Poor girl just looks stunned. She wins the gold medal and is about to become a Kazakh national hero. She might even get a brand-new mule for her village. Then, the anthem starts playing and she has to hear about how her country’s prostitutes are the cleanest in the region. I guess they’re not so bright in Kuwait, where this competition was held. A good tip-off that this may not have been the national anthem is the fact that it’s in English. I’m not Christopher Columbus but I’m pretty sure they don’t speak English there. And again, the whole thing with the prostitutes. They eventually re-did the ceremony so Maria Dmitrienko could have her moment. For what it’s worth, let’s here in The Suite celebrate her moment with the real Kazakh national anthem.
Shooting Championship Plays Kazakhstan National Anthem From “Borat” Instead of, You Know, the Real One
Posted: March 25, 2012 by Keith Stone in newsTags: Borat, I LIKE!!!, Kazakhstan, Kuwait, news
Jennifer Lawrence: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuumTags: dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games
The Hunger Games is going to dominate the weekend, so here’s Jennifer Lawrence who plays some sort of character in the movie. I’m not going to pretend to know anything about it, but how could she not win the Hunger Games? You got some hot chick with huge cans fighting to the death with 14-year-old boys. Let me tell you something. Those kids are going to die with smiles on their faces. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Here’s To You, Joba
Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLBTags: baseball, Joba Rules, MLB, Spring of Motivation, spring training, Yankees
All right, so Joba’s going to survive and hopefully pitch again for the Yankees. At this point, I guess you can’t help but laugh a little and be happy things didn’t turn out worse. Let’s wish the big man well.
P.S.: All these people are idiots.
Slobberknocker: Empty Arena Match
Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in videosTags: Mick Foley, Slobberknocker, The Rock, videos, wrestling, WWF
Smackdown Hotel, corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive. No, Mankind can’t talk. He’s a little tied up right now.
With Wrestlemania less than two weeks away, there’s no better time to look back at some of the classic matches the Rock has had. The Empty Arena Match against Mankind has to be right at the top. Shown during halftime of Super Bowl XXXIII and filmed in an empty Tucson Arena, the duo battled their way in a falls count anywhere contest for the WWF Title. In 20 minutes, just about everything you could ask for in a match occurs. McMahon returning to the commentary table and simultaneously shilling for the WWF and rooting for the Rock in the most homoerotic way possible. Mankind falling down several sets of stairs. The Rock shoving Mankind into an oven and asking, “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?” Mankind attacking the Rock with a bag of popcorn. All the while, Earl Hebner barely cracks a smile while the Rock is putting together a comedic performance that rivals Jim Carrey in the 80’s. Classic ending too with some fantastic camera work. Nobody but these two guys could pull off quite a match.
Joba Rule #47: Don’t Play On Trampolines
Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLBTags: baseball, Joba Rules, MLB, Spring of Motivation, spring training, Yankees
News out of Tampa is that Joba Chamberlain severely dislocated his ankle last night while jumping on a trampoline with his son. How bad was it? The injury apparently pierced the skin. Joba was recovering from Tommy John surgery and Casanova Cashman says he’s out indefinitely, which doesn’t sound promising.
It’s fucking insane how hard the Yankees’ bullpen is being hit by ridiculous injuries. David Robertson hurt himself taking the recycle out. Joba on the trampoline. Soriano is made of glass so I’m sure he’s going to hurt himself brushing his teeth. Can somebody wrap Mo up in bubble wrap? If anything happens to him, the pen is officially cursed. Apparently, Steinbrenner Field was built on the remnants of an Indian burial ground. Joe needs to forget all the motivational tricks and speakers. Bring the crazy lady from Poltergeist to camp.
I love Joba and I love trampolines, but how do you suffer a career-threatening injury on a tramp? When I was a kid, me and my friends would wrestle on trampolines, throw shit at each other, spray each with other with hoses, and didn’t get so much as a scratch. Also, his son is like 5 so I’m sure they were on the most embarrassingly small trampoline you could severely dislocate your ankle on. Can’t wait to hear about it from Sox fans. I know April Fool’s Day is a week away but somebody please tell me this is a joke.
Bobby V Is Still An Assclown
Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLBTags: Bobby V, BOSTON SUCKS, Joe Girardi, Sox, Spring of Motivation, spring training, Yankees
You would think Bobby Valentine could get through an entire Yanks-Sox spring training game without any controversy, but apparently it’s too difficult for Bobby-san. During last night’s tilt, the two teams were tied 4-4 after nine innings. Joe Girardi was dealing with a starting pitcher that was scratched when his wife went into labor and a thin bullpen after using five pitchers. Expecting a long bus ride back to Tampa and two split-squad games toady, Girardi told umpires he was ready to call it a day. Bobby V already had somebody called Clayton Mortensen warming up in the bullpen, and that set him off. Valentine said:
“The umpire came over and said we couldn’t play. I don’t care about not playing. Why do I have to warm up my pitcher who is trying to make the team, coming in a tie game against the Yankees and maybe help him make the team? Instead, he has to walk off the mound and take a shower. Not very courteous.“
I’m pretty sure Bobby V is a chick. That could be the only explanation. He’s like the girl that bitches and moans about everything. Get Bobby V flowers? Not his favorite color. Take him out for dinner? You know he doesn’t like Italian food. Nobody else nags about every single thing like Bobby V does except a woman. Who cares about some guy who’s never going to make the team warming up during a spring training game?
