Posts Tagged ‘football’

I don’t know whether it’s increasing parity, the loss of home-field advantage, or just the end of the world, but I really don’t have a grip on this season at all, highlighted by my awful Pats-Colts pick last week. I can’t imagine that anybody does. How many teams have we seen look like they have things figured out only to fuck it up at some point? I can think of the Cardinals, Giants, Bears, Ravens, Chargers, and Steelers right off the top of my head. And it’s not like traditionally strong teams like the Patriots and Packers have been world beaters either. The Texans and Falcons have the best records but have hardly been impressive.

There’s about 10 teams that could legitimately make the Super Bowl. In WEEK 12, that’s crazy and it doesn’t bode well when trying to make picks. So instead of trying to find a rhyme or reason for anything, I looked at the matchups and picked the first team that came into my head. That’s right. These picks were made with pure instinct. It’s how the cavemen survived and it’s how I hopefully hold off the suddenly creeping competitors of the Six-Pack Challenge. It’s time to go back to basics…

BILLS AT COLTS (-3.5)
Stone: Colts
Who would have thought that this game would have huge playoff implications?

Slumdeezy: Colts

DRK: Colts

Rory: Colts
I’m still a believer in Luck, even after that epic beatdown.

DP Animal: Colts

Phanatic: Colts

FALCONS (-1.5) AT BUCCANEERS
Stone: Falcons
The Falcons have to be the weakest 9-1 team in history.

Slumdeezy: Buccaneers

DRK: Falcons

Rory: Buccaneers

DP Animal: Falcons
I expect the offense to get back on track, if for no other reason than that Matt Ryan can’t keep throwing five interceptions a game.

Phanatic: Falcons
I’m surprised this line isn’t larger.

SEAHAWKS (-3.5) AT DOLPHINS
Stone: Dolphins
Let me know when the Hawks are back in Seattle.

Slumdeezy: Seahawks

DRK: Seahawks

Rory: Seahawks

DP Animal: Seahawks
This is the kind of game that will give us Seahawks fans a sense for just how good this team is. Normally, Seattle is terrible in early games on the East Coast, and the Dolphins are just good enough that they could cause problems. That said, this is the best Seahawks team since 2005, and what the hell, I believe!

Phanatic: Dolphins

RAVENS (-1.5) AT CHARGERS
Stone: Ravens
These two teams have a lot to prove.

Slumdeezy: Ravens

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Ravens
Seriously?  Chargers suck.

DP Animal: Ravens
I’ll take my chances against Norval.

Phanatic: Ravens

RAMS AT CARDINALS (-2.5)
Stone: Rams
Sorry, Rory’s girlfriend.

Slumdeezy: Cardinals

DRK: Cardinals

Rory: Cardinals
I swear, Keith keeps putting in Cardinals games to ruin my picks record.

DP Animal: Rams

Phanatic: Cardinals
Beanie Wells is the difference maker.

PACKERS AT GIANTS (-3.5)
Stone: Giants
Hopefully, the BYE week did the Champs a ton of good.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Giants

Rory: Packers
I think my Giants aren’t going to be happy this week.

DP Animal: Giants
As good as Aaron Rodgers is, his shaky offensive line and depleted wide receiver corps will let him down.

Phanatic: Packers
Gmen can’t keep up in a potential shootout.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 38-28 (Last week: 3-3)
Rory: 35-31 (4-2)
DP Animal: 34-32 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 34-32 (5-1)
Phanatic: 32-34 (4-2)
DRK: 30-36 (4-2)

Last week’s picks


Every year there’s one. In 2011, it was the Broncos that rode the tide of fate, destiny, chemistry, and luck into the playoffs from nowhere. This season, it certainly seems like the Colts are doing the same. With Chuck Pagano recovering from leukemia and the team generally recently put together, a subpar season appeared to be on the horizon, but Indy has been impressive with wins over Green Bay and Miami. A future schedule that features Buffalo, Detroit, Tennessee, and Kansas City along with the AFC sucking has the Colts in prime position for the playoffs.

