Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

How’s Things Going For the Jets?

Posted: January 6, 2012 by Keith Stone in NFL
Tags: , , , ,


Let’s go eat a goddamn snack!

So now the Jets are done for the year. The entire team is falling apart. Rex Ryan is crying in the locker room. Santonio Holmes is quitting in the middle of games. Bart Scott is flipping off cameramen. Darrelle Revis doesn’t want to talk, but the eighth string quarterback has a few things to say. The word on the street is that everybody on the Jets was playing for themselves and not the team. Should we be surprised? The team is full of castoffs. When things are going well, everyone is smiling, but when things go badly, it’s every man for themselves. There’s a reason they all got booted for their previous teams.

Rex comes out the worst in all of this. Apparently, this was all going on for weeks. How did he not know about any of it? Isn’t he like the cool coach that’s friends with all his players? And letting your offensive coordinator bench one of your only weapons during a season-saving drive doesn’t look too good. Yeah, you want to have the coordinators involved, but in the end Rex is responsible for the entire team. It doesn’t matter if he’s a defensive guy or not.

Then, he goes out and says everybody is coming back next year. What’s the point of that? You say, “We’re going to examine all of our options.” That’s it. Do you think any of your fans are happy Schottenheimer is coming back? What if Peyton Manning becomes available? I’m sure you’re not ruling him out, but there’s no reason to make the Sanchize confident he’s coming back. He was terrible in the second half of the season. He should be working like a maniac all offseason so he doesn’t get cut. You can say all you want about the back-to-back Championship Games but that means nothing. This is New York. After talking for all these years, Rex Ryan finally got tuned out by his players and the fans.

Call Me “Stone the Greek”

Posted: January 6, 2012 by Keith Stone in NFL
Tags: , ,

No, not because I think the black man was bred to be the better athlete. Because my preseason picks were so damn accurate. Let’s take a look back, shall we? The predicted records are in parenthesis.

AFC

East
1. New England Patriots (12-4) 13-3
2. New York Jets (9-7)* 8-8
3. Miami Dolphins (6-10) 6-10
4. Buffalo Bills (5-11) 6-10

Stone’s preseason take: The Pats won’t be as unstoppable as they were last year but the Jets will still struggle to score points. Expect them to lose one or two games they should win.

Stone’s postseason take: Pretty spot on. I forgot the part about Rex Ryan crying.

North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (13-3) 12-4*
2. Baltimore Ravens (10-6)* 12-4
3. Cleveland Browns (8-8) 4-12
4. Cincinnati Bengals (3-13) 9-7*

Stone’s preseason take: The Steelers bring it every year and the fact that they’ve been together for a while will help them after the lockout. The Browns should also improve as Colt McCoy continues to improve.

Stone’s postseason take: We all knew the Steelers and Ravens would be good, but who could have predicted that Howdy Doody would lead the Bengals to the playoffs?

South
1. Tennessee Titans (9-7) 9-7
2. Indianapolis Colts (8-8) 2-14
3. Houston Texans (8-8) 10-6
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-12) 5-11

Stone’s preseason take: UPSET ALERT! With so much flux in the division, why go against the team with an absolute beast at running back and a veteran quarterback that’s been to the Super Bowl before? If Matt Hasselbeck stays healthy, that is.

Stone’s postseason take: Nailed the Titans even with Chris Johnson holding out the entire season. What’s that? He didn’t hold out? Could’ve fooled me.

West
1. San Diego Chargers (12-4) 8-8
2. Kansas City Chiefs (7-9) 7-9
3. Oakland Raiders (7-9) 8-8
4. Denver Broncos (6-10) 8-8

Stone’s preseason take: The Chargers are the best team in the division and should win if they don’t get off to one of their patented slow starts.

Stone’s postseason take: TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NFC

East
1. New York Giants (11-5)  9-7
2. Dream Team (10-6)* 8-8
3. Dallas Cowboys (9-7)* 8-8
4. Washington Redskins (6-10) 5-11

Stone’s preseason take: This is a total homer pick but the Giants aren’t going to be as bad as everyone thinks. The Cowboys will also be vastly improved. Let’s see Michael Vick stay healthy.

