Archive for the ‘baseball’ Category

When Alex Rodriguez revealed that he had been using steroids, he said that his cousin Yuri Sucart had been supplying and injecting him. You would think that Cousin Yuri would be excommunicated from A-Rod’s life except for maybe Thanksgiving. Nope. Major League Baseball recently launched an investigation concerning Cousin Yuri’s sudden reappearance on the Yankees’ west coast swing. Luckily, the slugger was exonerated because Cousin Yuri is still allowed in public areas (aren’t we all?)

However, this raises an interesting question. Why is A-Rod still spending time with Cousin Yuri? Not only that but why is Cousin Yuri coming on road trips? Assuming he’s not a complete idiot and hasn’t resumed taking steroids, there is no need for Cousin Yuri to be hanging around the Yankees. Cousin Yuri tainted A-Rod’s baseball career SO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BALLPARK!!!! Go out to dinner with him. Pay for his kids to go to college. Anything else.

But please, the Yankees are finally playing well. The last thing we need is controversy or suspicion, especially with Boston and all their ugly, ignorant fans coming into town and A-Rod nearing the all-time home run record. It’s not that A-Rod is stupid, he’s just supremely unaware. Maybe it helps him hit home runs, but somebody needs to keep A-Rod from continuously being in the news for the wrong reasons.

Man Drops Daughter and More Importantly Foul Ball

Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, the kids

This is some good parenting right here. I’m glad Dad has his priorities straight and hopefully Lil’ Suzie learns not to ask to be picked up during the game. Gotta make the catch though, bro. That Dodger organization is real family oriented from the fans to the owners, huh?

Million-Dollar Perfection

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB 2K11, video games

Brian Kingrey, a 25-year-old music teacher from Louisiana, was the winner of MLB 2K11‘s $1 million prize for pitching a perfect game. Amazingly, it was the first baseball video game he’d ever played. Brian’s wife convinced him to go for the prize while they watched a G4 show about the contest. After watching him dominate shooters for years, she figured it would be a piece of cake. It turned out to be worth many pieces of cake as Brian played with every team and studied up on players, techniques, and even the rules of baseball to get ready for the April 1 start date. Using Roy Halladay, he got achieved perfection two hours after the contest began. It was a fairytale story that would only be featured at Comic-Con. And this is why chicks should encourage us to play video games. I wonder if Brian’s wife has a younger sister?

Kotaku

Fred Wilpon Is A Genius

Posted: May 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Fred Wilpon, Mets, MLB

The Mets have been a laughingstock for a few years now. Going back to their 2006 loss in the NLCS to the St. Louis Cardinals and epic 2007 collapse in the NL East race, to the more recent off-the-field embarrassments with Omar Minaya, Tony Bernazard, and of course Bernie Madoff, this isn’t the brightest spot in Mets history. But today is a new low.

In an interview with the New Yorker, owner Fred Wilpon took several shots at his players, his players. Of Jose Reyes, he said, “He’s had everything wrong with him.” Of Carlos Beltran, “He’s 65-70% of what he was.” And finally, of poor hardworking David Wright, whose production has dipped in the cavernous Citi Field, “A very good player. Not a superstar.”

Obviously, this is stupid for many reasons. Wilpon is antagonizing an injury-plagued roster that just managed to get back to .500. He’s also belittling the fans who are shelling out their hard-earned money to see a team that the owner doesn’t think is very good. At the same time, the worst thing is that he’s hurting the trade value of all these guys.

Or maybe Wilpon is a stupid like a fox. The big question of the impending Madoff lawsuit is whether he knew that his profits were ill begotten or if he was just an assclown who fell for the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. After this, nobody will believe he was smart enough to do his due diligence and figure things out. In the New Yorker piece, Madoff himself said about Mets management that “although I explained the Strategy [sic] to them they were not sophisticated enough to evaluate it properly.” Wilpon isn’t a crook; he’s a fool.

ESPN

Josh Thole Teaches Dog Sign Language

Posted: May 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Josh Thole, Mets, MLB, ridiculous

When Mets catcher Josh Thole and his wife discovered that their dog was deaf, they decided to teach it doggie sign language. Ladies and gentlemen, Josh Thole is an idiot.