Beware: there are always bumps in the road for the Team of Destiny. Remember how the Pats manhandled Tebow last year? But dammit, if you watch Pagano’s locker room speech and don’t feel like running through a wall, you oughta take a hike. I’m a Giants fan and I’m rooting for the Colts. The Horseshoe isn’t gonna make it to the Super Bowl but I’ll take them Sunday. Indy 42, Pats 39. And now for the rest of our lovely picks…

EAGLES AT REDSKINS (-3.5)
Stone: Redskins
Growing pains for Nick Foles. Still better than a concussion.

Slumdeezy: Redskins

DRK: Redskins

Rory: Redskins
Come on Redskins. If this was the Giants, you’d beat them by 14. Cover this game.

DP Animal: Redskins

Phanatic: Eagles
This is the last time I pick them. This is the last time I pick them. Riding the folesmobile.

PACKERS (-3.5) AT LIONS
Stone: Packers
Seems like so long ago that the Lions were good.

Slumdeezy: Packers

DRK: Packers

Rory: Packers
Aren’t the Packers one of the best teams in the league?

DP Animal: Packers

Phanatic: Packers

BENGALS (-3.5) AT CHIEFS
Stone: Chiefs
If their home crowd doesn’t boo them too much. 

Slumdeezy: Bengals

DRK: Bengals

Rory: Bengals
Aren’t the Chiefs one of the worst teams in the league?

DP Animal: Bengals
Being a sports fan in Kansas City must make death seem like a good thing.

Phanatic: Bengals

COLTS AT PATRIOTS (-9.5)
Stone: Colts
Chuck Strong.

Slumdeezy: Patriots

DRK: Patriots

Rory: Colts
These teams can’t not never play a lousy game.

DP Animal: Colts
Just a hunch.

Phanatic: Colts
Cover and win! Yea I said it.

CHARGERS AT BRONCOS (-7.5)
Stone: Chargers
The Super Chargers always play well in Denver.

Slumdeezy: Broncos

DRK: Broncos

Rory: Broncos
Dream season for the Broncos will continue. Like the Ewing Theory, there should be something called the Tebow Theory, where a team automatically gets better once they get rid of a false idol.

DP Animal: Broncos

Phanatic: Chargers
At least a cover.

RAVENS (-3.5) AT STEELERS
Stone: Ravens
I’m sticking with my Ravens Super Bowl pick.

Slumdeezy: Steelers

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Steelers
I just feel this will be a close and ugly game.  Ravens may win, but with some weird score like 16-14.

DP Animal: Ravens
In the time it’s taken for me to think about, and then make this pick, Byron Leftwich has ALMOST completed his throwing motion.

Phanatic: Steelers

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 35-25 (Last week: 4-2)
DP Animal: 31-29 (3-3)
Rory: 31-29 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 29-31 (1-5)
Phanatic: 28-32 (2-4)
DRK: 26-34 (3-3)

Last week’s picks

2012 Giants WEEK 10 – Bungled

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Keith Stone in football, NFL
Tags: , , , ,

Bengals 31, Giants 13

This was about as bad as a football game could get. Despite the score, the Bengals didn’t really do much. They didn’t have any extended drives or big plays other than the first A.J. Green touchdown. They were brutally efficient, however. Anytime they got the ball in Giants territory, they converted, and they got the ball in Giants territory way too much.

The Bradshaw fumble was an absolute killer. Up until that point, I still thought the Giants were in control. Then, Eli starts treating the ball like it’s a hot potato and the game is over. Not giving the ball up has been key to the Giants’ good start so it’s baffling why they would start doing it against an also-ran like Cincy. This is the first time all year that they really seemed like they were pressing and I hope it’s not because of what people are saying in the press.

Who knows what the “problem” with the Giants is? I think Eli’s struggles are overrated. The offensive line struggled a lot and didn’t give him much time. Perhaps Snee’s injury is a concern. The dropoff from Sean Locklear to David Diehl might also play a part. I love Diehl. He’s a Champion, but at a certain time, you have to move on. That’s something Coach Coughlin is going to have to think about during the BYE.

