Trivia Time: Infectious Disease Edition

Posted: November 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in medicine, trivia

I hope you remember to wash your hands. Diseases kill millions upon millions worldwide, especially in poorer regions of the globe. However thanks to higher standards of hygiene, better education, and vaccination campaigns, certain viruses are declining and some have, in fact, been wiped out from the face of the Earth. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and I’ll give you mono. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

What is the only infectious disease to affect humans that has completely eradicated? (and a hint: it is not Jungle Fever)

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Paranormal Activity 4: The Haunted Testicle

Posted: November 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in marbles, medicine

When a 45-year-old dude from Ontario, Canada went to have an ultrasound of his testicle after feeling some pain, the last thing he expected was to see what appears to be a screaming face. But yeah, either that’s a picture of his future son or there’s somebody literally living in his nut. I guess the doctor’s prognosis must’ve involved an exorcist. Can you imagine a priest splashing holy water on this poor guy’s nutsack while screaming, “The power of Christ compels you?” Or maybe it’s like blue balls, except face balls. At least Queen James won’t have this problem because he doesn’t have any. I know, I know. Low blow.

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Romance Is Still Alive

Posted: November 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in chicks, romance

On the heels of the Kardashian divorce, it would seem like true love is impossible to find nowadays, but luckily there are people out there out to prove that it’s not. First, you have Brittany Hillard. Her boyfriend, Cameron, surprised her with a birthday party. How sweet. And then, BAM! Marriage proposal. Bitch goes down. Hard. That’s love, baby. It hurts.


Down in Houston, Ashley just got married and is in the middle of a very sweet moment: the father-daughter dance. All of a sudden, it’s booty-shaking galore. That’s how you celebrate giving your daughter away, by dirty dancing with her. If things don’t work out with her new husband, I guess Ashley always has Pops. Looks like love isn’t dead in America after all.

Smokin’ Joe

Posted: November 9, 2011 by Dinner Party Animal in boxing, Joe Frazier, RIP

Is it strange to consider one’s self a boxing fan, even if you could count on one hand the number of fights I’ve actually seen in real time? We’d certainly laugh at anyone who made a similar claim about baseball, or football, or even a slightly more obscure sport like hockey.  Such, however, is the fate of a 27-year-old boxing fan in 2011, when the only compelling fights happen at the lower weight classes, and even there the one fight everyone wants still hasn’t happened.  It’s nothing like the glory days, when the best athletes in the world boxed, and the Heavyweight Champion of the World was a title that deserved every one of those capital letters.

My boxing fandom is borne more out of my love of literature, because boxers make for far better stories than any other athlete.  The precise blend of poverty, desire, strength, and toughness means that every boxer is a tragic hero, a modern-day Achilles, slighted by the gods, or by Fate, and yet able to overcome the immense odds in order to achieve their one brief moment of glory, even as they inevitably meet their early demise.

The news of Joe Frazier’s death sparked a strange reaction in me when I first read about it yesterday.  Frazier was in many ways the epitome of the boxer-as-tragic-figure trope: born to almost unbelievably poor sharecroppers in South Carolina, he started boxing as a way to lose weight as a child and developed quite possibly the best left hook in boxing history by punching slabs of meat in Philadelphia decades before Sly Stallone made such things popular.

The origin story is interesting, but it’s of course his incredibly complex relationship with Muhammad Ali that raises the tragedy to Greek epic level.  If Ali was the visionary, the man destined to transcend the world of sport and become a global icon, then Frazier was just as destined to remain, at heart, a boxer.  Not gifted with Ali’s knack for self-promotion, he was doomed to forever be the straight man, the punchline, the rube.

It’s not often remembered that Frazier stood up for Ali during his fight against the US military.  Frazier referred to Ali as the true heavyweight champion (even if he did call him Cassius Clay), and even lent Ali’s family money during that time.  To then have Ali turn around and attack him remorselessly in the media, calling him an Uncle Tom, a gorilla, and the White Man’s champ, that was an indignity that he neither expected nor deserved.  Remember, Ali was the one from a (relatively) well-off black family, the lighter-skinned man, and the one with the movie-star good looks, while Frazier came from desperate poverty and had a face that, well, no one much minded if it got punched once or twice.  Denied much of a chance at schooling, it was only in the ring that he had a chance to express himself.