Stone’s postseason take: I didn’t take into account that the Giants, Dream Team, and Cowboys would all blow easily winnable games, but who else do you know that had the Giants?

North
1. Green Bay Packers (12-4) 15-1
2. Minnesota Vikings (8-8) 3-13
3. Chicago Bears (7-9) 8-8
4. Detroit Lions (6-10) 10-6*

Stone’s preseason take: Aaron Rodgers and the Champs still have that swagger and won’t go down easily. The Vikings will be more stable with a competent coach. Don’t forget about that kid Adrian Peterson. He’s pretty good. The Lions have been supposed to be good for like three years now.

Stone’s postseason take: What was I thinking with the Vikings? I feel like I hooked up with a fat chick. Or this guy.

South
1. New Orleans Saints (12-4) 13-3
2. Atlanta Falcons (9-7) 10-6*
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-9) 4-12
4. Carolina Panthers (5-11) 6-10

Stone’s preseason take: The Falcons struggled at the end of last season and the playoffs, failing to prove they belong among the game’s elite. The Saints are always great and there’s no reason to believe that’s changed. The Bucs caught lightning in a bottle last year but teams will be better prepared for Josh Freeman this year.

Stone’s postseason take: Like Montell Jordan would say, this is how we do it.

West
1. San Francisco 49ers (9-7) 13-3
2. St. Louis Rams (7-9) 2-14
3. Seattle Seahawks (6-10) 7-9
4. Arizona Cardinals (5-11) 8-8

Stone’s preseason take: The Rams are everybody’s favorites but they have an extremely difficult schedule to start the season. The Niners finally have a non-insane coach, which should help, and some weapons but obviously Alex Smith is still a liability. Why wouldn’t they go after David Gerrard? To Seahawks and Cardinals fans, I will hold you in my prayers.

Stone’s postseason take: I was four games off, but I still think the 49ers were my best pick. I knew the defense would thrive with a little stability. However, I did not know that the Rams would turn into a M*A*S*H unit and Alex Smith would be competent. To Seahawks and Cardinals fans, I still hold you in my prayers.

WEEK 83 – Finishing

Posted: January 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in NFL
Tags: , , , ,

Giants 31, Cowboys 14

With a three-touchdown lead, the Giants’ let their heated rival came down the field and score. Then, it happened again. With one stop, the Giants would be NFC East Champs. But they couldn’t. The 38-31 collapse last year to the Eagles was a crushing blow to the players, fans, and entire franchise. All season, the Giants have been preaching a mantra of finishing the game. Don’t let your opponent back in it. It was an up-and-down year. Unpredictable.  Sometimes the Giants looked like they had learned their lesson, other times it seemed like they were barely paying attention. After a 6-2 start, finishing would be more important than ever. That brought us to last night.

With a three-touchdown lead, the Giants’ let their heated rival came down the field and score. Then, it happened again. With one stop, the Giants would be NFC East Champs. They finally got that stop. The entire team played at another level last night. It’s hard to single out a single player, but let’s try. You have to start with Victor Cruz who got the salsa party started. More importantly, it was his huge third down catch when the Giants were on the ropes that gave them breathing room. Michael Boley was huge flying over the line of scrimmage to stop Tony Romo on fourth-and-1 in the red zone. Osi Umenyiora played valiantly through pain and had a big impact on the game with two sacks. Don’t forget about the other two heads on the Hydra, Justin Tuck and JPP. Romo was under pressure all night and the Cowboys’ running game never got going. David Baas provided his best protection all year in the middle of the offensive line. Even guys like Bear Pascoe and Devin Thomas played important roles in the victory. It was the most complete game of the season and solidifies the fact that the Giants are the best team in the NFC East and deserve to be in the playoffs.

Every year, it happens. A team gets hot right before the playoffs and makes a run at the Super Bowl. The Giants are as healthy as they’ve been all season and have the momentum of beating the Jets and Cowboys. I wouldn’t bet against them. Let’s see how they finish.

