Jaime King: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: May 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Jaime King
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I just finished watching the movie Slackers. Underrated flick starring the incomparable Devon Sawa. It definitely belongs in the same category as Van Wilder and PCU. However, the female leads in those movies are Tara Reid and Jeremy Piven’s receding hairline, respectively. Jaime King blows them both away. You might not remember her because she was going by the name “James King” at the time. Probably not the best career choice. She changed her name to Jaime and recovered nicely to play a hooker in Sin City. Can’t wait for the sequel. Plus, the tat over her box is divine. If I had a choice between saving a starving child in Africa or licking her tattoo, I’d go with the latter. Sorry African kids.  I’m weak. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Trivia Time: Mother’s Day Edition

Posted: May 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in Mother's Day, trivia
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Mama Stone had a great weekend. Breakfast in bed. Flowers. Poems. That’s just the way I treat my ladies. A woman named Anna Jarvis created Mother’s Day in 1908, but later became one of its biggest critics after it became highly commercialized by the greeting card companies. That leads us to our question. Get it right and I won’t kiss your mama. The answer is after the jump.

What year did Mother’s Day become an official national holiday in the United States? (and a hint: it’s after 1908)

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Gal Gadot: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: May 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Gal Gadot
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Normally, Gal Gadot would be the best part of any movie she’s in. The former Miss Israel looks great in a bikini and loves wearing them. Unfortunately, she has to share the screen with Vin Diesel and The Rock in Fast Five so she may have been the 30th best part of the movie. I didn’t even mention Paul Walker, Ludacris, and Jordana Brewster’s frozen face. What an epic film. Vin Diesel’s acting is on par with a stroke victim with down syndrome and the gang dragging a giant safe through the streets of Rio may have been the most realistic part of it all. I didn’t understand a second of it but luckily there were laughs throughout. Can’t wait for Part 6. Especially if Gal is in it. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Jabroni of the Week: Andre Leon Talley

Posted: May 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in Andre Leon Talley, jabronis
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Andre Leon Talley is the former editor-at-large for Vogue so presumably he’d be a fashionable guy. At the MET Costume Gala on Monday night, he instead looked like a gay Jabba the Hutt. It looks like Talley spilled something on his tux beforehand and didn’t have a backup so he grabbed his bedsheet. Either that, or it’s a XXXL Snuggie.

It bothers me that all these fashion people can wear whatever they want and nobody calls them on it. Dude is wearing a blue bedsheet. What the fuck?!?! Lady Gaga wears a dress out of Kermit the Frog dolls and it’s great. I wear brown shoes with a black belt and every single one of my friends has to point it out. Sometimes I just want to wear my Eli Manning jersey and jean shorts without getting weird looks. The Notorious ALT could probably pull that off at a funeral.

Andre, baby, you’re better than this. From the looks of it, the tuxedo underneath your bedsheet looks perfectly fine. You’re giving all the fashion guys out there a bad name. Do you think Karl Laggerfeld would wear something like that? On second thought, don’t answer. Just remember, the simpler the better and don’t wear white after Labor Day. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

Dlisted

Lady Gaga Debuts Spanish Song “Americano” In Guadalajara

Posted: May 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in Lady Gaga, ridiculous, Steve Urkel, U!S!A!
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This week at her concert in Guadalajara, Lady Gaga sang her new bilingual song Americano for the first time. The tune inlcudes references to “Jesus Cristo” and lyrics such as “Mis canciones son de la revolucion/Mi corazon late por mi generacion” o en ingles, “My songs are of the revolution/My heart beats for my generation.” Gaga says the song is about immigration law and gay marriage. Ladies and gentlemen, Lady Gaga is an idiot.

PopCrush

Josh Thole Teaches Dog Sign Language

Posted: May 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Josh Thole, Mets, MLB, ridiculous
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When Mets catcher Josh Thole and his wife discovered that their dog was deaf, they decided to teach it doggie sign language. Ladies and gentlemen, Josh Thole is an idiot.

NY Daily News

The Maxim Hot 100 List Is Garbage

Posted: May 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in chicks, Maxim, ridiculous
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The Maxim Hot 100 is always good for a laugh. Although Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a very solid pick for #1, it seems like the list was created by seventh graders (maybe since it’s Maxim’s target demo). Where’s Amber Lancaster? Where’s Amber Heard? Was there some sort of ban against hot chicks named Amber? I get that Olivia Munn likes video games and Star Wars and she’s pretty cute, but #2?!?!?!?!? Is she hotter than January Jones? Brooklyn Decker was #36! Any list in which Brooklyn Decker is #36 is flawed. There are simply not 35 other chicks that are hotter than Brooklyn Decker in the world. It’s like saying The Beatles are the 36th greatest band of all-time.

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Coach Eli

Posted: May 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in Eli, football, Giants, Hoboken, NFL, NFL lockout
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Barred from working out at the team’s training facility until the NFL lockout is over, several Giants players led by Eli Manning have been practicing at Hoboken High School this week. The sessions are focused on passing so Eli and his receivers can remain acclimated with each other and stay in football shape. Kevin Boss, Hakeem Nicks, and Mario Manningham have been among the receivers at practice, while David Diehl was there for moral support. Imagine being in class, looking out the window, and seeing a Super Bowl MVP in action. Fucking awesome. Although with Eli in charge, there’s no knowing if kill the carrier or capture the flag will eventually become part of the daily routine. I just hope nobody pees on the street or they may miss the beginning of the season doing community service.

Daily News

Vida Guerra: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: May 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Vida Guerra
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Today is Cinco de Mayo. To celebrate the Mexican victory over the French in 1862, it’s only appropriate to do it with a chick with a little junk in her culo. I’m not even sure that Vida Guerra is Mexican but she can be my cleaning lady anytime. Seriously, I’d beat that ass like a pinata. Tequila and sombreros for everybody! Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Simpsons Video of the Week: Homer Goes To Hell

Posted: May 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in Simpsons, U!S!A!, videos
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In honor of Osama bin Laden, this week’s Simpsons video has Homer going to hell after selling his soul to the devil (Ned Flanders, obviously) for a donut. His punishment is delicious.

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