WEEK 79 – How Gilbride Got His Groove Back

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, football, Giants, NFL

Packers 38, Giants 35

I don’t want to do the whole “I told you so” thing, but I’ve been saying all year that the Giants need to stop being so conservative and take some chances on both offense and defense. They finally did, and I thought outplayed the Packers and should have won. The refs blew the call on the Greg Jennings touchdown. It was an abysmal call and the four extra points were the difference in the game.

Eli is a great quarterback. He’s not perfect. He still makes mistakes. I just haven’t understood why they’ve put the reins on him all year. They finally opened it up and got that great play by Beckum and lots of other long passes. It also opened up the run game. Bradshaw did as good as can be expected with a broken foot and Jacobs was moving the ball. If anything, I would have liked to see more Jacobs at the end of the game. The O-line held up fairly well considering all the changes as well.

The Giants’ front four was finally able to get some pressure. There seemed to be more blitzes and it kept Rodgers on his toes. They need to work on making sure the quarterback doesn’t run around, though. Considering all the points the Packers scored, I thought the D played pretty well but that last minute drive was horrible. The Packers marched down the field without even breaking a sweat. You have to get the game into overtime.

So the Giants finally looked like a real team again. Getting Bradshaw back was a huge factor, as well as Michael Boley. The injuries need to stop. Every game is now a must-win. Luckily every team ahead of them lost, but the only two games that matter are the Cowboys games. The division is going to come down to that, just like it should.

Trivia Time: Luxury Tax Edition

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, trivia

Now that the NBA lockout it over, it’s time for the most fun non-game part of the entire year: free agency! The rules are a bit different. Grantland has a great summary of all the rules. While some teams are way over the cap (I’m looking at you, Lakers), several others are significantly under and have a lot of decisions to make in the next few weeks to determine their future. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and I won’t amnesty your ass. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

Which team currently has the least amount of salary committed towards the 2011-2012 NBA season? (and a hint: it is not the Miami Heat)

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There’s no greater honor an athlete can receive in team sports than having his number retired. It represents doing something so special for the franchise that no other player could ever hope to duplicate it. Deron Williams needed 15 games to earn the achievement for Beşiktaş of the Turkish Basketball League, where he was playing during the NBA lockout. With the labor issue resolved, Williams was set to return to the Nets but his adopted team decided to give him one last over-the-top send-off after he averaged 21.8 points and 6.5 assists for them in the span of a few months.

If Brian Scalabrine ever wanted to get his number retired, he better head out to Turkey. Despite his limited credentials, Deron Williams isn’t the only player to have his jersey raised to the rafters by a team he didn’t exactly do much for. Michael Jordan had his #23 retired by the Miami Heat after averaging 0.0 points for them in 0 career games. Fan up, Miami!

WEEK 13 Picks: Real or J-Lo?

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, football, NFL


As I wrote earlier, there’s no chance in hell that Jennifer Lopez cruises around the hood in a Fiat. Turns out I was right. It was revealed that Jen shot her part of this commercial in a Hollywood soundstage while a body double actually did the cruising. There’s a bunch of J. Lo’s in the NFL right now: teams that look competent but have the same chance of winning the Super Bowl as an millionaire diva returning to her roots in a budget Italian car.

The Bills and Chargers have been the two biggest J. Lo’s so far, but they’re not the only ones. How about the Ravens, Falcons, Jets, or even the Patriots? I’ll guarantee you that one isn’t as good as we all think they are. The real trick is being able to sniff out which one before the reveal. Pick time, kids.

TITANS AT BILLS (-2.5)
Stone: Titans

Slumdeezy: Bills

Rory: Titans
Screw the Bills.

DP Animal: Titans
A potentially resurgent CJ2K against that woeful Buffalo defense seems like a solid bet.

Phanatic: Titans
You know my new rule.

CHIEFS AT BEARS (-6.5)
Stone: Chiefs

Slumdeezy: Bears

Rory: Bears
Hooray!  Basketball is back!

DP Animal: Bears
There are so many bad QBs in the NFL right now.

Phanatic: Bears

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Are We Having Fun Yet?

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in Party Down, TV


If you were a fan of the brilliant but gone way too soon TV show Party Down, Details has a great oral history from its conception to cancellation. Originally, Paul Rudd was going to be Henry and Steve Carell was in the mix to play Ron. I’m happy the way it turned out. Party Down may have only lasted 20 episodes, but at least it went out on top.