It was within that ring that Frazier showed the true measure of himself.  Short and light for a heavyweight, he was perhaps the most indomitable fighter of all time.  Legendary for his constant forward movement, Frazier remained unafraid of whomever else was in the ring against him.  It’s the trait that showed itself in both his single greatest moment, dealing Ali his first professional loss in a unanimous decision in the “Fight of the Century,” and then losing that heavyweight crown a year later to George Foreman while being knocked down six times in the first two rounds (“Down goes Frazier, down goes Frazier”).  Yet even in that fight against Foreman (quite possibly the hardest punching heavyweight of all time), Frazier got up off the mat all six times.

Let’s talk for a moment more about that first fight against Ali.  It remains the sporting event I’d most want to attend if I had a time machine, in part because of the sheer spectacle of it all.  Here you had two undefeated heavyweights meeting in Madison Square Garden for the Heavyweight Championship of the World, back when that was the most meaningful title in sports.  You had Ali, who had come back from prison as perhaps the most famous man in the world, a man who in the early part of his career had redefined what a heavyweight could be, but was something of a mystery since he’d had just a handful of fights in the buildup.  You then had Frazier, who seemed almost impossible to knock down, perhaps the strongest-willed man to ever step into a ring, at the absolute peak of his career.

Indeed, Frazier won in a unanimous decision, which remains one of the greatest wins in boxing history.  He remains, at least in my opinion, the only fighter to beat Ali during Ali’s prime.  Sadly for Frazier, instead of being the beginning of a long reign as the Heavyweight Champion of the World, it was the pinnacle of a career that would largely come to be defined by his heroic performances in defeat, his transformation from Achilles to Hector as it were.

Sadly, life isn’t just lived in the boxing ring, where things appear clear-cut.  Frazier’s deep animosity towards Ali, justified as it may be, remains the defining feature of his post-boxing life.  Forever cast as Ali’s nemesis, he may have been able to go toe-to-toe with the Greatest of All Time in the ring, but outside it he was ill-equipped to match words or wits with him.  Every so often, quotes would emerge about Frazier being glad about, or even gloating over, Ali’s illness.  It was as if by outliving Ali, he could somehow turn the tides on their rivalry.  The sad irony, of course, is that Ali has won even that fight between the two.

Still, Frazier remains a link to the glory days of the heavyweight division, a time when the true test of a man’s mettle involved trunks, gloves, and fifteen rounds.  Though his reign atop the sports world was short-lived, few men have reached the heights that Frazier himself scaled, and there have been few braver, tougher men in the history of sport.

After the 14th round of the Thrilla in Manila, Frazier’s eyes were virtually swollen shut.  As he tried to rise to answer the bell for the 15th and final round, his trainer Eddie Futch placed a hand on Frazier’s shoulder and said “It’s all over. No one will ever forget what you did here today.” No, we won’t.

Throwback: Fight of the Century

Posted: November 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in boxing, Joe Frazier, Muhammad Ali, Throwback, videos


Former heavywieght boxing Champion Joe Frazier died yesterday at the age of 67. He was a great fighter, and will forever be known for fighting Muhammad Ali at the Garden in the Fight of the Century. Both men went in undefeated but only one man, Frazier, left the ring that way.

Oh Jeeze

Posted: November 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in college football, Penn State, ridiculous

This is the autobiography of the coach accused of sexually assaulting children at Penn State. It is not photoshopped. If you’re a child molester, you CANNOT name your autobiography Touched.

Jabroni of the Week: Kim Kardashian

Posted: November 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, Kim Kardashian, romance

72 days. Everyone knows the Kardashian family is full of money-grubbing whores but this is an insult. Kim K Superstar made upwards of $17 million dollars for televising her nuptials to Kris Humphries on E!. They were literally aired a few weeks ago. She couldn’t try to stick it out a little longer? Apparently, she felt that Humphries was becoming a mooch since the NBA is locked out. He had a $9.6 million contract with the Nets. I don’t think he was exactly hurting for cash. He may be a tool but at least he earned his money. Kim essentially had a casting call to find a guy. Who does that? She wanted Danilo Gallinari first, but Gallo’s too smart for that. Plus, not black.

