It’s officially Week 1, kids. Time for some football. You never know what’s going to happen. Just like in this clip from Week 1 in 2009. Down 7-6 with the ball on the 13-yard line and 28 seconds left, Kyle Orton needed a miracle. And he got one. Who happened to be calling the game? Gus Johnson.
Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category
Classic Video of the Week: OH MY GOD STOKLEY!
Posted: September 7, 2011 by Keith Stone in Brandon Stokely, football, Gus Johnson, NFL, videos0
The Dream Team.
Superbowl Contender.
Lombardi or Bust.
A lot has been made of the 2011 Eagles – the additions of Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Jason Babin, Steve Smith, Vince Young, Ronnie Brown, and, of course, Nnamdi Asomugha (million of Philadelphians are still practicing that one) signaled to all national media outlets that it was time to over-hype and slather on crazy expectations for this year’s Birds.
But the Eagles certainly still have issues to contend with, most notably on the defensive side of the football. With the exception of Trent Cole, there are no dominating pass rushers on the D-line and their linebacking crew has been decimated by injuries and player departures, spurring many questions in front of the now-lethal secondary. This is in addition to a brand new defensive coordinator in Juan Castillo who has no experience on that side of the ball.
The offensive power is pretty solidified at this point and no one can really argue with the bevvy of top fantasy football options at the big positions: Vick at the helm with McCoy in the backfield, as well as weapons in front of them like DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, Steve Smith and even Brent Celek and Jason Avant. Will Vick shake off any lingering issues preventing him from being a top-notch QB? We’ll see, but I certainly don’t miss Kevin Kolb and anyone who does is an idiot. The O-line should improve as well with new offensive line coach Howard Mudd and some young blood from the draft.
Wildcard – the departure of David Akers, kicker and the highest-scoring NFL player of the past decade. Eagles fans could sleep through most field goal attempts, but that comfort is long gone with newly-drafted kicker Alex Henery.
The fact of the matter is that the Eagles will be good this season, especially if they stay healthy. They’ll probably win 11 games. That will probably be good enough to win the NFC East this season. Wonderful. But the major question is still Vick, and him getting over that hump that prevents him from being brilliant all of the time.
And if we don’t go all the way this year, someone is getting a cheesesteak to the head.
On Thursday, the NFL kicks off its 92th season. Fresh off a lockout, the sport is as popular as ever and is America’s pastime. Last year, the Green Bay Packers won their 13th World Title, most in the league. However, they were not one of the NFL’s original teams. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and you won’t get sacked. The answer, as always, is after the jump.
Which two franchises remain from the NFL’s inaugural 1920 season? (and a hint: it is not the New Jersey Generals)
The Jets beat the Giants tonight 17-3 and I’m sure everyone on the Jets side of things is going to make a big deal about it, but they can shut their holes. The Giants moved the ball for the entire first half while the Jets scored with the help of a 70-yard kickoff return by Antonio Cromartie. This isn’t taking anything away from the Jets, but they had like two first downs in the first half. For the G-Men, it was the same old story. They stalled around the 30-yard line and couldn’t convert when it meant the most. The Jets got the W but we’re not going to know who the best team in New York is until December 24. I thought the Giants played better, but I’m sure Rexy won’t agree. It’s all a matter of perception.
Jabroni of the Week: Rex Grossman
Posted: August 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in Deadskins, football, jabronis, NFL, Rex Grossman
What is it with these guys named Rex? QB Rex Grossman went on the record saying that his Redskins were going to win the NFC East this year. I’m all for being optimistic, but when you make a guarantee there has to be a somewhat-realistic chance that the prediction is going to come true. I have a better chance of hooking up with Kate Upton than the Deadskins do of winning the division.
