Posts Tagged ‘crime and punishment’

No, it’s not the title of his latest flick. Ron Jeremy was recruited last year to help put Canadian porn star and cannibal Luka Rocco Magnotta behind bars. Magnotta, who at that point was only killing kittens in online videos and hadn’t moved up to eating humans, was to be recruited to LA by Jeremy under the pretense of starring along side the prolific actor in an upcoming movie. Once there, the organizers of the scheme which included twin Playmates the Barbi Twins (naturally) were going to turn Magnotta in. Jeremy eventually got cold feet about the plan and decided not to participate. It may have been a good idea since, ya know, Magnotta turned out to be a fucking cannibal.

This may be the weirdest story of the year. It’s so weird I wouldn’t even believe it as the plot of one of Ron Jeremy’s movies. I think we may be able to make it work, though. In our film, a hard working porn star (Ron Jeremy as himself) successfully convinces a Canadian jewel thief (animal killer would ruin the mood—I’m thinking Tori Black for the role) to come out to LA to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a porn star herself. However, instead of turning her in, he falls in love with the starlet, leading to an emotional 4-way with the Barbi twins and eventually her climactic (in more ways than one) gangbang with the police officers (Lexington Steele and Mr. Marcus) that take her away. There won’t be any cannibalism but body parts will be consumed. It would sweep the AVN Awards.

Toronto Sun

Black History Month is at an end. Seemed kinda short. I wonder if they put it in February on purpose? As a black man myself (at heart), I have to say that this year was especially tough as Whitney Houston died, Viola Davis lost the Best Actress Oscar to Meryl Streep, two black teams were eliminated from The Challenge, and an Asian rolled the NBA. Things can only go up from here, brothers. And now, there’s only more question left to be answered…

Only In Tennessee

Posted: February 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in crime and punishment
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Let’s say you and your girl get into an argument. Maybe you go out with your buddies to blow off some steam. Maybe you tell her friends she’s a slut. Maybe you throw away all the clothes she left at your place. This genius went a little beyond that. He tried to run her over in his pickup truck. Luckily, she ran into a gas station convenience store and found refuge. But wait, there’s more! Our protagonist calmly managed to steal a car at a pump. However, his getaway didn’t go so well. Chicks, man.

Pimp Cop!

Posted: January 24, 2012 by Keith Stone in crime and punishment
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Looks like being a cop doesn’t pay the way it used to. New York City cop Monty Green has been charged with pimping out women by the NYPD after his name surfaced in connection with illegal activity. While prosecutors don’t have enough evidence to charge him of any crimes because his hookers are too scared to speak (he must be a good pimp), he is scheduled to meet with the police on February 14th to discuss the charges and whether or not he should hold onto his badge. The NYPD is really screwing with him by meeting on Valentine’s Day. It has to be his busiest day of the year.

Gotta give Monty credit for trying to eek out a living during the recession. If I had any money, I’d sign him for a TV holding deal right now. Don’t you think his story is the one thing that can bring NBC out of last place? I can see it now. Samuel L. Jackson will star as Pimp Cop with Kevin Hart as his best friend and assistant pimp and Meagan Good as a ho with a heart of gold. “Pimp Cop coming this fall on NBC Thursday after The Office.” Ratings!!!! Either that, or I’m sure some lame cable channel like A&E or Bravo can have him star in a reality show.

NY Daily News

The Top Mug Shots of 2011

Posted: January 10, 2012 by Keith Stone in crime and punishment
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The Smoking Gun does a great job exposing the antics of dumbass criminals. Here’s an amazing slideshow of its best mug shots of 2011 complete with a blushing bride, a great father, and J.Lo’s biggest fan. It’s as good a reason as any to stay out of trouble.