ESPN isn’t the only entity that’s moved away from hard news in favor of ratings-driven celebrity worship, but since it’s what most guys watch, it sucks to see the mindless, speculative drivel it’s become. What makes the situation especially compelling is that ESPN pays to air most of the content that it then reports on. Deadspin did a great job rehashing the problems and how they came about. Check out the article here.
There are conflicting reports that Ronda Rousey is set to become one of the first ladies to step into the UFC octagon not wearing a bikini and holding a large number over her head. I’m not MMA guy, but I could get into it if Ronda was involved. People talk about women’s tennis being more exciting about men’s tennis and that’s bullshit but women’s MMA sounds awesome. I just want to know what the rules are on hair pulling and wardrobe malfunctions. Dating a chick like Ronda must be fun too. There’d always be that thrill knowing that if you forgot your anniversary she’d put you in a kimura lock. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Bengals 31, Giants 13
This was about as bad as a football game could get. Despite the score, the Bengals didn’t really do much. They didn’t have any extended drives or big plays other than the first A.J. Green touchdown. They were brutally efficient, however. Anytime they got the ball in Giants territory, they converted, and they got the ball in Giants territory way too much.
The Bradshaw fumble was an absolute killer. Up until that point, I still thought the Giants were in control. Then, Eli starts treating the ball like it’s a hot potato and the game is over. Not giving the ball up has been key to the Giants’ good start so it’s baffling why they would start doing it against an also-ran like Cincy. This is the first time all year that they really seemed like they were pressing and I hope it’s not because of what people are saying in the press.
Who knows what the “problem” with the Giants is? I think Eli’s struggles are overrated. The offensive line struggled a lot and didn’t give him much time. Perhaps Snee’s injury is a concern. The dropoff from Sean Locklear to David Diehl might also play a part. I love Diehl. He’s a Champion, but at a certain time, you have to move on. That’s something Coach Coughlin is going to have to think about during the BYE.
And can we please get some more Andre the Giant? He is killing it every time he gets the ball. I don’t think Bradshaw is toast but I really feel that the Giants are a better team when Brown gets a majority of the carries. Whether or not he blocks as well is another aspect, but this is another thing to analyze over the BYE. The Giants need a spark and he could be it.
As a Giants fan, you still can’t complain. Your team is in first place by a game-and-a-half and the rest of the teams in the division look like clowns. Still the last two games were so uncommon for what we’re used to. Or is it? Is this just the second-half swoon that the Giants always have for some bizarre unknown reason? Or is 10 games in a row without a bye for an injury-depleted team just too draining? These guys better get their rest on and a few reinforcements, like Kenny Phillips, back because the first game up is against Green Bay and they’re definitely gonna be in a bad mood.
If you’ve watched a Saints game recently, you know that Drew Brees has the record for the most consecutive games with a touchdown. It’s a nice stat for an exceptional quarterback, but that’s all it is. A stat. I know it was a record that stood for a long time and he beat out Johnny Unitas for it, but I swear if I hear one more announcer make it sound like it’s some sort of magical accomplishment up there with Favre’s all-time TD record or Cal Ripken’s streak, I’m gonna smack a brother up. The goal of football is winning games, whether you score points through the air or on the ground. Unlike baseball, where except in certain circumstances hitting a home run is the ultimate outcome of any play, football is totally different.
Brees’s record is like the NBA record for most consecutive games with a 3-pointer. You know who holds that record? Dana Barros. Hardly memorable. The fact that the NFL allowed the Bountygate crew to attend the record-breaking game is laughable. I hope Brandon Weeden breaks the record and only has his streak stopped when he can’t find a team to sign with and goes to play in Canada. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to set the new mark for the most consecutive weeks with a correct pick. It’s that time again…
CHARGERS AT BUCCANEERS (-3.5)
Stone: Buccaneers
I would’ve taken any other team besides the Chargers against the Bucs this week.
Slumdeezy: Chargers
DRK: Chargers
Rory: Buccaneers
Yar! Pirates!
DP Animal: Buccaneers
The worst thing about this year’s Chargers is that they’re boring. Even when they were underachieving in previous seasons, they were somewhat interesting. No more.