A few weeks ago he said he hated the Yankees and talked shit about Captain Jeter and A-Rod. Joe sticks up for his players. You talk shit about them, you don’t get the courtesy of knowing when we’re taking our balls and bats and heading home. Plus, he has some motivational speeches to prepare. Sorry, Bob. See you in the regular season.
The Perfect Date Night
Posted: March 21, 2012 by phanatic417 in moviesTags: movies, The Hunger Games
It’s Friday night’s eternal question: what to do for date night?
Especially in NYC there always seem to be endless options but they get to be just overwhelming enough to force us into dinner and a movie at the same theater and same restaurant we’ve been to a million times. But this Friday let me make it easy on you and allow you to spice things up a bit by going to see the new (and already way over-hyped) Hunger Games come to life on the big screen.
At this point you’d have to be living under a rock to not know about it…the Lord-of-the-Flies-esque story from Suzanne Collins about a girl named Katniss who must battle to the death against 23 other kids between the ages of 12 and 18 for the honor of their district in a post-apocalyptic world.
It’s been compared to both Harry Potter and Twilight but it’s a unique story that can stand all on its own. And in the movie version you’re lucky enough to have something for everyone – the tough chick with sex appeal (Katniss is being played by Jennifer Lawrence), a love triangle with 2 hunks (Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson), and gratuitous violence with pangs of sensitivity. It’s a win-win for both parties of date night!
And if all your friends telling you, and the fact that they hold the top 3 spots on Amazon isn’t enough, perhaps seeing the movie will be an impetus to get the books and read an incredibly interesting, gripping trilogy so you can pass on the gospel to the next person.
Trivia Time: Mike Woodson
Posted: March 21, 2012 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, triviaTags: basketball, Knicks, Mike Woodson, NBA, trivia
How can you not like Mike Woodson? The Knicks are undefeated since he took over and are playing with a renewed intensity and cohesion. I had my doubts but only a few days in, I’m buying all the shares in Woodson I can buy. He’s letting the players play a type of game that works to their strengths and dumped the rigid structure of before. I wouldn’t mind seeing him around for years to come. Coach Woodson also had a pretty solid playing career, averaging 14 points a game for five different teams. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and get some PT. The answer, as always, is after the jump.
What team drafted Mike Woodson in 1980? (and a hint: it was not the San Diego Clippers)
Joe To Pitchers: Sack Up!
Posted: March 20, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLBTags: Andy Pettitte, baseball, Joe Girardi, MLB, Spring of Motivation, spring training, Yankees
With the addition of Andy Pettitte to the Yankees’ pitching staff, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there’s not enough room for everybody in the starting rotation. Yesterday, Joe Girardi made it known that he doesn’t care about anyone’s performance in the past or the circumstances of their arrival to the Yanks, just the way they pitch now. He said:
“If you don’t want somebody to take your job, pitch that way. It’s really simple. Let’s say the job was given to you and you were struggling. They’re going to look for someone to give the job to. You have to produce. That’s the world we live in in New York. It’s not like, ‘You’re this guy and we’re going to give you 20 starts no mater what happens.’ We don’t live in that world here.“
In other words, put up or shut up, boys. What a welcome departure from the days of Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright. Michael Pineda’s been struggling with his velocity. Now it’s get it up or off to the bullpen. You can have all the motivational speeches in the world during spring training but nothing’s going to light the fire under a guy’s ass than the threat of losing his job. It’s nice to see athletes getting treated like the rest of us.
Even if Andy sucks, at least we’ll know which guys really deserve to start. But judging from today’s bullpen session and how much he and Russell Martin got each other’s juices flowing (no homo), it looks like Pineda, Phil Hughes, Ivan Nova, and Freddy Garcia are going to have to pick their games up if they want to stay in the rotation.
Awkward…
Posted: March 20, 2012 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBATags: basketball, Chris Mullin, Golden State Warriors, Joe Lacob, NBA
During the retirement ceremony of Chris Mullin’s jersey, Golden State Warriors fans let owner Joe Lacob know that they are not happy in the direction their franchise is heading, especially after trading Monta Ellis a few days earlier. The fans unleashed a tidal wave of boos as Lacob was introduced and starting speaking. When he appeared flustered and even acknowledged the boos, it only made things worse.
Not since Mr. McMahon have I seen an owner get booed this loudly. But seriously, why is the team owner who’s only owned the team for two years giving this speech, much less the last speech of the night. It’s a ballsy move. A guy like Mark Cuban pulls it off. Unfortunately, it kinda put a whole damper on Mullin’s special night. My favorite part of it all is when Rick Barry has to calm down the fans. Hey, old man, talking down to the “greatest fans in sports” isn’t going to help. I know they’re frustrated and all, but it was extremely classless not that they booed Lacob, but taking the spotlight away from Mullin on his night.
Rainman Suite 