>Boobs McGee Attempts Suicide, In Coma

Posted: February 16, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, ridiculous
0

>

It’s not all fun and games in The Suite. Sometimes, you just need to cover the serious stuff. This is one of those times. Sheyla Hershey, formerly of the world’s biggest tits, is in a coma after intentionally overdosing on pills yesterday. She originally had MMM-size boobies but had them removed after contacting an infection. Hershey was scheduled to have KKK cups (racist!) re-implanted today. On reclaiming her crown, Hershey said, “Once I reclaim my identity as the World’s Biggest Boobs I can be a better role model for my daughter.” I can honestly say I wish there were more moms like her out there. Here’s wishing her a speedy recovery with more pictures:

The Sun
sheylahershey.net

>What’s Trending?

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in Justin Bieber, Twitter
0

>

It’s a slow news day, so I decided to check out Twitter and see what the cool kids were talking about in The Greatest City in the World. In another sign of the downfall of society, Justin Bieber’s recent Grammy loss to Esperanza Spalding was part of 4 of the top 8 trends. It was two days ago! PLAY WITH YOUR HELLO KITTY STICKERS ALREADY AND GET OVER IT! I know teenage girls are passionate but this is crazy. Maybe this is why I never had a girlfriend in middle school. I wish we could harness this energy and use it when the Knicks play the Celtics (as long as the Biebs doesn’t show up at the Garden.) Justin Bieber is more unstoppable than Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. As for now, we are left with gems like these:

@JDBieberSpark: RT this if you’re #proudofjustin NO MATTER WHAT. ❤
@DreamandBeliebe: JUSTIN WON !!! @justinbieber Your always a winner to us. 😉
@TechnoBieber: Esperanza Spalding, go make 3 albums, write a book, finish a tour, be in your own movie, all in one year and all at 16. Then hit me up.

I will now drink paint thinner.

>Wrestling Video of the Week: Finally The Rock Has Come Back

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in Slobberknocker, The Rock, videos
0

>

The Rock came back to the WWF yesterday for the first time in 7 years and the most electrifying man in all of entertainment did not disappoint. He called out John Cena, laid the smacketh down on Michael Cole, and most importantly raised the People’s Eyebrow. He even got bleeped out several times. It was a welcome reminder of the good old days of Steve Austin and Mick Foley. Hopefully, today’s wrestlers will be forced to up their game. The Rock will be hosting WrestleMania XXVII and if yesterday’s performance is any indication it is going to be a must-see event.

>Trivia Time: 2/14/11 Edition

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in The Office, trivia
1

>

I love trivia and we need more of it in the Suite. So it’s Trivia Time. Winning answer in the Comments wins the best prize in the world, a post on Rainman Suite. If nobody wins, I will graciously accept the prize like the champion that I am. Here’s the question:

What is the first name of the receptionist on The Office?

>Rihanna: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Rihanna
0

>

The Grammys Red Carpet show was pretty lame. And then I saw Rihanna. I actually said, “dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum” out loud. It’s like she wearing a dress but it’s also like she’s naked. More girls need to dress like this. You know Rihanna’s really a freak. Chris Brown got a bad rap. She probably made him hit her while she was handcuffed in a leather bondage outfit. Shia used to date her too. Kid knows what’s up. He’s a trendsetter. Knew what was in that dress before the rest of us. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Best Go NY Go???

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks
0

>

First, Landry Fields absolutely kills it working at that Modell’s. Now, he’s starring in a hilarious version of Go NY Go with the kid that lip syncs on YouTube and some assorted friends. Personally, I think it’s Andy Rautins’s best work all season. So now is it better than the immortal 1994 video? Feel free to answer in the Comments. Just remember, you do not want to make Anthony Mason angry.

>Lady Gaga is Steve Urkel

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in Lady Gaga, ridiculous, Steve Urkel
0

>

Lady Gaga arrived to the Grammys last night in an egg. My friends and I had no idea what was going on when they showed it. At first, I thought she was helping to carry the egg but then we realized she was in the egg. I don’t know how she came up with the idea or why she thanked Whitney Houston during her acceptance speech but that’s another story. I’m a little concerned about Gaga, though, and I want to look out for a fellow NYUer. I love the antics, the songs, the outfits, the videos. I watched the Telephone video like 12 times in a row. But she’s moving from crazy to weird and that’s a dangerous step.

