HASLEM! It boggles the mind. LeBron has had problems like this before but you’d figure he would get over them on such a big stage and after beating Boston and Chicago. It’s obviously the reason he left Cleveland; he didn’t want to be “the man.” If he came to New York, the Garden crowd would have surely helped him overcome his bitchness. He must have the smallest cojones in South Beach.
Heat Nation Responds To Celebration-Gate
Posted: June 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals
Dat Roro Kid couldn’t take Rory’s comments about Game 2 lying down. Here’s what he had to say. He writes erotic fan fiction about LeBron James at Miami Heat Nation.
Some people may reference a concept called ‘taunting’ in the Game 2 loss to the Mavericks. That’s a fairly hilarious notion. It’s mythical. It’s like a rainbow-colored unicorn flying across your bedroom ceiling in the middle of the night. REAL taunting occurs in pre-game introductions. Like, in say, Game 1 when we blasted Cee-Lo’s ‘Fuck You’ during the Mavs pre-game lineup intros. And sure enough…one by one…those eventual losers strut out summarily to assembly line high-fives and deliciously-chagrined mugs. As a Heat fan, it was LAUGHABLE. They just sat there and ate it. We were telling them ‘FUCK YOU’ right in their faces and they took it!!! THAT WAS GAME ONE! Even better was our own team coming out to “Fuck Them Otha N*ggas”. And we did. WE FUCKED THEM VERY HARD.
So if you want to assign Game 2’s win to some kind of revenge for ‘taunting’ (‘taunting’ being a celebratory BIG FUCKING SHOT WHEN WE’RE UP BY 15 WITH 6 MIN TO GO AND D-WADE HOLDING HIS ARM UP AFTER A HUGE CORNER 3), then please go ahead. As Miami Heat Nation, we don’t really mind. We’ve been dogged all year for any single thing we do and it is only motivation you give us to kick the Mavs’ ass in the Finals and dominate the NBA for the next 5 years. If maybe you weren’t some wet-behind-the-ears child, you might know that what actually occurred on the court was a series of defensive breakdowns. The Miami Heat are first and foremost a defensively stout team and without said defense there is no way to get the transition points that allow them to dominate consistently when they are hitting on all cylinders. There was a lack of focus there but I ASSURE YOU that whatever ‘taunting’ has been addressed on this here site was not the case. Why didn’t they come out GUNS BLAZIN’ when we basically told them FUCK YOU in Game 1? Isn’t that the worst taunt imaginable?? Certainly more than D-Wade holding up his arm after a huge 3 (which he is typically poor at hitting if you actually knew anything about the Heat at all).
But, I digress, I’m happy for “celebration-gate”. It’s only more motivation to dominate the fuck out of the NBA for years and years to come. Come along for the ride or shut the fuck up on the sidelines.
Everybody’s Talking About What Everybody Isn’t Talking About But Should Be Talking About
Posted: June 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals
Rory had some thoughts about last night’s epic comeback by the Mavericks. As always, check out his musings about the New Jersey Nets, Russian politics, and Bruce Springsteen at Slippery When Nets.Miami-Dallas Game 2 was a game for the ages. I showed up late for the game, arriving at a bar on MacDougal Street roughly halfway through the third quarter. The game was close until I ordered a beer – which coincided with an incredible Miami scoring streak. I figured this drink would be my last, as it didn’t seem worthwhile to stick around as the game was becoming a blowout.
Then, this happened:
And the rest is history. You all know the story by now: the Mavs went on a run and incredibly won the game. And the other story you all know now: that play above DID NOT MEAN ANYTHING. At least, that’s what the general sports media wants to tell you. I have read more articles based on the premise “Everyone is going to say Wade’s taunting changed the game, but that’s not what happened!” than I have articles that actually said “Wade’s taunting changed the game.”
There are many excuses people use to downplay Wade’s taunt, but the typical argument usually goes, “Were the Mavs not trying their hardest to win before the taunt?” Well, have you ever been taunted before? It drives you crazy, and kicks up some weird primal hormones in your brain. You become less rational and more controlled by your base instincts. The rational Mavs were probably thinking, “Tonight’s not our night. It is a best of 7 series after all, so even if we blow this we are going home and can still turn it around.” They were stuck on 73 points for about four minutes of gametime in the fourth quarter. Then the Wade taunt erased all common sense, and the Mavs played like raging bulls.
If taunting did not matter, we would be taunting all the time. Taunting is a fun activity – who doesn’t love putting others down to hide your insecurity? On this site alone, both Keith and I wrote taunting articles towards each other regarding the Knicks and the Nets. But, taunt the wrong person, and you will pay. And that’s what happened last night.
