Archive for the ‘the fans’ Category

The Giants Better Not Lose Monday

Posted: September 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in football, NFL, St. Louis Rams, the fans

The St. Louis Rams created a video teaching their fans how to cheer. It’s almost as embarrassing as the Miami Heat’s Fan Up campaign last year. The Rams’ video includes five classic rules such as “on third down…make some noise” and “leading up to kickoff, let’s slow clap it out.” They did, however, managed to leave a few out including:

Ram Rule #6: When the Rams score a touchdown, cheer
Ram Rule #7: If you need to urinate, go to the bathroom

The Rams won the Super Bowl like 10 years ago. It’s not like this is an expansion team or something. If your fans don’t know what to do during a game, then I’m sorry but you shouldn’t have a team. How long until that stadium in Los Angeles is built?


“Is it something to do with your hair!? Can your hair not be covered by a Yankees cap!?”

Michael LaPayower is an angry guy today. Not only did Mo Rivera blow a save in a 3-2 Yankees extra-inning loss last night, but he had to sit through several interminable New Era commercials featuring Alec Baldwin and John Krasinski. His problem isn’t that these commercials are superlame, it’s that Baldwin isn’t fanning up with some Yankee gear.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a fan, it’s that every person has their own way of showing their team pride. Some of us make music videos that parody songs sung by little girls. Others can sit at home and watch the game while discussing politics with the starlet you picked up in the Hamptons. It’s all good.

I know for a FACT that Alec Baldwin doesn’t wear a Yankees cap because he already has a tattoo of Babe Ruth’s face on his chest. How do you think he picked up Kim Basinger? If he ever wore a piece of Yankees memorabilia, he would explode from excessive swag. Now that’s what I call being a fan.

>In Defense of Philly

Posted: March 23, 2011 by Keith Stone in Philly sucks, the fans


My friend, Phanatic, took exception to my repeated jabs at her hometown of Philadelphia. She’s the classiest girl to come out of the City of Brotherly Love since this lady, so she wrote a response in crayon on the back of a Pizza Hut kids placemat. Despite all her typos, I transcribed it the best I could below:

There is a media conspiracy in this country against Philadelphia.  It’s designed to help all of the fans of other teams across the country feel better about their inadequacies.  Nothing else could explain how often and how cutthroat the jabs against Philly really are.  Are there drunk and disorderly assholes in New York, Boston and LA?  Of course.  Do you hear about them even half as often?  No.

There are positives to Philly you never hear about as well.  Case in point: the story about the country’s worst fans (and I’m sorry since when does GQ magazine have authority in the sports world?) was tweeted by friends of mine and made news throughout the country.  What you probably don’t know is that according to the Sports Loyalty Index just released, Philadelphia Phillies fans got top bidding.  Because we are loyal.  And smart.  And expect greatness.

Oh and one more thing – Santa Claus was drunk that day.  The other Santa couldn’t make it so they pulled a drunk asshole out of the stands to play Santa for the day.  You would have booed too.  Spread the gospel.

Phanatic has a point. Philly fans are loyal, but I still say a higher proportion of them go to games to start trouble than any other city. New York fans, like Charlie Sheen, are obsessed with winning and that’s why we’re better than Philadelphia. And DeSean Jackson can go fuck himself.

>Philly Fans Are Worst, Also Oxygen Is Good

Posted: March 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Philly sucks, the fans


GQ, the country’s leading sports magazine, named Philadelphia fans the worst in sports. It also named them the second worst fans in sports. More specifically, it named Eagles and Phillies fans first and second. The Suite also has Philly fans ranked first and second in ugliness, weight, and lack of intelligence. The real surprising thing about the poll is that Flyers fans weren’t ranked third. Those guys are assholes, but I guess if I went thirty-five years without a title, I’d be grouchy too. Other notables on the list were the Red Sox (sixth), Duke (eighth), and Cowboys (12th).