As part of losing my March Madness Battle of the Sexes with CurlySue, I was forced to stand in the middle of Times Square with a sign that says, “A girl knows more about sports than me.” In a related story, join me in The Suite for extended NBA and NHL Playoff coverage later this week. This was one of the low points of my life. Here are the pictures. If you love Asian tourists, this is right up your alley.
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The Knicks probably should have won that game. Overall, I thought they played really well. They were composed. Everyone contributed. Heck, even Ronny Turiaf made a couple of baskets. It’s all for naught, though. They couldn’t execute in the last few minutes. Chauncey Big Shot’s injury was a killer. Hopefully, he’ll be back for Game 2, but not having him out there for the last play was tough. The team looked lost out there. Obviously, the offensive foul call against Carmelo was horrendous but there’s nothing you could do about it. Coach D used up all his timeouts again and it really hurt on the last possession. The final shot wasn’t great but Melo is the guy that’s going to take it. He should have taken it earlier to make it easier for a putback. I have no problem with a 3 instead of a 2 because you might as well go for the win instead of having to go for a win in OT on the road. Amar’e played great and was fearless taking the ball to the hole. He made KG look bad. The defense was really solid. Everyone was quick to move around. Turiaf was great especially. He’s really underrated. I would love it if he could give 30 minutes a game.
The jitters should be out of everyone’s system now and it’s clear that these two teams are pretty evenly matched. Today was a tough loss but nobody should hang their head.
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“A real man makes his own luck.”—Dwight K. Schrute
This was a must-win and it showed. The Rangers still had their usual problems. It was a struggle to score. They held on to the puck too much instead of shooting it. But this time they had a little luck. Christensen scored a nifty little bad-angle goal, Prospal was in the right place at the right time to put back a rebound, and the puck finally bounced the right way for the winning goal. I think the real key is Dubinsky’s mustache. That’s a bad ass stache. The whole team needs to grow one. The goal at the end of the second period was also pretty lucky but was unfortunately apparently a tenth of a second too late. The explanation was dubious if you ask me. Three games in and the Caps have scored only six goals. Pretty good. The Rangers need to stick to their game and make sure to shoot the puck. Neuvirth is perhaps cooling down a bit, but the more the puck is going towards the net, the greater a chance for a deflection, rebound, or even just a nice bounce. As long as they hold serve at home and grow luxurious mustaches, the Blueshirts should be OK.
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There’s a lot to be scared about. The Celtics are a good team. They know how to win. They’re tough. They’ll cut your heart out if you let them. But the Knicks can beat them. They couldn’t do it during the regular season but they can do it now. This season has been all about overcoming fear. Not the fear of losing, but the fear of winning. It’s easy to lose. There are 29 teams that are going to lose. Everything that has happened so far this year culminates tonight. The pressure of climbing the mountain is enormous, especially in New York. Amar’e and Carmelo can do it, but they need to do it together. And their guys and the fans need to be there every step of the way. Big Shot needs to stay in front of Rondo. Turiaf needs to get control the paint. Toney needs to hit his open shots. Landry needs to not play like a rookie. Everyone needs to rebound. Everyone needs to defend. There can’t be any doubts or complacency. The Celtics are old but they will find a way to win. If they sense even an ounce of fear, they will take advantage of it. When the Celtics look into our eyes tonight, what will they see?
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Jeffrey Klein is the state senator from the Bronx who’s sponsoring a bill that would ban Four Loko and similar drinks from being sold at delis. Four Loko already stopped using caffeine. Now it’s basically just a shitty alcoholic drink. And hey, you can always just mix some vodka with Red Bull. Klein argues that fruity alcoholic beverages encourage kids to drink. How does it encourage kids to drink more than a Bud Light commercial?
Jeff, baby, that’s funny and it had nothing to do with beer. I’d buy tampons if that’s what the commercial was selling. Speaking of which, beer is what kids are going to buy instead if you ban Four Loko. This state has so many problems. Selling Joose at Robin Raj should be the least of your worries. The subway is too expensive and it sucks. Fix that. The education system sucks. Fix that. Maybe if you did, there’d be less kids trying to get drunk and more studying for math tests. This isn’t Communist Sweden. As long as the bodega down the street isn’t selling crack rock to six-year-olds, stay out of its business. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.
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Just when things look like they’re gonna heat up in Toronto with a little girl-on-girl kiss cam action at the 1:30 mark…heartbreak city. That’s why the Leafs didn’t make the playoffs. I wonder if those chicks were at the Slut Walk?
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If there’s anything I learned about Mark Sanchez’s affair with that high school chick, it’s that the age of consent in New York is 17. So in this completely plausible scenario, if I catch Taylor Momsen’s eye at the 17-and-over clubs that I’m known to frequent, it’s not rape. I cannot do any more community service. According to my diligent research, Taylor is an actress on a show called Gossip Girl and in a band called the Pretty Reckless, which I’m sure is great. Also, the girl has legs. Hey Taylor, if you need me to buy you cigarettes, holler. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
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Rainman Suite 