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Ever want to see a train wreck? Deadspin has an amazing video of one. You feel so bad but you can’t help not laughing and watching to the end. I have no idea how the third kid kept a straight face. Enjoy!
>This Is How Marv Albert Got His Start
Posted: March 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in media, train wreck, TV0
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The Real World returned to Las Vegas and from the looks of the first episode, it is going to be a wild season. MTV did a great job casting this one with a lot of compelling and combustible personalities.
According to Wikipedia, six of the seven cast members come from childhoods marred with drugs and alcoholism, while the seventh had “past conflicts with her mother.” That’s a great start right there. The season has just begun but the seeds are already planted for lots of juicy storylines.
Nany’s had the same boyfriend for six years but let’s just say he doesn’t seem like the talkative type. She likes bad boys and surprisingly, Adam is a bad boy and they are immediately attracted to each other. Adam tells her this, but when she rebuffs him he has no problem bringing two girls back home to the hot tub. Nany counters by complaining to rest of the roommates. A lot. And it’s on like Donkey Kong. I can see this ending up in one of two ways: either Adam keeps hooking up with girls and Nany eventually breaks down or Nany spends the entire season complaining and ruins the show. I hope it’s the former.
Michael is the innocent roommate. He went to a Catholic school and doesn’t have much luck with the ladies. However, he shows a willingness to change and act more like his roommates. He brings two girls home back from the club and promptly reads to them from his prayer book in the best moment of the first episode. At this point, I yelled at my TV like I was a black person watching a horror movie. NOOOOOOO! When the kid finishes his prayer, one of the girls simply says, “Can we go bowling?” And yes, they have a bowling alley in their pad. Fucking sweet. Michael caps the night by trying to kiss one of the girls and is flat out denied while the girl laughs in his face. Brutal but I see a lot of potential.
Heather is an adorable, tiny blonde girl from New Jersey that was designed to break hearts. I say she has slut written all over her. The frequently shirtless Dustin is an All-American boy who takes a liking to Heather but has a bit of reluctance hooking up with a roommate. He eventually gives in, so it looks like no more bringing girls home for him. Idiot. Dustin also has a deep-dark secret. He was on a gay webshow where he naked but swears he never had sex. I call bullshit. Can’t wait for Episode 6 when one of the producers leaves the website open on the gang’s computer.
Rounding out the cast, Leroy is the gregarious roommate. A good looking, smooth guy, he’s going to fly under the radar but will score the most pussy and be the catalyst for the most fun. Also, a sure bet to be on The Challenge. And last and least, Naomi is the street smart roommate that we will forget existed for episodes at a time. The other roommates will likely turn to her for advice.
It was a really strong start to the season. The roommates are likable, interesting, and willing to have fun, and Vegas is the ideal locale for debauchery. I foresee a lot of drama but also laughs. And I’m never going to go against girls in their underwear in a hot tub. Real World is a breath of fresh air from the growing staleness of Ronnie Loves Sammi. Excuse me, I mean Jersey Shore. Viewers and TJ Lavin has a lot to look forward to.
3 shots out of 4
>Charlie Sheen Tweet of the Day 3/11/11
Posted: March 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in Chaz Sheen, Twitter>
Nice to see Charlie is thinking about the tragedy in Japan.
Curveball; Warlock edict; pain & devastation in Japan demands us all to dig deep & LOVE THEM VIOLENTLY Dogspeed my cadres of the Far East! c
>Mexican Man Has 82 Julia Roberts Tattoos
Posted: March 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in Julia Roberts, ridiculous>
Miljenko Bukovic loved Erin Brockovich so much that he got Julia Roberts’s face tattooed on his body. Then, he did it 81 more times. Bukovic has spent nearly $81,000 for his ink. I didn’t realize that Mexicans had $81,000 between them. Nice job showing his fandom but still not as impressive as my 83 Eli Manning tattoos.
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There’s been a lot of negative publicity about Tiki Barber’s comeback, but people forget one thing. On the football field, he was an absolute beast. Tiki’s never been my favorite player but there were countless times that he carried the Giants on his back. In his final regular season game, in a game the Giants needed to win to make the playoffs, he rushed for 234 yards and 3 touchdowns. Look at those numbers. Tiki Barber came through when the team needed him the most. That’s what winners do.
If Derek Jeter hit a home run to tie a game in the bottom of the 9th and then another one in extras to send the Yanks to the playoffs, it would be the stuff of legend. The fans and media would go gaga. That’s essentially what Tiki did. It wasn’t Willis Reed, Mark Messier, or Joe Namath, but it was badass. He just wasn’t a likable player. I’m not going to deny that Tiki has his flaws. He’s in the A-Rod Zone. He tries too hard and comes off as not genuine, but that shouldn’t detract from his on-field accomplishments like too many critics let it.
