Archive for the ‘wrestling’ Category

Wrestling Video of the Week: Hogan-Ultimate Warrior Contract Signing

Posted: September 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in Hulk Hogan, Slobberknocker, Ultimate Warrior, videos, wrestling, WWF
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“The positive light of the training, the prayers, and the vitamins will prove at Wrestlemania VI that Hulkamania is still the strongest force in the universe.”

Remember the gold old days? When contract signings were done in board rooms instead of in the middle of the ring and ended with a face-off instead of somebody getting hit with the table? WWF President Jack Tunney masterfully presided over the contract signing for the main event at Wrestlemania VI between Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. It’s a good thing both parties got dressed up for the occasion and had their lawyers take a look at the contract beforehand. I especially like Warrior’s leather jacket and face paint ensemble. Could there be a worse job in the world than being his lawyer? I don’t think so.

Wrestling Video of the Week: Count Him, Dammit!

Posted: September 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in Good Old JR, Mick Foley, Slobberknocker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, videos, wrestling, WWF
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This is the height of wrestling. You start with the WWF’s preeminent personality, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Throw in a little Mick Foley doing his Dude Love thing with a giant stain on his ass. The Undertaker is inexplicably standing at ringside doing nothing until he slams some 80-year-old dudes through the announce tables (ay caramba). Vince McMahon is jacked up on ‘roids as the referee, yet he refuses to give Stone Cold the three-count. And the icing on the cake, as always, is Jim Ross’s impassioned play-by-play. It’s not wrestling if J.R. isn’t calling things. I wish he announced my life:

“Keith Stone crossing the street. AND HE WAS ALMOST HIT BY A BIKE! GOOD LORD, WHAT WAS HE THINKING!? BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!”

Let’s take a look out how ludicrous and awesome the ending is. First, the Dudester hits McMahon in the face with a steel chair even though they’re allies. A sanctioned referee enters the ring to fill in for McMahon and is interfered with by McMahon’s crony, Pat Patterson. Then, Patterson and Gerald Brisco, who theoretically have about as much authority as me trying to call a foul on LeBron James from the crowd, try to count the pin.

That doesn’t even come close to the most ridiculous part of it all. When the Undertaker says adios to the stooges, Stone Cold earns the victory by using McMahon’s own unconscious hand for the 1-2-3. Can you imagine if the Giants scored six points because Brandon Jacobs knocked out Ed Hochuli and raised his arms to signal a touchdown? Oh, I love wrestling.

Trailer Park: Inside Out

Posted: September 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in Inside Out, Trailer Park, Triple H, videos, wrestling, WWF
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Triple H and Michael Rapaport playing brothers who get wrapped up in a robbery gone wrong? Sign me up! Just check out the star power in this one. Parker Posey! Bruce Dern! It’s like the Philadelphia Eagles of movies. Triple H should go ahead and quit as COO of the WWF and move into movies full-time. I don’t get why CM Punk always makes fun of his acting. He’s like Bobby DeNiro and Lou Ferrigno wrapped up into one.

Wrestling Video of the Week: The Miz Wins the WWF Title

Posted: August 26, 2011 by Keith Stone in Challenge Week, Slobberknocker, The Miz, videos, wrestling, WWF
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Before he was WWF Champion The Miz, he was Challenge Champion Mike Mizanin, winner of Battle of the Seasons and The Inferno II. Who would have thought that he would go on to be in the main event at WrestleMania? It still pales in comparison to competing against Jeremy in the candle-holding Inferno.

Wrestling Video of the Week: Great Ovation For RoboCop

Posted: August 21, 2011 by Keith Stone in Robocop, Slobberknocker, videos, WCW, wrestling
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I have no idea what’s going on here. I would say RoboCop’s stint in WCW was the most bizarre ever, but I don’t want to disrespect David Arquette and Jay Leno. RoboCop might not even be the best part of this video. First, you have Sid in a tuxedo for some reason, which is great. Kudos to Sid for making the Wrestling Video of the Week for two weeks in a row. But how about a young JR with some solid play-by-play throughout the whole escapade? I felt Sting’s pain as he was trapped in the cage but when his friend RoboCop rescued him, my soul smiled. That’s all good old JR.

Wrestling Video of the Week: Ted DiBiase Basketball

Posted: August 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in Slobberknocker, Ted DiBiase, videos, wrestling, WWF
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The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase is a generous guy. He even offered to give this young man $500 if he could dribble a basketball 15 times. Sounds easy enough until DiBiase kicks the ball away. The poor kid looks so disappointed. Even more disappointed is probably his mom in the background. Could’ve bought a lot of groceries with that money. Also, I could never tell if having Virgil as a manservant was racist. Anybody know?

Wrestling Video of the Week: Mr. McMahon Wins the Royal Rumble

Posted: July 31, 2011 by Keith Stone in Slobberknocker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, videos, Vince McMahon, wrestling, WWF
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Vince McMahon spent weeks training for the 1999 Royal Rumble. After being beaten all over the Arrowhead Pond including the bathroom, yes the bathroom, Mr. McMahon emerged at the announce table. When his nemesis Stone Cold Steve Austin was left standing as the final competitor, it was McMahon vs. Austin for the umpteenth time but Mr. McMahon had the Corporate Champion on his side.

Wrestling Video of the Week: Punk Wins

Posted: July 21, 2011 by Keith Stone in CM Punk, Slobberknocker, videos, wrestling, WWF
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CM Punk beat John Cena this Sunday to win the WWF Title as he rode out into the sunset. I’m not sure if he’s coming back but for the past month Punk has made wrestling more compelling than it’s been for a while. Here he is winning his first Title, as Mr. Money in the Bank cashed in his opportunity right after Edge took a beating from Batista.

Wrestling Video of the Week: The Rock Responds

Posted: July 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in John Cena, Slobberknocker, The Rock, videos, wrestling, WWF
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John Cena has been taking shots at his WrestleMania XXVIII opponent The Rock over the past couple of weeks. Well, the Rock noticed and released a video in which he tore Cena to shreds for everything from being a hypocrite to having lame fans. It’s classic Rock. Nobody can incorporate “bloated transvestite Wonder Woman” into a rant better than he can. It also looks like he’s coming back to Madison Square Garden, where he had his first match, for Survivor Series. This feud is really getting personal. As Jim Ross would say, “Business is about to start picking up.”

Wrestling Video of the Week: Through the Barber Shop Window

Posted: July 7, 2011 by Keith Stone in Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels, Slobberknocker, The Rockers, videos, wrestling, WWF
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I just got a haircut so this video seems appropriate. There was some tension between the Rockers so they went on Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s Barber Shop to talk things out (by the way, the barber pole microphone is fabulous—Bob Barker must’ve been so jealous). It seemed like things were resolved but a superkick later, it was all over for the legendary tag team and Shawn Michaels sent Marty Jannetty on a trip through the barber shop window.

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