St. Valentine must’ve been a nifty guy to start the tradition of giving cards to loved ones on his birthday. Or flying around and shooting people with arrows to fall in love. Come to think of it, Valentine’s Day might be the holiday that people know the least about its origin. In fact, there are more than one St. Valentine. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and I’ll give you a kiss. Unless you’re a dude. The answer, as always, is after the jump.
Nothing says the 80’s quite like Will Ferrell, an actor who was born in the 60’s, starred in several movies taking place in the 70’s, rose to fame in the 90’s, and became a superstar in the 00’s. That’s why the New Orleans Hornets (they still exist?) invited Ferrell to introduce the starting lineups for their game against the Bulls as part of their 80’s Night promotion. Although he did the same thing in Semi-Pro, the results were still pretty freaking hilarious. I would’ve liked to see him introduce the ball girls, though. And is it just me, or is Trevor Ariza not enjoying his time in the Big Easy?
The world lost an angel last week. No, not Whitney Houston. Kylie Bisutti hung up her wings and quit Victoria’s Secret to spend more time with her husband. If making your wife quit a life of standing and walking for millions of dollars isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Kylie also wanted to set a better example for young girls and show the world that just because you’re a sex bomb doesn’t mean you should stand around in lingerie all the time. Let’s just hope that the girls she’s trying to influence are too busy watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians to notice. Bye, Kylie. Props for leaving on top. See you in a few years after the divorce. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Kate Upton absolutely obliterated the cover of this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. What a great Valentine’s Day present for all the single guys out there. All you other chicks are in second place.
There’s nothing worse than falling short in the biggest game of your life. Well, maybe if you lose by four points and know it would have been a whole different story if your ankle was a full strength. Rob Gronkowski put in a man’s effort in 2011. He crushed records and without him the Patriots would have never made the Super Bowl. His antics, from chilling with porn stars to having entertaining interviews in Spanish, made the season interesting to say the least. Of course, Gronk made the most noise by what he did when the season was over. He partied with his shirt off at the Pats’ post-Super Bowl Party to LMFAO. Guess he didn’t take the loss that badly.
It’s not all Gronk. Veteran Matt Light did the same thing. The Patriots going through with the party was questionable in itself. Who celebrates making the Super Bowl? Tom Brady and Bill Belichick didn’t make an appearance at the understandably somber proceedings, not surprisingly. I’m not saying you can’t go and spend one last time with your teammates and friends or unwind after an intense game and reflect on all the team’s accomplishments. Gronk was going wild, though. Dude was jumping up and down. Good thing he didn’t need surgery on his ankle or anything. Oh wait, he did.
Robby, baby, I love dancing with my shirt off. Ask my lady friends. But there’s a time and a place. Hours after your team loses the Super Bowl is not one of them. And what’s up with all the ass slapping? You and your friends are pretty close, huh? It’s an insult to the people that care to be partying it up.
Everyone handles grieving in their own way. If you made that Hail Mary catch, I’d probably still be eating chocolate chocolate chip Haagen Dazs right now. But you didn’t because of the ankle you were jumping on with all your bros. If Tommy Boy’s testicles weren’t in Gisele’s handbag, he would have kicked your ass. Party like a Champion when you are a Champion. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.
This is brutal. When I used to play basketball, the first thing I thought when I got on the court was, “OK, which way are we going?” I get that it might be confusing off the jump ball, but I’ve never seen anyone get switched up like this as this at the end of a game. This shot actually ended up being the winning basket for the other team. I’d say that Ryan Potocnik didn’t get any ass that night, but he probably got some from the other team’s cheerleaders.
It’s like Brandon Jacobs said, Gisele needs to shut up and look cute. It doesn’t matter what your husband does. You don’t criticize his co-workers, much less if it’s at a public setting like the Super Bowl. People in Boston are starting to turn on Horse Face and I don’t blame them. No Titles since the Golden Boy got Leo DiCaprio’s leftovers. Thanks. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
The death of Whitney Houston is very sad. Tragic, in fact. There’s nobody you’d think was less likely to die under her circumstances than mid-80’s Whitney. With her passing only a few after Michael Jackson, you really have to wonder about all the pressure they must have felt as international superstars. To have an amazing gift and all the money and fame you could ever want, only to fumble it all away after succumbing to the immense temptations is something that we will never understand. On a more positive note, I Wanna Dance With Somebody might be the happiest music video ever. Of course Whitney wanted to dance with somebody. How could she resist all the neon lights and dudes with spin moves that put Magic Johnson to shame?
Ever want to fuck a Muppet? I know I have! Apparently, the new trend among the ladies is to get waxed and have a “pubic wig” made of wacky-colored fox fur installed down there. Of course, it costs $225. I know chicks generally like to blow their money on idiotic things like designer handbags and shoes, but this might be a new low. What guy is going to going to want to see Liberace’s quill above their girl’s box when they’re getting ready to bang? It’s already bad enough going downtown, now we have to worry about feathers. Good rule of thumb: keep it clean, ladies.
Rainman Suite 