Phanatic: Buccaneers
This game could so go in a million different directions so I’m going home field advantage.
FALCONS (-2.5) AT SAINTS
Stone: Saints
Forget the TD streak. Drew Brees’s best work this year has been in his Pepsi commercial with One Direction.
Slumdeezy: Falcons
DRK: Saints
Rory: Falcons
Seems a little low, but you never know with these two teams.
DP Animal: Falcons
While it figures that Atlanta will lose at least a game or two this season, and while this seems like a reasonable spot to expect that, the New Orleans defense is just so bad.
Phanatic: Falcons
Since they have the “pedigree” to go 19-0.
JETS AT SEAHAWKS (-6.5)
Stone: Seahawks
The refs should throw a flag on the 12th man in this one.
Slumdeezy: Seahawks
The opposite of Ivan Drago when they have home field advantage.
DRK: Jets
Rory: Jets
Seattle has a bye next week, so I’m still sticking with the “teams don’t cover before a bye week” theory.
DP Animal: Seahawks
Don’t look now, but Russell Wilson and the Seahawks offense are improving rapidly.
Phanatic: Seahawks
Russell Wilson is too goo right now and the Jets are too bad.
COWBOYS (-1.5) AT EAGLES
Stone: Eagles
Can’t wait to see how Jason Garrett screws this one up.
Slumdeezy: Eagles
DRK: Eagles
Rory: Cowboys
Go meteorite!
DP Animal: Cowboys
The freefall continues for Philly.
Phanatic: Eagles
I hope I got 5-1 again because of this damn game.
RAMS AT 49ERS (-11.5)
Stone: Rams
Take the points.
Slumdeezy: 49ers
DRK: Rams
Rory: Rams
But I don’t feel good about this pick.
DP Animal: 49ers
Phanatic: 49ers
Both teams coming off a bye week but SF also at home and with a big win in week 8.
TEXANS AT BEARS (-1.5)
Stone: Bears
Defense wins Championships.
Slumdeezy: Bears
DRK: Texans
Rory: Texans
Should be a fantastic game.
DP Animal: Bears
When in doubt, take the home team.
Phanatic: Bears
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 31-23 (Last week: 4-2)
DP Animal: 28-26 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 28-26 (4-2)
Rory: 27-27 (4-2)
Phanatic: 26-28 (5-1)
DRK: 23-31 (4-2)
After last week’s Pats-Rams game in London, everyone and their mom who is associated with the NFL seems to be clamoring for a team out there. On top of the fact that nobody in London cares or even knows the rules of football, there are so many logistical problems involved in this. What about when the Chargers play the London Jaguars? That’s like a 10-hour flight. In a sport where every game matters so much, a team’s season could get sunk by something that doesn’t happen on the field.
The London team would also have a ridiculous home-field advantage and horrible traveling disadvantage. And don’t think about hosting Monday Night Football. The game would start past midnight. The league is using London (and Los Angeles) as leverage so teams with bad stadium situations can get more public money. That’s all it is.
It’s shitty business, but if we’re going to con some taxpayers, we might as well have some fun. So may I introduce you to…the Las Vegas Rams! Nobody mentions Vegas seriously as a viable landing spot for a football team because of the gambling implications but it actually makes perfect sense.
Let’s assume we can get a stadium built within a 5-10 minute drive or a long walk from the Strip. Las Vegas doesn’t have the biggest population but you better believe the eight teams that play there as visitors every year are going to bring their fan base and pack the house. What would be better than a Vegas weekend centered around seeing your team play on Sunday? Yeah, whatever team is based there is pretty much going to be a road team every week but isn’t that better than having empty stadiums in Jacksonville, St. Louis, or Oakland? The NFL oozes violence and sex, so where better to put a team than Sin City? You know what else oozes violence and sex? Our picks. Picks!
Slumdeezy: Broncos
DRK: Broncos
Rory: Broncos
Peyton is back! Wee!
DP Animal: Broncos
Turns out Peyton Manning is still pretty good, huh?
