Loser Dies: 2011 Stanley Cup Finals Preview

Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in BOSTON SUCKS, hockey, Stanley Cup Finals, Stanley Cup Playoffs
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The Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins have each gone almost 40 years without hoisting the Stanley Cup. In Vancouver’s case, the franchise has never won it. Both teams have passionate fans and recent playoff disappointment despite regular season success, and have finally managed to get over the hump to reach the Finals. Unfortunately, only one team will walk away with the Ultimate Prize and all the tail and debauchery you can imagine while the other gets a summer of heartbreak and despair.

The Canucks rode high all season. The Presidents’ Trophy winners have the reigning MVP in Henrik Sedin and a finalist for this year’s award in his twin brother Daniel. These guys have ESP like Bill Cosby in Ghost Dad. How the Bruins defense, led by Zdeno Chara, handles them will play a large role in the outcome of the series. The Canucks also have Ryan Kesler playing at a high level and Roberto Luongo mixes brilliance with incompetence in net. It will be interesting to see how the team handles itself if things don’t go well, considering the magnitude of the games for the city of Vancouver and Canada in general.

Although the Bruins won the Northeast Division, they were overlooked as contenders until recently. Goalie Tim Thomas has played great all year and has the ability to win games by himself. If the Bruins’ power play stays dormant, he may have to. The B’s have overcome adversity all season, recovering from their collapse in last year’s playoffs and winning two Game 7’s. They will not be scared of the Canucks and the most explosive offense in hockey. That does not mean the Bruins can stop them. Tim Thomas is going to have to play like a motherfucker.

Canucks in 5

Man Drops Daughter and More Importantly Foul Ball

Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, the kids
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This is some good parenting right here. I’m glad Dad has his priorities straight and hopefully Lil’ Suzie learns not to ask to be picked up during the game. Gotta make the catch though, bro. That Dodger organization is real family oriented from the fans to the owners, huh?

Classic Video of the Week: Here Comes Willis

Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, NBA, NBA Finals, NBA Playoffs, videos, Willis Reed
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It’s Championship Week, the greatest week of the year. To celebrate, here is the greatest game in NBA Finals history. After pulling a leg muscle in Game 5 of the 1970 NBA Finals against the Los Angeles Lakers and missing the following game, Knicks center Willis Reed returned for Game 7 at the Garden in dramatic fashion. Clyde Frazier added 36 points, 19 assists, and five steals and the Knickerbockers had their first World Title.

Mona Snooki

Posted: June 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in caption, Jersey Shore, Snooki, TV
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Snooki was apparently in a car accident with her police escort in Italy. [insert caption here]

Battle Between Good and Evil: 2011 NBA Finals Predictions

Posted: May 31, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA Finals, NBA Playoffs
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This is bigger than basketball. This is biblical stuff. This is Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII. This is every game you played when you were a kid. Cops and robbers. Good guys and bad guys. A team seeking redemption for five years of failure against a team that came together for all the wrong reasons. Pride and vengeance against glitz and ego. Rory and Roro join me after we nailed both Conference Finals Series. Who ya got?

Roro’s take: My faith has never wavered.  If anything, I was too nice to the opposition.  This series won’t be any different as the Mavs have not faced a defense this good.
Roro’s pick: Heat in 5

Rory’s take: I said the Heat back in September, and even when they were down 1-0 versus the Bulls.  I’ve sided with evil, and I can’t back out now.
Rory’s pick: Heat in 6

Stone’s take: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from 21 years of watching basketball, it’s that a good team can overcome any obstacle. The Heat have two players. I still believe in fairytale endings.
Stone’s pick: Mavericks in 7

Trivia Time: Memorial Day Edition

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in Memorial Day, trivia
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Today is Memorial Day, a day in which we remember those who have lost their lives defending America. It also marks the beginning of summer, baby! That brings us to our trivia question. The prize for getting it right is kissing a sailor. The answer is after the jump.

What was Memorial Day originally called? (and a hint: it is not Canada Day)

Read the rest of this entry »

Million-Dollar Perfection

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB 2K11, video games
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Brian Kingrey, a 25-year-old music teacher from Louisiana, was the winner of MLB 2K11‘s $1 million prize for pitching a perfect game. Amazingly, it was the first baseball video game he’d ever played. Brian’s wife convinced him to go for the prize while they watched a G4 show about the contest. After watching him dominate shooters for years, she figured it would be a piece of cake. It turned out to be worth many pieces of cake as Brian played with every team and studied up on players, techniques, and even the rules of baseball to get ready for the April 1 start date. Using Roy Halladay, he got achieved perfection two hours after the contest began. It was a fairytale story that would only be featured at Comic-Con. And this is why chicks should encourage us to play video games. I wonder if Brian’s wife has a younger sister?

Kotaku

The Hangover: Part II

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in movies, The Hangover: Part II
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It’s not that The Hangover: Part II wasn’t good. It was. I enjoyed it a lot. It was just missing that extra je ne sais quoi of the original. For the most part, sequels are never as good and I think the plan was to make this movie as different as possible while keeping the same premise by setting it in Bangkok. That was the problem.

Vegas was the fourth member of the Wolfpack. Although I’ve never blacked out and married a stripper, it seemed like something that could happen on a wild trip with your buddies. I just can’t see myself ever hanging with a drug-dealing monkey and kidnapping monks, no matter how many roofies or painkillers I take. In a weird way, The Hangover: Part II was too over-the-top although that’s what we loved about the first one. Then, we had a missing tooth; here, it was a missing finger. And there was way waaaaaaaaaay too much penis. In addition, the backstory that was eventually revealed seemed more random than the linear narrative that explained Doug’s disappearance in Part I.

With that said, The Hangover: Part II was still a solid flick. There were a lot of funny moments, however nothing as memorable as Alan’s toast on the roof of Caesar’s Palace or Mike Tyson and his tiger. The movie still didn’t miss a beat and the pace was quick. New characters and plot points were easily incorporated and Mr. Chow’s expanded role was great. But when I look back at The Hangover: Part II, there won’t be one hilarious moment I’ll remember. I wouldn’t mind seeing a third, but it should move back a little into the realm of reality. New York, anyone?

2 out of 4 shots

    

Happy Memorial Day

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in Memorial Day, U!S!A!
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Everyone have a great Memorial Day. Don’t forget we live in the Greatest Country in the World and make sure to thank any servicemen in your life. Now go out there and eat some burgers, drink some beer, and work on your tan. Keep up the good work, America!

Kelly Brook: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: May 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Kelly Brook
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I was getting the newspaper the other day when I noticed a fetching lass on the cover of Esquire. I didn’t recognize her, but it turned out to be British beauty Kelly Brook. I did hours and hours of research, and it turns out her two biggest talents are previously dating Jason Statham and looking hot naked. If she was my daughter, I’d be proud. Luckily, she’s not. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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