Expectations are a tricky thing, even if they form the lifeblood of any sports fan.  The buildup to a season is all about establishing your expectations for your team: maybe this will be THE year, maybe we’ll make the playoffs, maybe the young guys will show some promise, maybe we’ll be so bad we get a high draft pick, and so on.  Of course, expectations can (and often do) change over the course of the season.

Some of the most fun to be had as a sports fan is when your team exceeds your expectations.  I still have tremendously fond memories of the 2004-2005 Sonics, a team that came out of basically nowhere to go 52-30 and take the eventual champion Spurs to a sixth game despite being without their second-best player for the series.  Sure, there were Sonics teams that won more games, where the expectation heading into the season was higher, but they had a nasty habit of losing in the first round of the playoffs (now is the time when I tell Dikembe Mutumbo to go fuck himself).

The point is, the surprise is what makes a team memorable, at least in my eyes.  I’m sure Packers fans are enjoying this season a great deal, but I have to imagine that it’s hard to feel the same way about the team that they did last year, when everything came together at the right time.  Football of late has shown that as long as you can hang around the playoff picture, you might be able to put it together just in time to make a run to the Super Bowl, as the Steelers, Giants, Cardinals, and Packers have all done in recent years.

It’s that reason why this Seahawks team has been so unusual.  I privately harbored mild expectations coming into this year: I figured that so long as Tarvaris Jackson wasn’t terrible (and by and large he hasn’t been), the offense would improve as the season went along, and the defense would likely be good enough that the team would hang around an otherwise unimpressive NFC West race until December at least.  Well, the 49ers have somewhat ruined that idea, but the fact remains that the Seahawks are basically what I expected them to be: occasionally good, usually mediocre, and sometimes terrible.

What no one expected is that they’d come into this game arguably a better team than the Eagles.  While I wasn’t exactly handing the Lombardi Trophy over to Andy Reid before the season started, it was hard to picture a team as theoretically dynamic as the Eagles not even sniffing the playoffs.  If you’d asked me before hand to envision a scenario in which they were out of playoff contention in November, it would have involved season-ending injuries to several key players.  While obviously Vick, Jackson, Maclin, and others have all missed some time, that hasn’t been the case overall.  Instead, those guys just haven’t been very good.

So of course whenever the general projection goes awry, the immediate response on the part of most folks is to look for a simple answer: “The Eagles were too cocky,” “Reid is a terrible coach,” “Vick isn’t a winner,” and so on.  Of course, in sports as in life, there are no simple answers.  While the “Dream Team” quotes were premature and stupid, they also came from the back-up QB, meaning it’s hard to claim that everyone on the team just assumed they’d win the Super Bowl.  Similarly, while Andy Reid has his (obvious) flaws, that franchise has been one of the best in the league for his entire tenure.  He’ll probably be sent packing this offseason, if not before, and maybe that’s for the best: in the end, even great coaches wear out their welcome, but the few smart Philly fans out there would do well to remember him as the coach that had their team in the playoffs almost every year, something few others can boast.

In reality, it seems that the biggest problem with the Eagles is that many of their supposed star players were never that good to begin with.  Despite the highlights, neither DeSean Jackson nor Jeremy Maclin are a real number one receiver: both lack the size to go over the middle consistently, and they’re both extremely fragile.  LeSean McCoy may be the real deal, but the team seems hesitant to put the ball in his hands 20-25 times a game with regularity.

Defensively, the presumed dominance of Nnamdi Asomugha, Asante Samuel, and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie has failed to manifest, and the front four, despite big-name free agent signings, has been underwhelming.  In fact, despite perhaps 1/1000th of the hype, the Seahawks have the better defense according to most advanced metrics.  Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

So you have two teams that have arrived at tonight’s game with identical 4-7 records, but completely opposite journeys.  The Seahawks have mixed occasional exciting and tantalizing wins over teams like the Ravens and Giants with frustrating losses, like last week’s to the Redskins.  The Eagles’ losses are a bit more explicable (outside of Arizona), but outside of the beatdown applied to Dallas, they’ve never looked like the world-beaters many expected coming in to the year.  Even if they leave Seattle with a win, they’re looking at a long and difficult climb back into a playoff race that might have already lapped them.