Donnie Walsh Out As Knicks President
Posted: June 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Donnie Walsh, Knicks, NBA
Details are still a bit hazy but it looks as if Donnie Walsh will not be returning to his position as Knicks President and GM and will instead be a consultant. Obviously, this is a huge blow. Donnie did a marvelous job digging the Knicks out of salary cap hell and adding Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony. He wasn’t perfect but he brought an aura of respectability back to the club. Donnie reportedly was overruled during negotiations for Melo and perhaps is tired of not having complete control. His health has also been an issue. This probably won’t be the biggest summer for the Knicks but it still would have been nice to have Donnie’s steady hand continue the job he started three years ago. He’s a throwback to the old school, has had a great career, and is a hell of a guy. He will be missed.
It will be very, very interesting to see who emerges as his replacement…
Classic Video of the Week: Here Comes Willis
Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, NBA, NBA Finals, NBA Playoffs, videos, Willis ReedIt’s Championship Week, the greatest week of the year. To celebrate, here is the greatest game in NBA Finals history. After pulling a leg muscle in Game 5 of the 1970 NBA Finals against the Los Angeles Lakers and missing the following game, Knicks center Willis Reed returned for Game 7 at the Garden in dramatic fashion. Clyde Frazier added 36 points, 19 assists, and five steals and the Knickerbockers had their first World Title.
Battle Between Good and Evil: 2011 NBA Finals Predictions
Posted: May 31, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals, NBA Playoffs
This is bigger than basketball. This is biblical stuff. This is Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII. This is every game you played when you were a kid. Cops and robbers. Good guys and bad guys. A team seeking redemption for five years of failure against a team that came together for all the wrong reasons. Pride and vengeance against glitz and ego. Rory and Roro join me after we nailed both Conference Finals Series. Who ya got?
Roro’s take: My faith has never wavered. If anything, I was too nice to the opposition. This series won’t be any different as the Mavs have not faced a defense this good.
Roro’s pick: Heat in 5
Rory’s take: I said the Heat back in September, and even when they were down 1-0 versus the Bulls. I’ve sided with evil, and I can’t back out now.
Rory’s pick: Heat in 6
Stone’s take: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from 21 years of watching basketball, it’s that a good team can overcome any obstacle. The Heat have two players. I still believe in fairytale endings.
Stone’s pick: Mavericks in 7
NBA Playoffs Conference Finals Predictions
Posted: May 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Playoffs
It’s time for two new Conference Champions after the Lakers and Celtics were eliminated in the Semifinals. The Bulls, OKC, and Heatles all represent the dawn of a new era for the NBA, while the old guard Mavericks and Dirk Nowitski are back for the umpteenth time to reach their elusive Title. Speaking of coming back, Rory and Dat Roro Kid return to help with the predictions after I blocked all communication from them after the Knicks lost. My picks are 8-3 so far while Roro went 5-3 in the first round and Rory is even at 4-4. Luckily, we all have the same exact picks this round. Great minds think alike and are lame.
Eastern Conference Finals
(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (2) Miami Heat
Stone’s take: I just find it hard to believe that the best basketball player in the world plus Dwyane Wade can’t beat a 22-year-old kid and a bunch of really good role players. If the Bulls’ big guys control the paint and rebound, it’ll still be a close series.
Predictions: Stone: Heat in 6, Rory: Heat in 6, Roro: Heat in 6
Western Conference Finals
(3) Dallas Mavericks vs. (4) Oklahoma City
Stone’s take: The Mavericks are finally playing tough as a team, buoyed by Nowitski and Tyson Chandler. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the real deal, but it’s not their time…yet.
Predictions: Stone: Mavericks in 7, Rory: Mavericks in 7, Roro: Mavericks in 7
Trivia Time: 5/2/11 Edition
Posted: May 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Playoffs, trivia
Isiah Thomas protege Zach Randolph and the 8th seeded Memphis Grizzlies shocked the NBA by upsetting the San Antonio Spurs 4-2 in their First Round matchup. Only three other 8-seeds have upset a 1-seed since the playoffs expanded to their current format in 1984, which brings us to our question. If you get it right, Z-Bo will take you to finest strip club in Memphis, Christie’s Cabaret. Answer is after the jump.
Which previous three 8th seeded teams have advanced to the Second Round of the NBA Playoffs? (and a hint: it is not the 1993 Indiana Pacers)
>A Rose By Any Other Name
Posted: May 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in Chicago Bulls, Derrick Rose, NBA, NBA Playoffs
We’re still trying to figure out this new system. Here’s what Rodave had to say about Derrick Rose’s Round 1 performance:
The 2011 playoffs have been off the hook. In the very first game the Bulls showed us why TNT knows drama when Michael Jor—I mean, Derrick Rose looked as if he would put up a contested layup before dishing it off to John Pax—I mean, Kyle Korver for a game winning three-pointer. (more…)
Rainman Suite 