NY Daily News

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When I heard that a robot was going to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game, I thought it was pretty cool. I assumed it was one of those crazy Japanese robots that can walk and fall in love and stuff. Then, I found out it was going to throw out the first pitch at a Phillies game and was named PhillieBot. My hopes were considerably lowered. PhillieBot turned out to basically be a catapault, which would have been cool if this was the Dark Ages. Somebody should have told the dorks at UPenn. It couldn’t even reach the plate. This seriously may have been the lamest thing I’ve ever seen besides all the Eagles fans who think their team is going to win the Super Bowl every year. Still better than Carl Lewis though. At least we know robots won’t be taking over the world for a while.

>Meet the Me$$: A Mets Fan’s Perspective

Posted: February 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Mets

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My buddy Rodave is a huge Mets fan and was actually in attendance for Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS. He E-mailed me in response to the Madoff situation with the Mets. Here’s what he said:

As a Mets fan, my only issue with the Wilpon-Madoff scandal is that for the first time in a while even at the outset of the season, the Mets have no hope for contention. Typically since the 2007 collapse, those hopes are dashed quite early on in the season, but at least there is always the glimmer of optimism. Not this year.

There’s a looming sentiment of depression when discussing anything Mets. It’s not anger or disappointment (after 2007, you’re just fooling yourself if disappointment is still in your vocabulary as a Mets fan.) Hell, those emotions would be welcomed over the helplessness we now feel. Some Michael Vick-esque scandal may be just what the team needs to ignite some sort of fire (and yes, I use Vick over Big Ben because it’s all we have over Philadelphia these days.)

In legal proceedings, the purported criminal’s mental state is paramount in determining the type of crime charged. With the Wilpons the question is whether they really were in the dark or were willfully blind. The willful blindness, or ostrich theory, seems appealing because the Wilpons and Sterling Equities are “sophisticated investors.” How could they have been duped? Picard will answer that they weren’t—that they were in fact in on it (the fact that the $500+ million they still managed to withdraw from the fund doesn’t look too good.)

As you pointed out, however, the other alternative is that the Wilpons were just moronically oblivious to the Ponzi scheme. For one thing, there were plenty of sophisticated investors tied to Madoff losing vast sums of money, including my very own NYU. Additionally, while the Wilpons profited on certain accounts, they also lost on others.  The facts seem to show that they at least invested nearly as much as they eventually took out. Yes, the profits will still be subject to Picard’s claims, but it is not clear that those profits were gained with inside knowledge. If you want to keep a Ponzi scheme, it occurs to me that Madoff would slowly bleed all his accounts and not simply go for the kill. Lastly, it’s the Mets. If you’re Picard trying to build your resume, the fact that you took the owners of the Mets down rather than some pension fund or educational institution would make for a better story.

In the end, I don’t care. The Wilpons will lawyer up. They may or may not keep the team. I’ve heard past players including Darryl Strawberry say kind words about the family, and perhaps, they really
deserve to keep the team. But as a fan, I don’t have a special place in my heart for the Wilpons as some owners, such as Mark Cuban or George Steinbrenner, have in the hearts of their fans. Right now all I hear is the deafening woosh of the 2011 season passing by like an Adam Wainwright curve to Carlos Beltran.

>Meet the Me$$

Posted: February 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Mets

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This Mets story with Bernie Madoff is getting dirtier and more interesting by the day. And as a Yankee fan, I find it hilarious. When it was first reported that the Mets were involved, everyone assumed that they had lost money but now it looks like they actually profited throughout the course of the deal. Now Irving Picard, the trustee assigned to regain money for the victims of the Ponzi scheme, is suing Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz for upwards of $1 billion (with a b!) for failing to realize that their gains were misbegotten.

 
Here’s where I have to stand up for the Mets. They haven’t had any idea what’s going on for 10 years. How were the supposed to figure out that Madoff was a scam? From letting Steve Phillips win the war with Bobby V to the Beltran strikeout in 2006, collapse in 2007, Tony Bernazard incident, and Jose Reyes spending 3 months on the DL with a boo boo, it’s clear that nobody is minding the Mets store. If they couldn’t figure out that Ollie Perez was a bad signing, they weren’t going to figure out Madoff.  Now it looks like they might have to sell part of the team. Not only that, but even David Wright admits that the Mets can’t spend as much money and nobody’s going to want to come to the team with a questionable ownership just like nobody wants to go to the Dodgers. Coming off a 79-83 season and with tons of question marks and new management in place, the Madoff controversy is unfortunately the biggest addition the Mets made in the offseason. Just know that as silly as it looks now at how close the Wilpons and Katz were with Bernie Madoff, there was no way they saw this coming. But that’s part of the larger problem.