And can we please get some more Andre the Giant? He is killing it every time he gets the ball. I don’t think Bradshaw is toast but I really feel that the Giants are a better team when Brown gets a majority of the carries. Whether or not he blocks as well is another aspect, but this is another thing to analyze over the BYE. The Giants need a spark and he could be it.

As a Giants fan, you still can’t complain. Your team is in first place by a game-and-a-half and the rest of the teams in the division look like clowns. Still the last two games were so uncommon for what we’re used to. Or is it? Is this just the second-half swoon that the Giants always have for some bizarre unknown reason? Or is 10 games in a row without a bye for an injury-depleted team just too draining? These guys better get their rest on and a few reinforcements, like Kenny Phillips, back because the first game up is against Green Bay and they’re definitely gonna be in a bad mood.

If you’ve watched a Saints game recently, you know that Drew Brees has the record for the most consecutive games with a touchdown. It’s a nice stat for an exceptional quarterback, but that’s all it is. A stat. I know it was a record that stood for a long time and he beat out Johnny Unitas for it, but I swear if I hear one more announcer make it sound like it’s some sort of magical accomplishment up there with Favre’s all-time TD record or Cal Ripken’s streak, I’m gonna smack a brother up. The goal of football is winning games, whether you score points through the air or on the ground. Unlike baseball, where except in certain circumstances hitting a home run is the ultimate outcome of any play, football is totally different.

Brees’s record is like the NBA record for most consecutive games with a 3-pointer. You know who holds that record? Dana Barros. Hardly memorable. The fact that the NFL allowed the Bountygate crew to attend the record-breaking game is laughable. I hope Brandon Weeden breaks the record and only has his streak stopped when he can’t find a team to sign with and goes to play in Canada. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to set the new mark for the most consecutive weeks with a correct pick. It’s that time again…

CHARGERS AT BUCCANEERS (-3.5)
Stone: Buccaneers
I would’ve taken any other team besides the Chargers against the Bucs this week.

Slumdeezy: Chargers

DRK: Chargers

Rory: Buccaneers
Yar! Pirates!

DP Animal: Buccaneers
The worst thing about this year’s Chargers is that they’re boring. Even when they were underachieving in previous seasons, they were somewhat interesting. No more.

Phanatic: Buccaneers
This game could so go in a million different directions so I’m going home field advantage.

FALCONS (-2.5) AT SAINTS
Stone: Saints
Forget the TD streak. Drew Brees’s best work this year has been in his Pepsi commercial with One Direction.

Slumdeezy: Falcons

DRK: Saints

Rory: Falcons
Seems a little low, but you never know with these two teams.

DP Animal: Falcons
While it figures that Atlanta will lose at least a game or two this season, and while this seems like a reasonable spot to expect that, the New Orleans defense is just so bad.

Phanatic: Falcons
Since they have the “pedigree” to go 19-0.

JETS AT SEAHAWKS (-6.5)
Stone: Seahawks
The refs should throw a flag on the 12th man in this one.

Slumdeezy: Seahawks
The opposite of Ivan Drago when they have home field advantage.

DRK: Jets

Rory: Jets
Seattle has a bye next week, so I’m still sticking with the “teams don’t cover before a bye week” theory.

DP Animal: Seahawks
Don’t look now, but Russell Wilson and the Seahawks offense are improving rapidly.

Phanatic: Seahawks
Russell Wilson is too goo right now and the Jets are too bad.

COWBOYS (-1.5) AT EAGLES
Stone: Eagles
Can’t wait to see how Jason Garrett screws this one up.

Slumdeezy: Eagles

DRK: Eagles

Rory: Cowboys
Go meteorite!

DP Animal: Cowboys
The freefall continues for Philly.

Phanatic: Eagles
I hope I got 5-1 again because of this damn game.

RAMS AT 49ERS (-11.5)
Stone: Rams
Take the points.

Slumdeezy: 49ers

DRK: Rams

Rory: Rams
But I don’t feel good about this pick.

DP Animal: 49ers

Phanatic: 49ers
Both teams coming off a bye week but SF also at home and with a big win in week 8.