Phanatic: Broncos
I love not picking against Peyton. And I love Peyton. Did I mention I love Peyton?
Rory: Colts
Phanatic: Seahawks
Russell Wilson has a huge game (this is a fantasy self-fulfilling prophecy I hope).
Rory: Giants
Phanatic: Steelers
COWBOYS AT FALCONS (-4.5)Rory: Falcons
DRK: Saints
Rory: Saints
When Rory and I decided to send emails back and forth previewing the NBA season, we had no idea that James Harden would be traded right after we talked about the Thunder’s chances of winning the Title with him or that the Nets-Knicks NYC basketball megagame would get postponed due to Superstorm Sandy. So yes, parts of this email chain may be a bit outdated even though they’re less than a week old but Rory and I made sure to do our best when analyzing the burning questions heading into the season, like which player had the best Halloween costume. We even managed to poke fun at a few people and teams, and most importantly, each other.
Stone: So I’m sitting here flipping between Pablo Prigioni running roughshod over the Brooklyn Nets at the hallowed basketball ground known as the Nassau Coliseum and Michael Myers running roughshod over Haddonfield, and then it hit me: the NBA season is less than a week away. It feels like only yesterday when the Heat, well, you know.
Obviously, the trend sweeping the league has been creating these superteams and the Lakers followed suit in the offseason by adding Dwight Howard and Steve Nash. Strictly on paper, it would appear that LA has enough talent to significantly challenge Miami. Maybe I’m a sucker for a dominant big man (must be due to either Patrick Ewing or Eddy Curry) but if the Lakers remain healthy, and that’s a big 7-foot if, I like their chances. With Kobe handling the scoring and swagger, Dwight can focus on what he does best: no, not sulking and tearing a franchise apart, but rebounding and playing monster defense.
Queen James finally got over the mountain last year but are we sure that this means that the Heat are going to win not seven, not eight Titles? After the Yankees won the 2009 World Series, I would’ve sworn that A-Rod would never struggle in the playoffs again. Well, I was wrong. Couldn’t you see LeBron choking it up in a do-or-die East Finals Game 6 in Boston with D-Wade hobbled up and the Bostrich hiding his head in the sand? Is that unfathomable?
Or does LeBron go full-on Michael Jordan serial killer on us? If he has it in him, I can’t see anyone toppling the Heat. LeBron was great in the Finals but he wasn’t exactly the Shape. The refs call that foul on him at the end of Game 2, and we might not be singing this song.
The great thing about this season is that there are just so many subplots around the league. We haven’t even begun to scratch the surface. OKC has as good a group as anybody. Does their emerging superteam break through or will James Harden’s contract situation doom their chances? Can another team enter the Championship equation? The Clips, the Grizz? Will anybody on Golden State ever play defense? Will Mark Cuban miss Opening Night in Dallas to film an episode of Shark Tank? Will I ever stop asking questions? Will you answer any of them? We haven’t even mentioned either of our teams, playing in the same city for the first time ever. How do you think the first season of the Brooklyn Nets will turn out? Oh yeah, and one more thing: LINSANITY!
Rory: Man, you threw a ton of questions at me, and I’m still recovering from the drinking game I played last night during the Knicks-Nets game (drink every time Clyde Frazier made a rhyme). So here we go:
The key words with these superstar teams is “on paper.” It took two seasons for the Miami Heat to figure it out. Last season, the Knicks looked like legitimate contenders…on paper. I was even hyping up my Brooklyn Nets as a contender a few weeks ago, but the parts haven’t meshed yet and the defense has been lacking. If there is one guy who can create instant chemistry with his teammates, though, it is Steve Nash. And, while the Lakers will be formidable, do not count out the Oklahoma City Thunder yet. Their young guys are just getting better each year, and they still have the assets to make a trade to get another big piece to their puzzle. I definitely see them working things out with James Harden as well, probably getting him to take less money for the team as well.