Forget about the fact that everyone is slobbering all over the Dream Team to go 19-0. The Giants and Cowboys are both underrated and have good chances in the East. The only way the Deadskins could win a division was if they were magically realigned to the NFC West. Even then, it’d be close. For sure, Washington isn’t terrible. They’re just not good. They made some decent free agent pickups (overpaid as usual) but ironically enough, their greatest weakness is the guy that made this crazy guarantee. Rex Grossman would have trouble leading a team to win the UFL, much less the toughest division in football. I’d buy an outside shot at a playoff berth, but NFC East Champs? You gotta be fucking kidding me. If the Skins win the NFC East, I’ll stand in the middle of Times Square wearing a burgundy and gold speedo and sing Hail To the Redskins.
Rexy, baby, I know you made the Super Bowl five years ago but that was because you had the best defense in the game. Plus the NFC sucked that year. This isn’t 2006. I like your confidence but come on. Nobody’s buying it. Not even the most optimistic Deadskins fan. Honestly, I didn’t even realize you were still in the NFL. Why don’t you worry more about completing more than 10 passes in a game and not about magical fantasies? And enjoy the 6-10 season. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.
It’s not prudent to take too much out of the first preseason game, but Jason Pierre-Paul was off-the-hook against the Panthers. Two sacks, seven tackles, and a ton of pressure on the QB. Sure, it was only the preseason and it was the Panthers but if JPP really steps it up this season, the Giants’ D-Line is going to be better than ever.
The kid was a little lost in the beginning of last year but turned it on at the end. It was one of the underrated stories of 2010. Plus, now Osi knows he’s going to have to kick it into high gear and work even harder to keep his starting job. A little competition is good for everybody. Who cares if the Giants lost out on Plax, Smith, and Boss? They have three beasts who are going to attack the quarterback. Michael Vick is going to be running like a dog. It doesn’t matter how many cornerbacks get injured during training camp. I could play in the secondary with a can of PBR in my hand and the Three-Headed Monster would take care of everything. One gets tired, the next one comes in. Kinda like me with the ladies on a Saturday night.
Pat Hanlon, Man’s Man
Posted: August 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in football, Giants, Man's Man, NFL, Pat Hanlon
New York Giants VP of Communications, Pat Hanlon, took to Twitter yesterday and lashed out against Giants fans who were upset about the team’s quiet offseason and most recently the departure of receiver Steve Smith to Philadelphia. Hanlon’s tweets included gems like:
“You like winning? Sit tight.”
“The last proclamation out of Philly that meant anything was a Declaration in 1776.”
“A lot of noisemakers end up in the ditch.”
“We don’t play on paper. You know what you can do w/ that paper?”
“Rebuild my ass! I got your rebuild.”
Hanlon is right on. He’s never been afraid to take anyone on whether it’s a fool like Rex Ryan or even his own disillusioned fans. Nobody is forcing anyone to root for the Giants. If you’re so unhappy about the team’s moves then go root for the Jets or the Eagles.
For some reason, the criticism against the Giants always seems to come doubly harsh. They won 10 games last year and missed the playoffs on a tiebreaker. That’s a good season. Not great, but a very solid season in which there were a ton of injuries. They won 10 games in 2007 and then all they did was win the Super Bowl.
Management didn’t have a ton of money to spend and they weren’t willing to take big financial risks on question marks. Some guys, like Mathias Kiwanuka, took less money to stay with the Blue. Others, like Steve Smith and Kevin Boss, went for the cash and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re both Champions who played significant roles in the greatest Giants season of all-time and they’re allowed to think for themselves and their families. I’ll personally always think of them fondly and wish them well (even Smith playing for a division rival).
The fact of the matter is that everything isn’t as bad as everyone is making it out to be, just like Hanlon said. Every significant skill player is back. Coming out of the lockout, that’s going to be important as teams have less time to assimilate newbies into their systems.
Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs were running really well towards the end of last year when they were both healthy and should play a larger role in the offense. Hakeem Nicks and Mario Manningham were also money in 2010, combining for 20 TD’s and nearly 2,000 yards. With another year of Eli’s passes coming their way, their numbers should only continue to improve. When Osi Umenyiora’s situation is resolved, and it looks like it might be soon, every healthy, young player from last year’s team will be back and ready to contribute.
