Survey Says Chris Paul Is An Idiot

Posted: November 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, game shows, NBA, NBA lockout, New Orleans Hornets, The Feud
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You wouldn’t think twice about this Family Feud matchup between the Paul family and the O’Hara family. That is until Paul family captain, Chris, comes out to start the festivities. Yes, NBA All-Star Chris Paul is spending his lockout time by appearing on the Feud. And I’m sure the producers made the Paul family go through the rigorous screening procedures that all contestants go through as well. When I was a kid, my two dreams were to play in the NBA and appear on a game show. Chris Paul has stolen my dreams. If he ever shows up on Double Dare, I’ll kill him.

Much like his time in New Orleans, Paul was eliminated before winning anything substantial. Come on, Chris! You don’t want anyone to see your wallet? Who do you think we are? Groupies? If you can’t handle the O’Haras, how are you going to handle the pressures of playing in New York?

I’m all for seeing locked out NBA players on game shows. Better than working at a furniture store. Let’s get Queen James on the new edition of Fear Factor. He’d probably start crying if he had to eat a cockroach. Steve Harvey was onto something here. The only problem is you need NBA players to go head-to-head against one another. Can we see what the Pachulia family is up to? We going to Fast Money, Fast Money, FAST MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brian Wilson Should Host College Gameday

Posted: November 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Brian Wilson, college football, College Gameday, MLB, San Francisco Giants
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Giants closer and LSU alum Brian Wilson just kills it here. From his love of cock, to the trumpet playing and bearded tiger head, it doesn’t get any better. He also knows what he’s talking about. Corso better watch his back.

WEEK 9 Picks: Stay In Your Lane

Posted: November 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, football, NFL
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Last week was weird. A lot of games could have gone either way or were skewed by a plethora of defensive and special teams touchdowns. On top of that, the lines are getting better as we know which teams are good and which teams are the Browns. If you guessed right, you may have had a decent week. If you were Keith Stone, you went 3-9. If anybody did great last week, they’re an idiot who had a lucky week. These things have a tendency to straighten themselves out.

If you were doing well before the ridiculousness of WEEK 8, keep doing the same thing. Don’t change your thinking because of one fluky week where certain teams didn’t bother to show up. If you have lucky underwear, keep wearing them. For me, I blame my horrible week on the fact that I let a chick make one of my picks. Sometimes when you get too cocky, you anger the gambling gods. Just remember Judge Karen’s advice.

FALCONS (-6.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Falcons

Slumdeezy: Falcons
Somehow I think the Colts will get a win this season, with or without a return of the better Manning.  BUT I’m tired of wasting picks on them every week for the unlikely bragging rights for when that lightning does strike.

Rory: Falcons
I’m picking against the Colts until they cover a spread.  And even then, I’ll still probably pick against them.

DP Animal: Falcons

Phanatic: Falcons

BUCCANEERS AT SAINTS (-8.5)
Stone: Buccaneers
That spread is bigger than Gabourey Sidibe doing a split.

Slumdeezy: Saints

Rory: Buccaneers
Don’t feel good about this at all.

DP Animal: Buccaneers
While it’s probable that last week’s loss to the Rams was just one of those fluky things that happens in the NFL from time to time, I don’t know that I trust the Saints with that big of a spread, especially since Tampa beat them all of three weeks ago.

Phanatic: Saints
Will get out their frustrations from last week.

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Trailer Park: Summer School

Posted: November 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in Summer School, Trailer Park, videos
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Summer School is one of my favorite movies of all-time. Mark Harmon stars as Freddy Shoop, a slacker of a gym teacher who gets roped into teaching a remedial English summer school class because he’s up for tenure and nobody else wants to. Of course, each of his students has a quirk and eventually he comes to appreciate them. Along the way, the kids learn to believe in themselves but Mr. Shoop learns even more about life, and falls in love with a skinny Kirstie Alley. If you haven’t seen it, add it to the queue. Summer School still holds up.

Ashley Greene: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: November 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in Ashley Greene, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
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Ashley Greene is in one of those movies about zombies or wizards or something. I don’t know, but she has cast a spell on me. I don’t really go much for brunettes, but I’d make an exception for Ash. According to her Wikipedia page (which is 100% true), she moved to L.A. to be a model and then realized she was too short. You have to love somebody for following her dreams even without doing any prior research. It also appears that she was also caught in a scandal when naked pictures of her were leaked onto the Internet. These teen stars grow up so fast nowadays. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Did the Sith Create Anakin Skywalker?