After Lawrence Taylor won his court case this week against the 16-year-old prostitute that accused him of forcing himself on her, he said he wanted to go home and “to concentrate on my own broken life and try to repair that.” Since he retired, he’s been battling his demons with addiction but seemed to have everything under control after taking up golf. Yes, golf. I spoke to a well-known sports memorabilia honcho once who claimed to be good friends with LT and he told me that Taylor channeled his addiction into a passion for golf. It stoked his competitive fire as he played as many rounds a day as he could.
Of course, he fell off the good boy wagon with this latest arrest. It may not be as bad as drugs, but it’s still bad. Regardless of whether he knew the girl was underage, LT put himself in a terrible situation and is lucky to come out of it relatively unscathed. He’s one of the best of all-time on the field. Let’s hope he finds a support system that keeps him out of trouble.
So here’s my plan. Let’s start a company whose sole purpose is to find LT golf partners. I’d pay a couple hundred bucks to play a round with him and I’m sure other people would too. Can you imagine the stories he’d tell out on the links? While we’re at it, this company could find him a more legitimate ladyfriend every once in a while. Seriously, let’s hope he gets better and if you happen to be a friend of Lawrence, PLEASE KEEP HIM BUSY AND PLAY GOLF WITH HIM!!! It’s sad to see legends fall down. Too bad this picks legend has no shot of slowing down. Let’s do it…
FALCONS AT EAGLES (-2.5)
Stone: Eagles
The Falcons aren’t as good as their record.
Slumdeezy: Falcons
DRK: Falcons
Rory: Falcons
Who doesn’t love a birdfight? By the way, a “birdfight” is when you take a shot of Wild Turkey and a shot of Grey Goose, and let the birds fight it out in your stomach. I usually take the Grey Goose shot first, but your mileage may vary.
DP Animal: Falcons
Phanatic: Falcons
But eagles win, Vick will magically have one of his strong games again and live to see another week as a starter.
DOLPHINS AT JETS (-2.5)
Stone: Dolphins
The Fins will have their vengeance.
Slumdeezy: Jets
DRK: Dolphins
Tim Tebow gives me bonerz.
Rory: Dolphins
Teams before their bye week are 1-13 against the spread, and the Jets have a bye next week.
DP Animal: Jets
I really have no idea about this game.
Phanatic: Jets
By a TD.
REDSKINS AT STEELERS (-4.5)
Stone: Redskins
Slumdeezy: Steelers
After getting to see RG3 perform awesomely against my team last week, it’s hard to pick against him, but it’s Pittsburgh at home.
DRK: Steelers
Rory: Redskins
The Redskins nearly beat the Giants last week, and I don’t really like the Steelers. Plus, as Simmons says, pick the NFC over the AFC (although don’t listen to Simmons for gambling advice).
DP Animal: Redskins
I just don’t think the Steelers are very good.
Phanatic: Steelers
Home field advantage is huge in this one.
GIANTS (-2.5) AT COWBOYS
Stone: Giants
Eli is king.
Slumdeezy: Giants
DRK: Cowboys
Rory: Giants
I believe this line started with the Cowboys favored. Regardless, I’m still picking the Giants, but I’m not as confident as I was week 1.
DP Animal: Giants
Phanatic: Giants
SAINTS AT BRONCOS (-6.5)
Stone: Saints
I’m sure the Broncos will be down 20+ at some point in the game. The question is: can they come back again?
Slumdeezy: Saints
Sure the Broncos will be fresh off the bye, and I actually think they’ll pull it out–just not by a touchdown.
DRK: Saints
Rory: Broncos
Allow me to do the opposite of what I said in Redskins/Steelers pick.
DP Animal: Broncos
The 3-3 record hides the fact that the Broncos have actually played quite well despite a brutal schedule.
Phanatic: Saints
49ERS (-7.5) AT CARDINALS
Stone: 49ers
Is it possible for John Skelton to throw six pick-sixes?
Slumdeezy: Cardinals
DRK: 49ers
Rory: Cardinals
These stinkin’ Cardinals games cause my picks record to be terrible.
DP Animal: 49ers
Phanatic: Cardinals
This spread seems unfair for the Cards at home.
