This has to be up there with the worst National Anthems of all-time, if only because this lady fucks it up twice. Maybe she’s got the jitters or whatever, but you can’t go out there without practicing the words until you know them inside and out. And then, when she comes back the lyrics written down, YOU CANNOT SLIP ON THE ICE! Yeah, it’s hard to walk on the ice with shoes but if you mess up the Anthem, you better be careful when you’re coming out to do it the second time. She needs to take ice skating lessons from Rocky Balboa.
Classic Video of the Week: Francis Scott Off-Key
Posted: September 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in U!S!A!, videos0
Who Is Managing Queen James?
Posted: September 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, fashion, NBA, Queen James
Queen James knows fashion when he sees it. That’s why he tweeted that he’s in New York for Fashion Week to support his sister, LeBre’sha, who he claims will be the world’s next supermodel. I don’t know but I think I’m in love. Wait a minute. Is that a mustache?
It’s amazing to me that LeBron keeps doing these stupid things when he apparently has a huge team managing his every move. “Hey LeBron, why don’t you tweet out a picture of yourself in a Cover Girl ad? It’ll totally make people forget about the whole Decision thing and it wouldn’t be strange at all!” Seriously, what is the point of this? Is it supposed to be funny? LeBron needs to hit the gym and work on his cross-court moves instead of his cross-dressing moves. He needs to be less Dennis Rodman and more Michael Jordan. In fact, if MJ saw this, he’d probably smash all his golf clubs.
Philly’s Got Talent
Posted: September 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB, Phillies, Philly sucks
“Don’t stop. This is Philly. Put your bats up.”
Young man JGarzzle, also known as Big Philly Fan, is pretty excited about the Phillies, who have the best record in baseball as well as in their franchise’s history. Who wouldn’t? They have four three two dominant pitchers and the tradition of two World Championships over the last 100 years.
What better way to celebrate than making a music video to Jennifer Lopez’s On the Floor? Because really when I think of the Fightin’s, I think of lame dance songs about hooking up with dudes at the club. I also like the fact that JGarzzle made the video despite the fact that it seems that his parents were sleeping in the next room. The whisper is sexy. I haven’t seen this much swag coming out of Philadelphia since Will Smith.
Ryan Callahan was named the 26th captain in Rangers history and it was a well-deserved honor. Cally embodies everything you’d want in a captain. He is a leader off the ice and more importantly leads by example on it. He’ll do whatever it takes to get a win: scour the crease for a rebound, fight an opponent, make a big pass, block a shot, you name it. He’s fearless and that’s exactly what the team needs. And with no disrespect to Jaromir Jagr or Chris Drury, he’s a Ranger through and through. I’m really looking forward to see how the new captain leads the troops when the puck drops on the 2011-12 season in three weeks.
Trivia Time: Michael J. Fox Edition
Posted: September 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in Curb Your Enthusiasm, Michael J. Fox, trivia
It was a big week for Michael J. Fox. First, Nike announced that they created his self-lacing sneakers from Back to the Future Part II, then he absolutely killed it as Larry’s nemesis on the season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Fox really proved that he has a great sense of humor and he can still act, but I would not recommend taking a soda from him. Booting Larry from New York with the help of Mayor Bloomberg was a fitting end to, dare I say, a historic season. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and you can ride in the DeLorean. The answer, as always, is after the jump.
What is Michael J. Fox’s middle name? (and a hint: it is not Jay)
Yesterday was a sad day but today will be better. I didn’t lose anyone on September 11, 2001 so maybe I’m not really qualified to talk about this. All I know is that as a New Yorker, it was terrifying what happened 10 years ago even though I was 50 miles away. I can’t imagine being in the City or knowing somebody that passed away. For a little bit, it didn’t seem like anything would be good again. It was a scary time.
Little by little, you start to heal. I came back into the City. I took the subway. I went to large public events. The City will never be the same, but you have to accept that, move on, and make it better. We had to be nicer to each other. Not just as Americans, but as global citizens. Were were perfect? No way, but better? Yes.