TEXANS AT BEARS (-1.5)
Stone: Bears
Defense wins Championships.

Slumdeezy: Bears

DRK: Texans

Rory: Texans
Should be a fantastic game.

DP Animal: Bears
When in doubt, take the home team.

Phanatic: Bears

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 31-23 (Last week: 4-2)
DP Animal: 28-26 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 28-26 (4-2)
Rory: 27-27 (4-2)
Phanatic: 26-28 (5-1)
DRK: 23-31 (4-2)

Last week’s picks

After last week’s Pats-Rams game in London, everyone and their mom who is associated with the NFL seems to be clamoring for a team out there. On top of the fact that nobody in London cares or even knows the rules of football, there are so many logistical problems involved in this. What about when the Chargers play the London Jaguars? That’s like a 10-hour flight. In a sport where every game matters so much, a team’s season could get sunk by something that doesn’t happen on the field.

The London team would also have a ridiculous home-field advantage and horrible traveling disadvantage. And don’t think about hosting Monday Night Football. The game would start past midnight. The league is using London (and Los Angeles) as leverage so teams with bad stadium situations can get more public money. That’s all it is.

It’s shitty business, but if we’re going to con some taxpayers, we might as well have some fun. So may I introduce you to…the Las Vegas Rams! Nobody mentions Vegas seriously as a viable landing spot for a football team because of the gambling implications but it actually makes perfect sense.

Let’s assume we can get a stadium built within a 5-10 minute drive or a long walk from the Strip. Las Vegas doesn’t have the biggest population but you better believe the eight teams that play there as visitors every year are going to bring their fan base and pack the house. What would be better than a Vegas weekend centered around seeing your team play on Sunday? Yeah, whatever team is based there is pretty much going to be a road team every week but isn’t that better than having empty stadiums in Jacksonville, St. Louis, or Oakland? The NFL oozes violence and sex, so where better to put a team than Sin City? You know what else oozes violence and sex? Our picks. Picks!

BRONCOS (-3.5) AT BENGALS
Stone: Broncos
The Bengals really aren’t any good.

Slumdeezy: Broncos

DRK: Broncos

Rory: Broncos
Peyton is back! Wee!

DP Animal: Broncos
Turns out Peyton Manning is still pretty good, huh?

Phanatic: Broncos
I love not picking against Peyton.  And I love Peyton.  Did I mention I love Peyton?

DOLPHINS (-2.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Colts

Slumdeezy: Colts

DRK: Dolphins

Rory: Colts
Luck is back! Wee!

DP Animal: Dolphins
This Dolphins team is legitimately good. Not great, but good enough to go to Indy and win.

Phanatic: Colts
The Colts are on a high from last week while the Jets game was misleading for Miami.

VIKINGS AT SEAHAWKS (-5.5)
Stone: Vikings

Slumdeezy: Vikings

DRK: Seahawks

Rory: Vikings
Why not? Seattle’s home field is overrated anyway.

DP Animal: Vikings
I think the Seahawks will likely win, but that’s a lot of points to give in what is likely a low-scoring game
.

Phanatic: Seahawks
Russell Wilson has a huge game (this is a fantasy self-fulfilling prophecy I hope).

STEELERS AT GIANTS (-3.5)
Stone: Steelers
The Giants always let these home games stay close.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Giants

Rory: Giants
The Giants usually crap the bed in these games, but I just don’t like Pittsburgh.

DP Animal: Giants

Phanatic: Steelers

COWBOYS AT FALCONS (-4.5)
Stone: Falcons
This is where the Cowboys season starts to get out of hand.

Slumdeezy: Falcons

DRK: Falcons

Rory: Falcons
Really? This should be higher. It is the Cowboys, for Pete’s sake.

DP Animal: Falcons
They’ll just keep humming along.

Phanatic: Falcons
They’ll dismantle the Cowboys worse than they did the Eagles.

EAGLES AT SAINTS (-3.5)
Stone: Eagles
For better or for worse, a desperate Mike Vick is trying to save his job.