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 24-18 (Last night: 4-2)
DP Animal: 21-21 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 21-21 (4-2)
Rory: 19-23 (3-3)
Phanatic: 18-24 (3-3)
DRK: 15-27 (2-4)
I’m about to say something controversial so hold on. I love boobs. OK, that’s not the controversial part, but why do we have to watch an entire month of football where the players look like fucking Easter eggs? I know wearing pink is for breast cancer awareness but do we really have to celebrate it for a quarter of the season?
There are so many other causes. Let’s mix it up. Blue for prostate cancer. Orange for Chuckstrong. Heck, even go rainbow for gay rights. Let’s just agree that we’re only going to take a week or two every season and get all dressed up. It would have a much bigger impact anyway. The pink has run it’s course. Maybe it’s just that the Giants always play great in October and I’m sick of looking at highlights of Victor Cruz doing the salsa like he’s covered in cotton candy. Or maybe the Giants always play great in October because of the pink. Must be Eli’s favorite color. On second thought, I take everything I said back. Let’s make some picks.
CARDINALS AT VIKINGS (-6.5)
Stone: Vikings
Skelton/Kolb is the worst football duo since Finkle and Einhorn.
Slumdeezy: Cardinals
In honor of their about-to-be-in-the-World-Series baseball brethren.
DRK: Cardinals
Rory: Cardinals
I feel this is a bounce back game for the Kolb Klan.
DP Animal: Vikings
There’s nothing quite as engaging as a quarterback controversy where both options kind of suck.
Phanatic: Cardinals
This line confuses me.
RAVENS AT TEXANS (-6.5)
Stone: Ravens
Good teams don’t fall apart with the loss of one or two players.
Slumdeezy: Texans
DRK: Ravens
Rory: Texans
Those injuries on the Ravens won’t help them win. I think.
DP Animal: Texans
Losing LaDarius Webb will hurt the Ravens more than losing Ray Lewis.
Phanatic: Ravens
COWBOYS (-2.5) AT PANTHERS
Stone: Panthers
The Cowbots always make me LOL.
Slumdeezy: Cowboys
DRK: Panthers
Rory: Panthers
Ha ha! Keith wrote Packers instead of Panthers when he originally sent out the lines! Take that!
DP Animal: Cowboys
Phanatic: Panthers
I hope I hope I hope.
JETS AT PATRIOTS (-10.5)
Stone: Jets
Somehow.
Slumdeezy: Patriots
DRK: Jets
Rory: Jets
I just don’t think the best team in the league is 10 points better than the worst team. And these teams are neither the best nor the worst.
DP Animal: Patriots
Phanatic: Jets
10.5 is mean after last week.
STEELERS (-1.5) AT BENGALS
Stone: Steelers
Have we decided if the Steelers suck yet?
Slumdeezy: Steelers
Who knows?
DRK: Bengals
Rory: Steelers
I just think the Steelers are better. But, hey, look at my gambling record.
DP Animal: Bengals
Oh AJ Green, you’re so good, and no one seems to care.
Phanatic: Steelers
LIONS AT BEARS (-6.5)
Stone: Lions
Now that everyone’s high on the Bears, it’s their turn to fall.
Slumdeezy: Lions
DRK: Lions
Rory: Bears
And the Bears are a very good team. The end.
DP Animal: Bears
I think it’s time we all agreed that Matt Stafford isn’t very good.
Phanatic: Lions
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 20-16 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 18-18 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 17-19 (3-3)
Rory: 16-20 (2-4)
Phanatic: 15-21 (3-3)
DRK: 13-23 (0-6)
“Don’t you dare! We have a beautiful stadium. The Lord God gave it to us, and let’s ennnnjoyyyyyyyyyyy and winnnnnnnn innnnnnnn the seconddddddddd haaaaaaaaalfffffffff.”
How much lower can this season go for the Jets? Their best two players are done for the season. Their quarterback is garbage. The backup is one of the most exciting, newsworthy players in the league, coming off a magical playoff season but he can’t get off the bench for more than a few plays for some reason. Now, one of your greatest players of all-time slurs his way to the Ring of Honor and makes Joe Namath look like he has self-control. How are they still serving alcohol at Jets alumni functions?