WEEK 17 Picks: Win or Go Home?

Posted: December 31, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, football, NFL

WEEK 17 is always the most impossible week to make picks. The NFL did a good job making every team play a divisional rival and making sure teams are playing at the same time as other squads close to them in the standings. Still, does anyone know how much the Texans are going to bring with the 3-seed locked up? What about the Packers? Is Aaron Rodgers going to be worrying more about the Lions or photobombing the captains’ picture? Even teams like the Dream Team. They’re really playing well but a loss would ensure a decent draft pick and easier schedule. You would think these guys would have enough pride to give it all they’ve got, but I’d be thinking about hitting the links too if I was on a 5-10 team. Gamble at your own risk. Picks!

REDSKINS AT DREAM TEAM (-8.5)
Stone: Dream Team
Finally showing their true potential.

Slumdeezy: Dream Team

Rory: Redskins

DP Animal: Redskins

Phanatic: Dream Team
Last time to show their Dream Team potential now that it’s too late.

49ERS (-10.5) AT RAMS
Stone: 49ers
The Rams are the worst team in the NFL. It would be a bummer if they didn’t get the #1 pick.

Slumdeezy: Rams

Rory: 49ers

DP Animal: 49ers

Phanatic: Rams

(more…)

When the Giants won the 2007 NFC Title, I was so excited I jumped on top of a table in my apartment. I’m possibly the least athletic person alive so there was serious threat of injury. I could have hurt my knee or faceplanted but I was so excited I didn’t care. I like to think it was the same situation when a 21-year-old guy in Detroit was killed when he ran in front of a bus after the Lions clinched their first playoff spot in 12 years with their 38-10 win over the Chargers on Sunday.

I don’t want to make light of anyone’s death but that’s some way to go out, huh? You know the Lions were bad when their fans are so excited about making the playoffs that they’re completely disregarding their own safety. Personally, I would have waited until they advanced to the second round before I ran in front of a bus, though. Unless it was the Booty Bus.

Detroit Free Press

WEEK 82 – Kings of New York

Posted: December 25, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, football, Giants, Jets, NFL

Giants 29, Jets 14

The Giants do not make anything easy, but I’ll take it. This game wasn’t so much about the bragging rights but making it to WEEK 17. With that said, SUCK IT REX YOU DISRESPECTFUL FAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!! Could this game have gone any worse for the Jets? They played about just as well as the Giants but looking at the final score, you wouldn’t have thought it was close. The Giants made all the big plays and for all his bluster, Rex Ryan came out with a horrible game plan. Sanchez wasn’t doing anything so why have him throw when you’re down by 3? He was really, really bad. I catch parts of Jets games sometimes and I know he sucks, but he was horrible. Statistically, Eli was about even but all anyone is going to talk about is that 99-yard TD, which was pretty much all Victor Cruz. And how about Victor Cruz? What did the Jets ever do to him? He went for 3 TD’s against them in the preseason last year and now the longest pass play in Giants’ history. Cruz has to be the MVP of the season, right? He came out of nowhere to solidify the passing game and has made big plays in big spots all season. And to think, he was on his mom’s health insurance during the lockout to save money. I don’t think he’s going to have to worry about that anymore.

Again, I wasn’t a huge fan of Gilbride’s playcalling. Hakeem Nicks was stuck on Pass Interference Island and the Jets secondary shut down the other receivers for the most part, so why not run the ball more? Also, Bradshaw and Jacobs need to run straight ahead. When they go to the outside, it seems like they’re always stopped before the line of scrimmage. If they run into the line, at least they’ll pick up a few yards. Of course, after recovering that fumble in the end zone to seemingly extinguish the Jets’ chances, a pass play was inexplicably called that was promptly intercepted. The offensive line looked shaky at first but held together. This Baas situation is tricky. I feel like they play better without him but he was the big free agent signing in the offseason. I don’t know if he sucks or is just trying to play through injury but I hope he has a short leash next week.