Tiki might not be a good person. He dumped his pregnant wife for a 23-year-old chick. It’s shitty any way you look at it. He announced his retirement during the season and it was a huge distraction for a team that was supposed to be competing for the Title and then dumped on Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning the following year on TV. Tiki’s burned his bridges with most Giants fans, but you have to give him credit for doing things his own way (minus the infidelity). He knew he was leaving so he announced it and he was trying to be an objective analyst. Doesn’t mean you have to like it. I didn’t.
Tiki is an all-time great Giant and football player no matter what. He had over 15,000 all-purpose yards, is the franchise’s leading rusher, and led the team to a Super Bowl. Tiki was originally expected to be a third-down back. He exceeded expectations tenfold but all anyone wants to talk about is his personality and failed TV career. It’s unfair.
And then he announced his comeback. It’s a little hypocritical. Tiki left the game in his absolute prime. His last game was his best but he said he wanted to be healthy for his family. Now, he’s almost 36 so why would he risk it? Does he need the money for alimony? Maybe. People are allowed to change their minds, though. I used to not like sushi and now I like it. Tiki has earned the right to come back. It’s not going to be with the Giants but I hope he doesn’t sign with the Jets. He is certainly a polarizing figure, but when I think about Tiki Barber, the only image I have is him cradling the ball against his bicep, making Redskins miss, and soaring towards the end zone. Don’t count him out.
>Charlie Sheen Tweet of the Day 3/10/11
Posted: March 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in Chaz Sheen, Twitter>
You know who’s crazier than Charlie Sheen? The guy who was arrested for stalking Charlie Sheen. Contrary to initial reports, it wasn’t me.
#fastball; the LAPD were AWESOME. Absolute pros! they can protect and serve this Warlock anytime!!! c
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Does anybody watch Sheen’s Corner? It needs more porn stars.
Fastball; Thank you all for tuning in on an historic and victorious evening..! We did in fact, “Build the Perfect Torpedo.” c
>This Is Why You Go Home With the Slutty Bartender
Posted: March 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in Knicks, Melo>
Knicks and Grizzlies tied at 108. Ten seconds left. Who does the ball go to?
>Taryn Terrell: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
Posted: March 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Taryn Terrell>
Taryn Terrell was known as Tiffany in the WWF. She was released for getting involved in a domestic violence case with her husband Drew McIntyre but I like to think it was for the best. Now she has more time to show her ass in such classy publications as Playboy’s Big Boobs and Hot Buns. She also dated Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. At least we know he’s been productive in the past 15 years. It’s not usual. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
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The Knicks are playing great now. They’re coming off a 22-point pasting of the Jazz and have gone 5-3 since acquiring slutty bartender Carmelo Anthony (5-1 not counting the unstoppable Cavs) including impressive wins over the Heat and Hornets. However, the most important player on the Knicks roster isn’t Melo or Amar’e Stoudemire. It’s Toney Douglas.
OK, that’s an exaggeration. If Amar’e pokes himself in the eye while he’s knotting one of his designer bow ties, then the Knicks are fucked. Stat and Melo give the Knicks consistent production between them: lots of scoring and some defense and rebounding. Landry Fields is going to make some shots and hit the boards. Ronny Turiaf is going to do the dirty work and look confused every time he touches the ball. Chauncey Big Shot is going to distribute the ball, provide leadership, and hit the big shots. Down the roster, the range of possibilities for every player is fairly standard, but Toney Douglas is the biggest X-factor on the team and accordingly his output plays an unfairly large role in the team’s success.
Toney Douglas had a decent first year backing up the immortal Chris Duhon. He was a defensive specialist but when the ball was in his hands, it was a bit nerve-wracking. Mainly it was the 3-point shooting. He shot almost 39% last year but it dipped to 35.6% this year and he got a lot of open looks from teams double-teaming Amar’e. With Ray Felton playing well and his shot off, Douglas’s playing time went down in the early part of the season but he had his moments. He scored 30 points and was easily the star in a big national win over the Bulls and Derrick Rose.
With Big Shot out for the past few games, Douglas has had time to shine. He shut down Chris Paul and scored 24 points (4-6 3P) against the Hornets and went for 20 against the Jazz (5-7 3P). The Knicks are 7-3 when Douglas scores 15 points including wins in the last four occurrences. He continues to play tenacious defense on a team where it is sorely lacking. Jameer Nelson killed the Knicks last week. He and Derrick Rose loom as potential first-round playoff opponents.
If Douglas can contribute 20-25 solid minutes a game, he makes all the difference. He has been playing with poise recently and having Big Shot as a mentor helps a lot. Douglas has to be able to stay on the court and continue to show that he can play with consistency when Big Shot returns. He needs to lead the team on defense, be assertive on offense, and hit the open 3 when his number is called. His energy and athleticism will inspire the older guys to get some floor burn, but he has to be productive on both sides of the court. Douglas is not going to get a ton of minutes in crunch time, but he will play a larger role on the 2010-2011 New York Knickerbockers than anybody realizes.
Rainman Suite 