The losses hurt but there are a lot of young players waiting in the wings that will need to step up. General Manager Jerry Reese has proven to be a good evaluator of talent before and hopefully guys like Kevin Boothe and Travis Beckum will pan out. He may have dug himself a hole by mismanaging the cap a bit but he is also prudent in leaving some room to make adjustments as the season gets closer and even during the season. Reese is a tough guy and knows what he’s doing. He also does a great Jim Fassel impression.
Champions know that the game is played on the field. All the Giants fans that are complaining need to take their whine somewhere else. A season isn’t lost with one injury or defection. The Dream Team can start planning their parade down Broad St. as Michael Vick rides in a float with a litter of puppies and Steve Smith brings up the rear in a motorized wheelchair. I won’t start thinking about it until February 5th. Talk is cheap. Play the game. Keep calling out the haters, Pat Hanlon. You are a man’s man.
Rex Ryan Needs To Stop Talking, Part 54
Posted: August 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in Fat Boy Rex, football, Jets, NFL, tattoos
Rex Ryan showed up at Jets training camp with a new tat on his right leg. No surprise here. The classy Jets fan base probably has several thousand douchey tribal tattoos amongst them. The only thing puzzling was the explanation. Rex said it meant “believe in yourself.” No it doesn’t, idiot. It’s a bunch of squiggly lines and shapes. If anything, it looks like an octopus. Concentrate on winning games and sucking your wife’s toes and less on getting ugly tattoos and making up stupid reasoning behind them. No Super Bowls since 1969, brotha.
After all this lockout nonsense, I can barely remember anything about the 2010 season. I think the Packers won the Super Bowl or something. It’s time for a refresher. That brings us to our Question of the Week. If you get it right, the title belt is all yours. The answer, as always, is after the jump.
Who led the NFL in rushing yards in 2010? (and a hint: it is not Steve Weatherford)
Like every other team, the Giants are frantically trying to make player moves now that the lockout is over. They’re a little over the cap so it’s time to make tough decisions to move into the 2011 season and improve on last year’s 10-6 record. Surprisingly, one of the players they’re looking at is former star Plaxico Burress, which seemed unlikely as recent as last week. I cannot stress how much I think the Giants should make this move. I love Plax. He’s a slutty bartender. The only question is how much he deteriorated physically in prison. If it’s anything like Michael Vick, he’ll be fine. The G-Men have a fine young receiving corps but nobody comes close to Plax. Everyone forgets how great he was in 2007 and 2008. He’s a nice tall target for Eli (who still throws a bit high) and he commands a double team. If he doesn’t get one, he’ll burn you. Anyone remember the 2007 NFC Title Game? If you have a chance to add him to your team, you have to do it. The detractors say he’ll be a distraction and the fan base is torn on Plax, but he didn’t do anything malicious to end up in jail and I think the media focus will still be more on the end of the lockout and the massive amount of player movement. The New York newspapers seem to care more about the Yankees and Jets anyway. I don’t think Plax returning will be that big of a story. If he puts on the blue and makes big plays, everything will be forgiven. The Giants also signed undrafted free agent linebacker and cancer survivor Mark Herzlich. It’s a nice story to give him a chance to play and the Giants linebackers are undermanned. He’s a tough son of a bitch too. If he can beat cancer, the Eagles don’t look so bad in comparison. I co-sign.
On the flip side of things, the Giants will be cutting two offensive line stalwarts, Shaun O’Hara and Rich Seubert, for salary cap relief. These two were a vital cog in the offense and rose from obscurity to help lead the Giants to the Title. Though both had injury problems last year and were getting older, O’Hara was a strong leader and Seubert fought through a horribly broken leg to return to the field and become a versatile player who could shift positions selflessly and skillfully. They will be sorely missed.
Rainman Suite 