For the Seahawks, meanwhile, this game marks an opportunity to show a national audience that some of the pieces of a future playoff team are in place here as well as a chance to heap a bit more humiliation on a team that might well be ready to quit on its season.  Oh yeah, and a chance for me to talk a bit of shit to Phanatic, and really who can’t get behind that?

Here’s are our picks for tonight’s game.

DREAM TEAM (-2.5) AT SEAHAWKS
Stone: Seahawks
Slumdeezy: Dream Team
Rory: Seahawks
DP Animal: Seahawks
Phanatic: Dream Team

CURRENT RECORDS
Rory: 96-74 (Last week: 8-7)
Stone: 96-74 (11-4)
Slumdeezy: 92-78 (8-7)
DP Animal: 84-86 (8-7)
Phanatic: 82-88 (7-8)

Throwback: Ernest Goes To Jury Duty

Posted: November 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in Ernest, Throwback, videos


Ernest Goes To Jail was one of my favorite movies as a kid and the jury duty scene still makes me laugh, Vern. Jim Varney pulled double-duty in this one, playing Ernest and the nefarious Mr. Nash, who switched places with Ernest landing our hero in jail. However, Ernest escapes and eventually exacts revenge on those who wronged him. In short, Ernest Goes To Jail is like a more realistic version of The Shawshank Redemption. I can’t believe it didn’t win an Oscar.

Old Man Fight!

Posted: November 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in Canada, CFL, football


I’ve fallen and I cant get up, eh?

Forget Yanks-Red Sox. Apparently, the biggest sports rivalry in the world is between the BC Lions and Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League. During a luncheon in Vancouver two days before the Grey Cup, Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca got into a fistfight after Kapp tried to give Mosca a flower. Apparently, these two have a decades-old dislike of each other from their days on the gridiron. Anytime you have two 70-something dudes fighting each other and a cane is involved, you know it’s going to be magic. The best part is the crowd reaction as it escalates from good-natured fun to a beat down. Stop laughing, folks! He just broke his hip. At least he has universal healthcare. The Lions ended up with the hardware, beating Winnipeg 34-23 behind the momentum of a first quarter rouge by Paul McCallum.

WEEK 78 – Play With Fire

Posted: November 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, football, Giants, New Orleans Saints, NFL


Saints 49, Giants 24

A big part of the Giants’ decline has been injuries. There’s no denying that. With a full squad, they play a much more competitive game last night. At the same time, they’ve failed to adequately adapt, both personnel wise and mentally. I don’t want to rehash last night’s game because it was ugly. The Saints are an offensive juggernaut and a smart team on top of it, so I knew the Giants’ weaknesses would be exploited, and they were. A lot.

The defensive line, once their biggest strength, again failed to make any headway, and the playcalling was again too conservative. The Giants won the Super Bowl and stopped the greatest offense of all-time not by playing perfect coverage but by bringing different types of blitzes. When you do that, it doesn’t matter how good the quarterback is or how banged up your secondary is, you’re not going to let the offense get into a flow like they did last night and the past few games.

On the O side, it was again the same story. Brandon Jacobs ran a little better but he still goes side-to-side way too much. When he barrels into the line, he’s going to pick up a few yards no matter what. When he goes to the sidelines, he doesn’t have the same effect. Even when all he does is hit the other players on defense hard, it softens them up for future plays.

Still, the Giants were content to go with their standard running game and 10- to 20-yard pass plays. I know they were shorthanded but it’s so easy for the defense when you don’t spread the field with a big play every once in a while. The one time they did, Cruz got open and scored a big touchdown. That first interception was also a killer. Eli made a decent throw but it was a bit short, Ballard mistimed his jump, and the defender made a great play. When you blow a touchdown that early, it sets a bad tone for the rest of the game. The Packers are next and while it would be safe to assume the game will be similar to this one, hopefully the Giants will be more freewheeling and play to win instead of not to lose.

The Real Big Three

Posted: November 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in Amar'e, basketball, Knicks, Melo, NBA, Sesame Street


During the lockout, Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony made a little trip to Sesame Street to chill with their buddy Grover and talk about the word “compare.” Melo was a little stiff but still turned in a better performance than the last video he filmed in the hood. At least he has that whole smiling thing down. Amar’e, on the other hand, has the makings of a young Idris Elba. As for Grover, the Nets might look to give him a $35 million contract after this performance.