See kids, the moral of the story is when you talk shit, you might fall face first in a pile of it. The Jets are a very good team. Their real downfall is Sanchez. If they had a somewhat competent quarterback (think Matt Ryan), they should be competing for the 1-seed in the AFC. They had a chance to make a game-winning drive from the 50-yard line and they couldn’t even get a first down. Why does their coach publicly guarantee a Super Bowl victory seemingly every time he opens his fat mouth?

Here’s the secret, Rex: it only makes the other teams want to beat you more. The added pressure isn’t a good thing for a young QB that likes to throw the ball when the receivers aren’t looking. Now the entire city is taking shots at you, especially our own loudmouth, Brandon Jacobs, and there’s nothing you could do about it. You’re not the headline, you’re the punchline. The Jets are on the way, way outside looking in and you’re still talking your bluster, saying you’d play the Giants anytime, any place. You’ll have your shot in 2015, big boy. Giants Stadium.

Best of 2011: Same Old Quarterback

Posted: December 25, 2011 by Keith Stone in Best of 2011, football, Jets, NFL, Sanchize

It’s the end of the year so let’s look back at some of the best moments in The Suite (and give Stone a break). In honor of Mark Sanchez’s epic stinkbomb against the Giants, here’s a look at the quarterback from a skeptical Jets fan. This was originally published on November 19 by my prophetic buddy Ben after a tough Jets loss to the Broncos.

Football Fans, New Yorkers, and Jets Fans! hear me for my
cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me
for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and
awake your senses, that you may the better judge.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Sanchez’s, to him I say, that Ben’s love for Sanchez
was no less than his. If then that friend demand
why Ben rose against Sanchez, this is my answer:
–Not that I loved Sanchez less, but that I loved
the Jets more. Had you rather Sanchez the franchise and
die without having tasted Super Bowl glory, than Sanchez gone, and we live
with the hope of championships? As Sanchez loved Jets fans, I weep for him;
as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was
talented, I honour him: but, as he was an awful NFL quarterback, we fans slew him.
There is tears for his love; joy for his
fortune; honour for his efforts; and death for his lack of accuracy and field sense.
Who is here so base that would be a
bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be a Jets fan? If
any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so
vile that will not love his team? If any, speak;
for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

—Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, with slight edits for the situation

I went to bed at 2 AM Thursday night.

I didn’t intend to do that. But when the Jets lost night, I cursed, I punched the air and I think I freaked out my sweet and thankfully very understanding girlfriend. I called an audible and decided it was best not to go to bed at that moment. I was too angry.

It was an anger borne out of frustration. It was an anger borne out confusion. And in the end, it was anger borne out of a realization, the realization that the Jets are never going to be more than a decent team with Mark Sanchez at quarterback.

Coach bravado can only get you so far when you can’t throw five yard slant when and where it should be.

For a brief moment, I felt jealous of Broncos fans. Tim Tebow is a terrible NFL quarterback. He will almost certainly always be a terrible NFL quarterback. He can’t throw. He can’t read pass coverages. But right now, at least there’s always the small chance that he’s something more.

Then I pitied them, because they, like us Jets fans were, will be suckered in by the brief but exciting moments moments of glory.  When a QB leads your team back from the brink, it’s only natural to forget that the QB put your team there by bad turnovers, or in Tebow’s case, such inept play that the Broncos only had two sustained drives on the evening- and only came away with three points in four drives starting in Jets territory.

But the heroic moments do stop coming because eventually the other parts of the team covering up for the three quarters of bad play can’t hold back the deluge any more. And when that flood comes, you realize that you’ve spent three years watching the suck with no hope that it’s going to change any time soon.

There’s no worse feeling in the world than knowing the guy you’re playing will never be the franchise quarterback. When that happens, anyone looks better. Tebow. David Garrard, who couldn’t cut it in Jacksonville and who has a broken back. Tyler Thigpen- if Tebow can have the option, why not Thigpen the pistol? Greg McElroy. Yeah, he’s on IR and yeah, he has a weaker arm than Chad Pennington did after two shoulder surgeries. But we don’t know for certain he can’t be like Tom Brady.