We should never forget the past but we also need to look ahead to the future, and the future is gorgeous. The new World Trade Center is gorgeous. It seemed like it would take 100 years to clean it up but it only took 10. Every time I look downtown and I see the Freedom Tower, it makes me smile. I’m still sad but it’s amazing how far we’ve come since then. We need to keep moving in that direction. There’s going to be bumps in the road, but we owe it to all the people that died to make today a better day. We need to continue to make New York a better place.
WEEK 67 – Scalped
Posted: September 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 Giants, Deadskins, football, Giants, NFL
Redskins 28, Giants 14
This game was a disaster from start to finish but it was still fairly evenly matched. The big difference was Eli’s TAINT. The Skins also got a huge advantage on Antrel Rolle’s questionable unnecessary roughness penalty, and converted a 4th down while the Giants failed on theirs. The injuries killed us, especially Justin Tuck’s. Rex Grossman was able to get tons of time with only JPP coming after him. The offensive line wasn’t great, as could be expected, but they will improve. I would’ve liked to see the ball get thrown downfield more. The few times they did, good things happened. Not even so much long bombs, but more in the 20-30 yard range. The running backs looked fairly solid but I would have liked to see Jacobs more.
Overall, a horrible way to start the season. I’m very discouraged. At the same time, the Giants are good at making adjustments, nobody got injured, and the Rams may be even more banged up. Although I still don’t think the Redskins are very good, it was a division game on the road and those are very hard to win. Remember: the last time the Giants lost to the Skins, they were holding up the Lombardi Trophy two months later.
WEEK 1 Picks: A Fashionable Beginning
Posted: September 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, fashion, football, NFL
The Saints-Packers game was a real barnburner last night. Didn’t catch it. I was at Fashion’s Night Out. It might have been better than Halloween. I know that’s sacrilegious but it’s true. Tell a girl they need to look fashionable and they will dress like a whore. They’re so competitive. It’s like who can dress like the biggest whore in New York. Plus half the chicks were taller than me and still about half my weight. It was a fantastic time. You also can’t underestimate how fun it is to go into a store with a DJ blasting club music. And that, my friends, is my expert analysis of the Saints-Packers game. Onto the WEEK 1 picks!
STEELERS AT RAVENS (-1.5)
Stone: Steelers
Rodave: Steelers
Rory: Steelers
Pittsburgh is known for its gay steel mills. Therefore, they should win this game.
DP Animal: Steelers
I don’t buy the Ravens this year: too old on defense, and Joe Flacco seems just good enough to lose a lot of close games to good teams. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh remains one of the league’s best teams.
Phanatic: Steelers
FALCONS (-2.5) AT BEARS
Stone: Falcons
Rodave: Falcons
Rory: Falcons
Falcons can fly. Bears can’t.
DP Animal: Falcons
Playoff flameout or not, the Falcons were one of the two or three best teams in the league last year, and I don’t expect much to have changed. Matt Ryan is among the best quarterbacks in the league, and the Bears won’t get every lucky break like they did a year ago.
Phanatic: Falcons
Jabroni of the Week: NYC Shopping Tourists
Posted: September 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, tourists
I was just up in Midtown and nothing ever surprises me more than the line outside the Abercrombie & Fitch on 56th St. It’s fucking Abercrombie & Fitch! You can go to one in a mall and it’s completely empty and yet this one is filled more than Sasha Grey’s pussy. I get that clothes are cheaper in America than they are in England or Spain or Brazil or Japan, but who waits on line to get into a clothing store? And who does it when you’re on vacation?
This is New York, the Greatest City in the World. It’s still summer and it’s gorgeous out. There’s literally a million better things to do than buying douchebag hoodies, polos, and jeans. Go to Central Park. Go to a show. Go to the Empire State Building. Just stop snaring up foot traffic. That’s a high volume area. And when you’re waiting on line, stop taking pictures. Nobody wants to see you posing outside of Abercrombie & Fitch. Nobody.
Foreigners, babies, I appreciate you coming to New York. We need your tourism money, but please chill it with the Abercrombie. I know that LFO had a very catchy song that was probably just released in your country, but it’s played out. Do you think you’re too good for Aeropostale or American Eagle? Or maybe can we just get a few Abercrombies in some foreign countries? If you’re coming to America just to do some shopping, you may need to reevaluate things. Or if you really want to get cheap clothes, go where the MKS goes: Canal St. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brothers.
Rainman Suite 