Posted: November 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in NERD ALERT!!!, Star Wars
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NERD ALERT!!!

If you don’t like Star Wars, just stop reading right now. I won’t be offended. OK good, now that all the cool kids have left us, we can talk about important stuff.

However you feel about the Star Wars prequels, they really didn’t bring much to table compared to the original trilogy. Or so we thought. There was an interesting article in the NY Daily News that reveals a new theory about the origin of Anakin Skywalker and the role the prequels played in the whole saga.

Basically, the article says that Anakin’s virgin birth may have been triggered by Darth Plagueis the Wise, who had the ability to manipulate life, and his entire being was a ploy by the Sith to destroy the Jedi. It’s definitely possible and fascinating that George Lucas may have intended it to be the big reveal for the prequels, but it’s a bit unlikely considering that it was never explicitly mentioned. Read the article and decide for yourself. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to look at some boobs and regain my manhood.

Trivia Time: College Football Edition

Posted: November 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Bama, college football, LSU, trivia
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#1 LSU and #2 Alabama are playing the college football game of the year this Saturday. These teams are bitter rivals and a spot in the National Championship Game is basically on the line. Did I mention that Alabama is coached by Nick Saban, who formerly coached LSU to a Title but is now loathed in Baton Rouge over the circumstances of his departure? I know how that feels. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and you get to sleep with your cousin. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

When was the last time the #1 and #2 ranked college football teams played each other in a non-Championship game and who were the teams? (and a hint: it was not Harvard and Yale)

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What Could Have Been

Posted: November 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, Miami Heat, NBA, NBA lockout
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Tonight should have been Opening Night for the Knicks. Their game against the Heat would have been an epic matchup, but it was cancelled as part of the NBA lockout. I’m pissed. Hopefully everybody is pissed. I won’t pretend to be an expert and make suggestions on how to solve all the economic problems the NBA has. I just think the two sides should compromise and come up with a 1- or 2-year bridge agreement while they come up with a permanent solution. Everyone is losing more money by missing games than making a bad deal. For now, all we have is memories from last year. But hey, when they involve Amar’e beasting over Queen James in the clutch, things aren’t so bad (until they cancel the Christmas games).

Will These Sequels Complete Or Ruin My Childhood?

Posted: November 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in Dumb and Dumber, Independence Day, movies
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As a kid growing up, two of my favorite movies were Independence Day and Dumb and Dumber. Now word out of Hollywood is that sequels are greenlit for both of them, with two in the works for ID4. If I was 12, I’d be ecstatic. Now I’m a little concerned that the new movies might tarnish the legacies of the originals. Dumb and Dumber had a horrible prequel but neither Jim Carrey nor Jeff Daniels were involved. The duo is supposed to reprise their roles as Harry and Lloyd with the Farrelly brothers attached to direct. Sounds like a can’t miss. I like it a lot.

The back-to-back Independence Day sequels may have a harder road to travel. For one, Will Smith may not participate in either movie unless Fox gives him his asking price of $50 million. That’s a lot of green but at the same time could you really have an Independence Day 2 without Capt. Stephen Hiller? Secondly, it’s a lot harder to elicit interest for a sci-fi movie that was released 15 years ago as opposed to a comedy. Typically, the two movies shot as one strategy tends to stretch scripts a bit thin and include too much filler. Matrix, anybody? Still, Independence Day is an epic movie and with director Roland Emmerich and producer Dean Devlin back at the helm, I’d give these movies more than a fighting chance. Hey, if Randy Quaid could take down that ship…

Entertainment Weekly

New York Magazine

Even Jim Halpert Doesn’t Respect Chris Bosh

Posted: November 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Chris Bosh, Miami Heat, NBA, The Office
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The Office always does a great job with its Halloween episode. From the montage of Dwight’s violent costumes (Pinhead was my favorite) to Creed going as Osama bin Laden, this year was no exception. However, Thursday’s episode was the best, if only for its shots at Chris Bosh. Darryl, Kevin, and Jim dressed the Heat’s Three Best Friends and the only problem was somebody had to get stuck as Bosh.


If you’re keeping track at home, Chris Bosh signed up for a chance to be part of a Championship team. Now they’re making fun of him in primetime. Hope he’s not too sensitive.

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