Not like Sanchez. We now know he’s just like all the rest of them, the rest of those maligned QBs who donned the Jets’ green.

It’s an ugly history. Though it didn’t start with Joe Namath, it might as well have. And that must have been great for four years. Unfortunately it didn’t end well with him, nor did it ever for the men who followed.

But at least for four years, Broadway Joe was special. Richard Todd was never anything special, though he did get to an AFC Championship game, which the Jets lost to the Dolphins. Ken O’Brien was special, in 1985. Then he remembered what team he played for.

Browning Nagle never forgot.

Boomer Esiason and Neil O’Donnell were attempts to take someone else’s star and make them your own. But not all “stars” are created equal. Our solar system couldn’t be maintained with a red dwarf. Neither could the Jets offense, and that was before Bruce Smith knocked Esiason out for the season.

There was Glenn Foley and then there was Vinny Testaverde, who had the greatest year a Jets quarterback had since Kenny O. There was another AFC Championship game. But the Broncos wounded the dreams then and Week 1 of 1999 killed it. Not even the Tuna could bring the Jets to the promised land. Bill Belichick couldn’t even be bothered. For that matter, neither could Peyton Manning.

Stop for a second. The Jets could have had Peyton Manning, if he had declared early for the draft in 1997. Parcells promised to take him first overall if he came out. They could have had Bill Belichick as their head coach. He was the Grover Cleveland of Jets coaches, taking the reigns for brief periods on two non-consecutive occasions. The greatest quarterback and the greatest coach. Together?

Instead we were left with something that was just sad.

There was Chad Pennington, the thinking man’s quarterback, paired with Herm Edwards, who was not the thinking man’s coach. Pennington might have been one of the smartest men in football, but he never developed the cybernetics necessary to keep his rotator cuff healthy. It was a tragedy. But I bet he can call a better game than Brian Schottenheimer. In fact, I’m pretty sure his 2006 season is the only reason anyone thinks Schotty is a competent coordinator.

What about Kellen Clemens you ask?

He was never in any condition to play.

Of course there was the Brett Favre fun bag. Think Esiason or O’Donnell, with the media hype turned up by a million. The only joy to come out of that trainwreck was seeing Pennington beat Favre on the last day of the season. Chadwick will never be anyone’s franchise ever again, but at least he sent Favre on his miserable way.

Which brings us to Mark Sanchez, no longer worthy of “The Sanchez” moniker. We all know the background. We know the success.

But the success was never his. In the past Jets quarterbacks who had their brief moments have been the cause of that moment. Pennington was amazing in 2002. Vinny was never better than 1998. And Ken O’Brien wasn’t Marino in 1985, but he was better than John Elway or Jim Kelly.

Yet Sanchez has never been that. He’s never been the guy. We wanted him to be. We wanted to believe he could be. It was the one place the Jets could get better. Their defense was already great. Revis Island is still a place receivers fear being stranded.

Yet they could be no better. In fact they would get worse as the defense aged. Only Sanchez could change the course by becoming the franchise quarterback. He beat Brady in New England in January. If he did that, was it really too much to ask?

But then, was it too much to ask that 1985 not be the high water mark of O’Brien’s career? Or was it too much to ask Testaverde to actually learn that throwing the ball into triple coverage was a bad thing? And was it really too much to ask that Pennington’s shoulder not be held together by toilet paper?

Yes, yes it was.

Around 1 AM, after killing my brain with games of solitaire, I couldn’t even bring myself to play NCAA Football, I came to the sad realization that I was angry because I thought I had left this behind. The Jets were supposed to be different. Rex Ryan changed the culture they said. And he did. He had the players believing. He had the fans believing. There would be hiccups. But they would be champions. Eventually.

Last year after the Patriots loss, I was disappointed. I didn’t necessarily think they’d make the AFC Championship game- but the Jets were changing. So in 2011, after beating the Patriots in the playoffs, after coming so close to storming back against the Steelers, I was ready to believe.