Slumdeezy: Saints

DRK: Saints

Rory: Saints
This will be a great week for Giants fans.

DP Animal: Saints

Phanatic: Eagles
The Eagles need a win desperately enough to get one.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 27-21 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 25-23 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 24-24 (3-3)
Rory: 23-25 (4-2)
Phanatic: 21-27 (3-3)
DRK: 19-29 (4-2)

Last week’s picks

After Lawrence Taylor won his court case this week against the 16-year-old prostitute that accused him of forcing himself on her, he said he wanted to go home and “to concentrate on my own broken life and try to repair that.” Since he retired, he’s been battling his demons with addiction but seemed to have everything under control after taking up golf. Yes, golf. I spoke to a well-known sports memorabilia honcho once who claimed to be good friends with LT and he told me that Taylor channeled his addiction into a passion for golf. It stoked his competitive fire as he played as many rounds a day as he could.

Of course, he fell off the good boy wagon with this latest arrest. It may not be as bad as drugs, but it’s still bad. Regardless of whether he knew the girl was underage, LT put himself in a terrible situation and is lucky to come out of it relatively unscathed. He’s one of the best of all-time on the field. Let’s hope he finds a support system that keeps him out of trouble.

So here’s my plan. Let’s start a company whose sole purpose is to find LT golf partners. I’d pay a couple hundred bucks to play a round with him and I’m sure other people would too. Can you imagine the stories he’d tell out on the links? While we’re at it, this company could find him a more legitimate ladyfriend every once in a while. Seriously, let’s hope he gets better and if you happen to be a friend of Lawrence, PLEASE KEEP HIM BUSY AND PLAY GOLF WITH HIM!!! It’s sad to see legends fall down. Too bad this picks legend has no shot of slowing down. Let’s do it…

FALCONS AT EAGLES (-2.5)
Stone: Eagles
The Falcons aren’t as good as their record.

Slumdeezy: Falcons

DRK: Falcons

Rory: Falcons
Who doesn’t love a birdfight? By the way, a “birdfight” is when you take a shot of Wild Turkey and a shot of Grey Goose, and let the birds fight it out in your stomach.  I usually take the Grey Goose shot first, but your mileage may vary.

DP Animal: Falcons

Phanatic: Falcons
But eagles win, Vick will magically have one of his strong games again and live to see another week as a starter.

DOLPHINS AT JETS (-2.5)
Stone: Dolphins
The Fins will have their vengeance.

Slumdeezy: Jets

DRK: Dolphins
Tim Tebow gives me bonerz.

Rory: Dolphins
Teams before their bye week are 1-13 against the spread, and the Jets have a bye next week.

DP Animal: Jets
I really have no idea about this game.

Phanatic: Jets
By a TD.

REDSKINS AT STEELERS (-4.5)
Stone: Redskins

Slumdeezy: Steelers
After getting to see RG3 perform awesomely against my team last week, it’s hard to pick against him, but it’s Pittsburgh at home.

DRK: Steelers

Rory: Redskins
The Redskins nearly beat the Giants last week, and I don’t really like the Steelers.  Plus, as Simmons says, pick the NFC over the AFC (although don’t listen to Simmons for gambling advice).

DP Animal: Redskins
I just don’t think the Steelers are very good.

Phanatic: Steelers
Home field advantage is huge in this one.

GIANTS (-2.5) AT COWBOYS
Stone: Giants
Eli is king.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Cowboys

Rory: Giants
I believe this line started with the Cowboys favored.  Regardless, I’m still picking the Giants, but I’m not as confident as I was week 1.

DP Animal: Giants

Phanatic: Giants

SAINTS AT BRONCOS (-6.5)
Stone: Saints
I’m sure the Broncos will be down 20+ at some point in the game. The question is: can they come back again?

Slumdeezy: Saints
Sure the Broncos will be fresh off the bye, and I actually think they’ll pull it out–just not by a touchdown.

DRK: Saints

Rory: Broncos
Allow me to do the opposite of what I said in Redskins/Steelers pick.