I’m not sure who the Jabroni really is. Is it Kim or anyone that cares? People that will continue to watch her show are idiots. She has no discernible talent. She’s not even as interesting as Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson. She has a fat ass and she fucked Ray-J on camera. What’s the appeal?

Kim, baby, you have more money than you could ever deserve. I hope you enjoy it. Your show is contrived enough. Did you really have to get married? The thing is you could have kept it going for so much longer. Oh no, Kim and Kris are separated! That’s an episode. Kim and Kris are having dinner to talk things over. That’s an episode.

Your show actually would have been interesting for once. How hard is it to have a sham marriage? Say that you’re doing promotions overseas while Kris is playing exhibition games. Now everyone can really see what a fake you are. Ironic that you’re on a reality show. Can’t wait till you get pregnant. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

WEEK 75 – Deja Vu

Posted: November 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, BOSTON SUCKS, football, Giants, New England Patriots, NFL

Giants 24, Patriots 20

What a great game. Both teams, give yourselves a round of applause. OK Tom Brady, you can leave now. I mean, it looked like the Giants’ hopes were pinned on Eli but I don’t think anyone could have expected him to respond the way he did. Two game-winning touchdowns in the last 3:03! He won the game, and then after Brady went down the field, he won the fucking game again. Did I mention that he did it without his top rusher and receiver? And how about Brandon Jacobs running hard for the first time all season? Looks like he’s going to be a force for the rest of the year.

The entire team just came together. It was such a great win. Jake Ballard is money at tight end. Who needs Kevin Boss? Manningham and Cruz just kept doing their thing, and Ramses Barden had a few nice plays. The offensive line has finally solidified into a competent unit and Eli had plenty of time to throw. The D was also great. The Tuck-Osi-JPP hydra attacked Brady from beginning to end and Wes Welker didn’t do any real damage.

The amazing thing is that it was probably closer than it needed to be. If Aaron Ross doesn’t fumble that punt, who knows if the Pats ever get going. They were playing like garbage up to that point. Of course, Eli’s INT in the end zone was horrible and also gave New England momentum. The problem wasn’t so much the pick, but it was the delay of game beforehand. It seems like half the time the Giants get on the goal line, they get a silly penalty to turn a sure score into a much harder proposition. Whenever they have their opponents on the ropes, they let up just a little bit and let them back in the game. So far it hasn’t hurt them much, but you’re not going to go far in the playoffs that way.

Overall, an awesome win and a great way to start the “hard” part of the schedule.  Luckily, nobody was injured and the team’s only going to get healthier. Brandon Jacobs can finally be a viable part of the offense and give the Giants a much needed extra dimension, and obviously Eli proved that he can win a game anywhere, anytime. Funny that it was Tom Brady who was whining and throwing stuff on the sidelines and Eli flawlessly leading his team to victory. The only way it would have been better was if David Tyree was involved.


“You sit there and you thump your Bible and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16.  Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass.”

At the 1996 King of the Ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin celebrated beating Jake “The Snake” Roberts in the Finals of the tournament by opening a historic can of verbal whoop ass. The debut of Austin 3:16 was only the beginning of the meteoric rise of arguably one of the most popular wrestlers of all-time. Austin’s schtick was never for me, but he could still handle the mike as good as anyone. It’s easy to see why he became such a big star, especially in redneck country.

America’s Next Big Crisis?

Posted: November 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in dinero, Michael Lewis

Moneyball author Michael Lewis wrote a great piece in Vanity Fair about a scary problem in America: the growing inability of municipalities to pay for basic services like firemen, schools, and public works. He examines it at its worse in California, where the people want more and more, except they don’t want to pay for it. While the causes are numerous, the big one is actually the greediness of the public workers, who take all they can in salary, benefits, and pension without regard for the long-term. It’s almost as bad as what people are doing on Wall St. Maybe worse, since you’d expect it out of bankers, not policemen. The result is cities that are bankrupt. It’s only going to get worse. This is a must-read.