But by 1:30 AM Thursday night, that belief was shattered. It really was the same old Jets. The team that will piss away opportunities against terrible opponents. That will lose to shit bag quarterbacks because they’ve got a shit bag of their own. The team that, at it’s finest, will build you up just to tear you down. The team that just isn’t winning a championship this year.

That last one isn’t the end of the world. I dealt with that last year and the year before.

The team isn’t winning a championship next year or the year after that either.

That’s something I didn’t want to remember how to feel. That’s something I hoped we had moved past. But why would this end any differently, when the dreams of championships as a Jets fan are always brief? They’re also vivid and memorable, but that just makes it all the worse.

By 2 AM, two things had become perfectly clear. One Mark Sanchez is no more a franchise quarterback than Todd, Pat Ryan, O’Brien, Nagle, Esiason, Bubby Brister, O’Donnell, Frank Reich, Foley, Testaverde, Rick Mirer, Ray Lucas, Pennington, Patrick Ramsey, Brooks Bollinger, Clemens or Favre.

The second thing I had come to grips with was the Jets aren’t winning the Super Bowl any time soon.

And I fell asleep.

WEEK 16 Picks: Eve of Annihilation

Posted: December 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, football, Happy Holidays, NFL

I hope nobody made any bets last week, especially using our picks. When Phanatic goes 12-4, you know it’s a weird week. The Giants, Jets, and Ravens games were especially vexing. All three teams are in prime position for a playoff spot and nobody came to play. At least the Jets and Ravens were playing contenders. The Deadskins earned their nickname for a reason. As much as you feel confident about a pick, like I did with the Giants over the Skins, you never know when you’re going to get a lump of coal in your stocking. You can only be so lucky. Let’s hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks!

RAIDERS AT CHIEFS (-2.5)
Stone: Chiefs
It’d only be right.

Slumdeezy: Raiders

Rory: Raiders
Who can figure out this division anymore?  I’ll just take the points.

DP Animal: Raiders

Phanatic: Raiders

BRONCOS (-2.5) AT BILLS
Stone: Broncos
Remember when the Bills were good all those many, many days ago?

Slumdeezy: Broncos

Rory: Broncos
TEBOW!

DP Animal: Broncos

Phanatic: Broncos

(more…)

Talk Is Cheap

Posted: December 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in football, Giants, Jets, Joe Namath, NFL


After both teams turned in pathetic performances last week, you’d figure the Giants and the Jets wouldn’t worry too much about the trash talking and concentrate on what’s going down on the field. For the most part, that’s been true. There’s been a little, “We’re classier,” “Our fans are better,” “Revis is overrated,” “I can’t wait to shoot my former team in the leg” talk but it’s been pretty subdued.

The only thing that bothers me is that Joe Namath got involved and is telling everyone the Jets are going to win 27-16. What does Joe Namath have to do with the 2011 Jets? Shut up, Joe. Shouldn’t you be in rehab or embarrassing yourself on national television? Rex Ryan is the biggest loudmouth of them all and even he’s sick of your yapping. You don’t see Frank Gifford talking about the Giants-Jets game. He’s busy slapping around Kathy Lee. The fact of the matter is that this game is important because both teams are on the brink of missing the playoffs. I couldn’t care less about bragging rights. Talk is cheap. Play the game.

NY Daily News

Oh, NFL Network, you were so close to having a good game tonight. At the beginning of the season, it looked like the AFC South would come down to this one. Even as of a few weeks ago, it seemed like the Texans were the team to beat in the AFC and tonight would be their coming out party. A few injuries later, and it’s Orlovsky! Yates! Thursday Night Football! Here’s our picks.

TEXANS (-5.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Colts
Slumdeezy: Texans
Rory: Texans
DP Animal: Texans
Phanatic: Texans

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 124-94
Rory: 121-97
Slumdeezy: 113-105
DP Animal: 106-112
Phanatic: 106-112