The funniest thing is since nobody cares about the Jets, the speech barely made any ripples in the news. A replay on Francesa and that’s all we have on YouTube. Can a Jets fan please post a video taken with your cell phone? Or can Jets fans not afford cell phones with cameras? Hey, stop it, stop booing me. Don’t you dare! When a drunkenly belligerent and God-fearing Mark Gastineau is talking down to you, you know you’ve hit rock bottom, Jets fans. Enjoy the rest of the season. Now let’s make some picks. Hallelujah!
COWBOYS AT RAVENS (-3.5)
Stone: Ravens
I just can’t pick a QB who had a wedding video like this.
Slumdeezy: Ravens
Pretty much picking this because I like the Ray Lewis/Tom Brady football safety PSA sponsored by the NFL and NFLPA.
DRK: Ravens
Rory: Ravens
I don’t know why I still believe in the Ravens after last week’s performance. But I still don’t believe in the Cowboys.
DP Animal: Ravens
They seem to play to the level of their competition.
Phanatic: Ravens
This one I had real trouble with but I think the Cowboys are due for a beatdown. A girl can dream.
LIONS AT EAGLES (-4.5)
Stone: Lions
I thought it was tough being a Giants fan last year. Can’t imagine what Phanatic is going through.
Slumdeezy: Lions
Cats eat birds.
DRK: Eagles
Rory: Lions
I’m still shaken after last week’s abysmal performance (and my general subpar performance overall). Take this pick with a grain of salt.
DP Animal: Lions
Nick Foles Watch is in full effect.
Phanatic: Lions
Something tells me the Eagles will be within 1-3 points in this one.
PATRIOTS (-4.5) AT SEAHAWKS
Stone: Seahawks
I’m never going against the Seahawks at home.
Slumdeezy: Patriots
DRK: Patriots
Rory: Patriots
But believe in this pick. Another shoe-in!
DP Animal: Seahawks
Homer pick? Maybe, but the Seahawks have already shut down Aaron Rodgers, Tony Romo, and Cam Newton. They can add Tom Brady to the list.
Phanatic: Patriots
Even with the 12th Man.
GIANTS AT 49ERS (-6.5)
Stone: Giants
The last time these two teams played, Eli Manning had the game of his career. He’s not going to be intimidated by this D.
Slumdeezy: 49ers
Considering it’s at SF, the Giants are atop the division and tend to get lazy at such times, it’s not the playoffs so Eli won’t care, and the Niners are probably going to the Super Bowl, I hope it’s OK to pick against my G-Men just this once.
DRK: 49ers
Rory: Giants
Love the Giants playing anywhere but New Jersey. Maybe they should move to Brooklyn as well.
DP Animal: Giants
This will be a hell of a game.
Phanatic: Giants
This game screams field goal at the last second to win it.
PACKERS AT TEXANS (-3.5)
Stone: Texans
Slumdeezy: Packers
DRK: Texans
Rory: Texans
Poor Packers. This season just keeps getting worse and worse.
DP Animal: Texans
Is it possible the Packers are just OK?
Phanatic: Texans
At home, against a struggling Packer team, Houston gets to stay undefeated one more week.
BRONCOS AT CHARGERS (-1.5)
Stone: Chargers
Fuck it if I can understand either team, but home field usually means something in the AFC West.
Slumdeezy: Broncos
PEYTON!
DRK: Chargers
Rory: Chargers
Another team, like the Ravens, that I have no business believing in. But I do!
DP Animal: Broncos
Phanatic: Broncos
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 17-13 (Last week: 1-5)
DP Animal: 14-16 (1-5)
Rory: 14-16 (2-4)
Slumdeezy: 14-16 (3-3)
DRK: 13-17 (2-4)
Phanatic: 12-18 (2-4)
Let’s say you’re having people over for dinner and your girl sends you to the supermarket for vanilla ice cream. It’s about as generic a dessert as it gets. Not great but everyone will eat it, and pretty much all vanilla ice cream tastes the same. Well, only an asshole who doesn’t bet on football would notice any differences, anyway. By definition, it’s vanilla. Now you get to the ice cream aisle and there are two brands of vanilla. One costs $5 and the other costs $6. Which one are you going to choose? Obviously the $5 brand.