I used to love Family Matters. Steve Urkel FTW. He would break stuff and snort and somehow outsmart the school bullies at the end of the day. And he always got turned down by Laura. Then, created Urkelbot. That was like Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Crazy, interesting, funny. It was an acceptable level of zaniness. Enter Stefan Urquelle. A cool Steve Urkel clone? It was funny but it was just too much. It was weird and the show lacked the same spirit it had in earlier years. And that’s where it went downhill. Within a few years, Family Matters was stuck on CBS and Carl was prostituting himself in Grant Park to fund a serious drug habit (I think, I had stopped watching the show by then.)

I believe last night was Lady Gaga’s Stefan Urquelle moment. The similarities are eerie. When she emerged from her egg, like Stefan from his transformation chamber, it was just weird. She’s taken everything to a whole different level. Lady Gaga is falling off the face of the Earth, and coincidentally the last episode of Family Matters saw Steve Urkel in space. Hopefully, Gaga slows down before she’s too far gone. Let’s not forget that Steve Urkel was a pretty good dancer too back in his day.

>NBA’s 65 Greatest Shots

Posted: February 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, basketball
0

>

Like Dani said, if you don’t have a valentine, you gotta care of yourself. Watching the 65 greatest shots in basketball history definitely helps. Hoopism put together the collection and it is amazing. Each shot is diagrammed on the court below the video. I spent about 45 minutes clicking around. Might I recommend the 4-point play? Enjoy!

>Hold Onto That V-Card…

Posted: February 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in February 14, Valentine's Day
0

>

If you’re one of those people who think Cupid is stupid, loathes love, and would rather receive a Morticia Addams-style bouquet of roses than the red velvety kind, then Valentine’s Day is probably not what you’ve been waiting all year for.

From the time we are kids, Valentine’s Day is a “holiday” we are expected to celebrate regardless if we are in love, believe in love, or even think we know what love is. We are instructed to bring in a valentine card for every person in the class, that way no one is left without one. Where is the exclusivity in that?

I am actually not a VDay hater. I think Valentine’s Day is one of the most brilliantly marketed concepts ever run with. The greeting cards conveying one’s love and affection between intimate companions, heart-shaped boxed chocolates, traditional dozen red roses, various cute stuffed animals, sexy lingerie, and of course don’t forget prix fixe menus! Bottom line, we all know Vday is also just another excuse to have sex; however on February 14, you all need to work a little haaaarder for it. Sorry guys!

But what if you don’t have someone to share this special “Hallmark Holiday” with? Right there is where marketers are going wrong…forgetting about all of us who are still singles in the city. I suggest this Valentine’s Day if your relationship status doesn’t fall under “married,” “in a relationship,” “it’s complicated,” “whipped”….whatever, don’t forget about the most important relationship you have is with yourself. Being able to love “you” and own that feeling will be the best and most original Valentine you will ever receive. Treat yourself to a special dinner, buy something you’ve been eyeing, or grab a couple of friends to fall in(toxicated) love. Embrace this VDay non-traditionally; because who is to say how Valentine’s Day should be celebrated?

Wishing you a Happy/Crappy Valentine’s Day! XXOO Dani

>Brooklyn Decker: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, Brooklyn Decker, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
0

>


When I first saw the trailer for Just Go With It, the first thing that popped into my head after “What the fuck happened to Adam Sandler’s career?” was “Who is the chick in the yellow bikini?” It turns out it’s Brooklyn Decker, one of my favorites. I saw more and more trailers and I swear that the movie looked better and better each time. Now, I have Just Go With It as my early favorite for Best Picture for the 2012 Oscars. I blame the yellow bikini. Jen Aniston is nice in her own right but Brooklyn Decker blows her off the screen. Nicole Kidman is apparently in the movie (why?) and she will blown off screen by Brooklyn Decker. Brooklyn Decker is like an unstoppable asteroid but instead of destroying Earth, she destroys other chicks’ self-esteems. Can you imagine Jen sitting on set reading In Touch about how Brad and Angelina adopted another African kid and all of a sudden Brooklyn Decker shows up with those majestic 23-year-old tits? Must’ve been a busy week for Jen Aniston’s shrink. The only bad thing about Brooklyn Decker is that she’s married to that frat boy tennis player Andy Roddick. It’s just like college. Brooklyn Decker is too good for him and she’s too good for only one exclamation. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Older Entries
Newer Entries