DP Animal: Broncos
The 3-3 record hides the fact that the Broncos have actually played quite well despite a brutal schedule.

Phanatic: Saints

49ERS (-7.5) AT CARDINALS
Stone: 49ers
Is it possible for John Skelton to throw six pick-sixes?

Slumdeezy: Cardinals

DRK: 49ers

Rory: Cardinals
These stinkin’ Cardinals games cause my picks record to be terrible.

DP Animal: 49ers

Phanatic: Cardinals
This spread seems unfair for the Cards at home.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 24-18 (Last night: 4-2)
DP Animal: 21-21 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 21-21 (4-2)
Rory: 19-23 (3-3)
Phanatic: 18-24 (3-3)
DRK: 15-27 (2-4)

Last week’s picks

I’m about to say something controversial so hold on. I love boobs. OK, that’s not the controversial part, but why do we have to watch an entire month of football where the players look like fucking Easter eggs? I know wearing pink is for breast cancer awareness but do we really have to celebrate it for a quarter of the season?

There are so many other causes. Let’s mix it up. Blue for prostate cancer. Orange for Chuckstrong. Heck, even go rainbow for gay rights. Let’s just agree that we’re only going to take a week or two every season and get all dressed up. It would have a much bigger impact anyway. The pink has run it’s course. Maybe it’s just that the Giants always play great in October and I’m sick of looking at highlights of Victor Cruz doing the salsa like he’s covered in cotton candy. Or maybe the Giants always play great in October because of the pink. Must be Eli’s favorite color. On second thought, I take everything I said back. Let’s make some picks.

CARDINALS AT VIKINGS (-6.5)
Stone: Vikings
Skelton/Kolb is the worst football duo since Finkle and Einhorn.

Slumdeezy: Cardinals
In honor of their about-to-be-in-the-World-Series baseball brethren.

DRK: Cardinals

Rory: Cardinals
I feel this is a bounce back game for the Kolb Klan.

DP Animal: Vikings
There’s nothing quite as engaging as a quarterback controversy where both options kind of suck.

Phanatic: Cardinals
This line confuses me.

RAVENS AT TEXANS (-6.5)
Stone: Ravens
Good teams don’t fall apart with the loss of one or two players.

Slumdeezy: Texans

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Texans
Those injuries on the Ravens won’t help them win.  I think.

DP Animal: Texans
Losing LaDarius Webb will hurt the Ravens more than losing Ray Lewis.

Phanatic: Ravens

COWBOYS (-2.5) AT PANTHERS
Stone: Panthers
The Cowbots always make me LOL.

Slumdeezy: Cowboys

DRK: Panthers

Rory: Panthers
Ha ha!  Keith wrote Packers instead of Panthers when he originally sent out the lines!  Take that!

DP Animal: Cowboys

Phanatic: Panthers
I hope I hope I hope.

JETS AT PATRIOTS (-10.5)
Stone: Jets
Somehow.

Slumdeezy: Patriots

DRK: Jets

Rory: Jets
I just don’t think the best team in the league is 10 points better than the worst team.  And these teams are neither the best nor the worst.

DP Animal: Patriots

Phanatic: Jets
10.5 is mean after last week.

STEELERS (-1.5) AT BENGALS
Stone: Steelers
Have we decided if the Steelers suck yet?

Slumdeezy: Steelers
Who knows?

DRK: Bengals

Rory: Steelers
I just think the Steelers are better.  But, hey, look at my gambling record.

DP Animal: Bengals
Oh AJ Green, you’re so good, and no one seems to care.

Phanatic: Steelers

LIONS AT BEARS (-6.5)
Stone: Lions
Now that everyone’s high on the Bears, it’s their turn to fall.

Slumdeezy: Lions

DRK: Lions

Rory: Bears
And the Bears are a very good team.  The end.

DP Animal: Bears
I think it’s time we all agreed that Matt Stafford isn’t very good.

Phanatic: Lions

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 20-16 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 18-18 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 17-19 (3-3)
Rory: 16-20 (2-4)

Phanatic: 15-21 (3-3)
DRK: 13-23 (0-6)

Last week’s picks