Last week, the Seahawks were giving 3.5 points to the Rams on the road. Both teams had 1 win (2 for Seattle if you count the Refpocalypse) and were as vanilla as it gets. However, the Hawks had all the hype from Monday night and Russell Wilson’s magic and became favorites against a team with a legit home-field advantage. Sure, Seattle’s finest was probably a better tasting vanilla, but fuck it if I wasn’t going to pay more for it.
The game was a mediocre affair on both sides and St. Louis prevailed on a couple of bombs from their kicker Greg the Leg and some special teams trickery. The lesson? Avoid the hype. Vanilla is vanilla. Don’t pay extra for it. And if you ask me, the Vikings are looking pretty vanilla this week with some nice purple sprinkles on top. I’m hungry. Let’s make some picks.
FALCONS (-3.5) AT REDSKINS
Stone: Redskins
The Redskins always keep it tight at home.
Slumdeezy: Redskins
DRK: Redskins
Rory: Falcons
Seriously? One of the best teams in the league against one of the worst? Yes, please!
DP Animal: Falcons
Phanatic: Falcons
EAGLES AT STEELERS (-3.5)
Stone: Steelers
Oh, Lawrence Tynes, why couldn’t your leg be a tiny bit stronger?
Slumdeezy: Eagles
DRK: Steelers
Rory: Steelers
Either the Steelers win this game big, or the Eagles win by 1 point. I feel the Eagles are about due to show their true colors.
DP Animal: Steelers
This is a huge game for Pittsburgh: if they get Polamalu, Harrison, and Mendenhall back and still struggle, the questions will get awfully loud.
Phanatic: Eagles
Clearly they like to nestle up in those close games and this will be no different.
SEAHAWKS AT PANTHERS (-3.5)
Stone: Seahawks
Vanilla.
Slumdeezy: Seahawks
DRK: Panthers
Rory: Panthers
I hate this game. Boo on Keith for making us pick this.
DP Animal: Panthers
Well, it only took four games, but we once again have a QB controversy in Seattle. I won’t bore you with the long rant I have planned, but suffice it to say that while Russell Wilson has not played particularly well, the Seahawks have also run an offense that would be at home in the 1970s. You simply can’t win in the modern NFL only throwing the ball 35% of the time.
Phanatic: Panthers
Boring.
BRONCOS AT PATRIOTS (-7.5)
Stone: Broncos
Peyton has a lot to prove in this one.
Slumdeezy: Broncos
DRK: Patriots
Rory: Patriots
I feel last week the Patriots definitely got their mojo back.
DP Animal: Broncos
I wonder what the storyline heading into this game will be?
Phanatic: Broncos
They’ll at least cover, with Peyton helping his team play over their potential and Brady under-performing this season except against the lowly Bills.
CHARGERS AT SAINTS (-3.5)
Stone: Chargers
I don’t get why Payton and Loomis get to go to this game. Isn’t part of their punishment that they’re not allowed to be a part of potential moments like this?
Slumdeezy: Chargers
DRK: Saints
Rory: Chargers
Everyone realizes the Saints aren’t very good, right?
DP Animal: Chargers
It’s pretty amazing that the 0-4 Saints are favored (by 3.5, no less) over the 3-1 Chargers.
Phanatic: Chargers
I think I’ll take the Saints as my new team never to pick no matter what. Last year it was the Bills…Saints welcome to the club!
TEXANS (-9.5) AT JETS
Stone: Texans
This is the Drago-Creed of Monday Night games.
Slumdeezy: Jets
DRK: Texans
Rory: Texans
Tebow begins this week.
DP Animal: Texans
The Jets suck.
Phanatic: Texans
By 24.
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 16-8 (Last week: 4-2)
DP Animal 13-11 (2-4)
Rory: 12-12 (2-4)
Slumdeezy: 11-13 (1-5)
DRK: 11-13 (4-2)
Phanatic: 10-14 (3-3)
Rainman Suite 