Catching Hell

Posted: September 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Catching Hell, MLB, movies, Steve Bartman
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I was disappointed with Catching Hell, the Steve Bartman documentary that aired on ESPN. For one, it didn’t focus exclusively on Bartman and spent a excessive amount of time profiling Bill Buckner. Yes, he and Bartman were both baseball scapegoats but in very different contexts. The movie was long enough as it is. With that said, the coverage surrounding Bartman was fantastic and interesting. Although we still don’t really have a clue what he’s up to, everything from the play to the few days after was really insightful and the new footage from that night is amazing.

Bartman really doesn’t deserve to be in exile for what happened, but I’m also sick of people defending him. “He was just doing what anyone would have done.” No, if you’re a real baseball fan sitting in the first row, you have to be aware of the game action and help your team, whether it’s Game 37 in May or Game 6 of the motherfucking Championship Series. That’s unacceptable as a sports fan. Unacceptable.

Alou certainly would have made the catch. If I’m in that spot, not only am I moving as far away from the ball as possible but I’m keeping all the jabronis around me from touching the ball (and it wasn’t just Bartman going for it). The Cubs were five outs away from the World Series! It amazes me that people would care so much about a stupid ball that they would forget the situation. Now Bartman can’t even use a credit card. The funny thing is that he made such a perfect scapegoat because he was such a nerd with his glasses and turtleneck and made such a lame play at the ball. It was like he had cystic fibrosis or something. If he was some gregarious guy who drunkenly knocked the ball away and laughed about it afterwards, I doubt we’d still remember his name.

Paging Dr. Heimlich

Posted: September 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, BOSTON SUCKS, MLB, Sox
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The Red Sox capped off the greatest collapse in baseball history with an epic ending involving not one, but two games finishing within minutes of each other. Throw in the pretty impressive Phillies-Braves game and you had a pretty insane night of baseball. As for Sox fans, now they can spend October watching the leaves change color in their pretty little pink hats without having to worry about missing a game. How do you lose to the Orioles with your season on the line!?!?!?!?!?!? Nice work in the ninth, Papelbon. And Crawford botching the final play was the icing on the cake of an embarrassing 2011 season. At least he’s getting like $120 million over the next six years. The 1927 Yankees the Red Sox are not.

Trivia Time: MLB Tiebreaker Edition

Posted: September 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB, trivia
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There’s nothing more exciting than a baseball tiebreaker. Well, maybe Game 7 of the World Series. There have been 13 tiebreakers all-time, most recently in 2009. In 1969, Major League Baseball modified its tiebreaking procedures to make the rules in both the American and National Leagues uniform. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and you win the pennant. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

Prior to 1969, what was the difference between the AL and NL tiebreaker? (and a hint: it wasn’t that the NL winner got to lose to the Yankees in the World Series)

Read the rest of this entry »

Glen Sather vs. Brian Cashman: Who Ya Got?

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, BOSTON SUCKS, Brian Cashman, Glen Sather, hockey, MLB, NHL, Philly sucks, Rangers, Who Ya Got?, Yankees
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The past week has been big for New York GM’s. At an announcement in Philadelphia for the upcoming Winter Classic between the Rangers and Flyers, Glen Sather was a one-man show. Doing his best to to channel Gary Peyton and Miss Cleo, he declared that not only would the Blueshirts win the Winter Classic, but would win the Stanley Cup. To rub it in Philly’s fat craw even more, he also threw in that the Yankees would win the World Series. In case you’re keeping track at home, this is the first ever cross-sports Title guarantee. I loved it but next time, how about a little love for the G-Men?


Over in the Bronx, Brian Cashman revealed that although he wined and dined Carl Crawford in the offseason, he had no desire to sign the outfielder. He was just driving his price up for the Red Sox. Cashman said, “Everybody kept writing Crawford, Crawford, Crawford, Crawford. And I was like, ‘I feel like we’ve got Carl Crawford in Brett Gardner, except he costs more than $100 million less.” The Sox eventually signed the .255 hitter for the GDP of a mid-size nation. That’s real moneyball, people. Then, although I cannot confirm this, I like to think he was the one that leaked the news to TMZ that John Lackey was getting a divorce from his cancer-stricken wife. Who does he think he is, Larry David? Lackey received a text message from a member of the media before his start in a losing effort, which doesn’t look like it helped in Boston’s last gasp for the playoffs. It was all Brian Cashman! He has proven how devious he can be!

These are two scheming, genius General Managers, but there’s only one question to ask: Who Ya Got?

Get This Guy A Towel

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in perspiration, soccer
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Walter Pandiani is a soccer player for RCD Espanyol in Spain. During a recent press conference, it looks like they may have turned the spotlights up a little too high. There’s no way this guy would survive New York. Don’t watch the entire video (it’s in Spanish) but keep clicking ahead. It’s fun—like a flip book.

Sign Me Up

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in musical chairs, TV
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The CW is developing a new game show called Extreme Musical Chairs. As you could imagine, the game revolves the age-old premise of musical chairs taking place within an indoor obstacle course. I NEED to be on this show. I am the musical chairs master. I would be the Ken Jennings of Extreme Musical Chairs. People would tune in week after week to see if anyone could unseat Keith Stone (get it, unseat). I know all the tricks. The flat tire, the Cuyahoga choo choo, the invisible hand.  We need more extreme children’s games and get pro athletes to play them. Extreme duck, duck, goose with Usain Bolt and Devin Hester? Sold. Who says TV has run out of good ideas?

Variety

Classic Video of the Week: Dorn

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Major League II, videos
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The baseball playoffs start this week, so what better way to commemorate it than with a clip from the greatest baseball movie of all-time, Major League II? After activating himself from General Manager to utility infielder, Roger Dorn comes to the plate in a pivotal situation in Game 7 of the ALCS against the hated White Sox. What follows is the greatest performance of Corbin Bernsen’s storied career. Cut the olé bullshit, it’s never too early for a Roger Dorn Poster Night.

Even Malcolm Gladwell Thinks Bruce Ratner Is A Scumbag

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Brooklyn, NBA, Nets, New York
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Malcolm Gladwell wrote a piece on Grantland about the scam Bruce Ratner pulled on New York to get his massive development built in Brooklyn under the guise of moving the Nets and helping the community. It’s been under-the-radar for a long time but I think this is the most informative article I’ve read about the subject. Even our own resident Nets fan, Rory, said, “Ratner being an asshole is nothing new.” Make sure to check it out.

Nic Cage Is A Vampire

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in Nic Cage, ridiculous, Twilight Saga
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If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you should always believe everything you read on the Internet. Jack Mord is an antiques dealer who has discovered the secret of Nic Cage’s success: he’s an immortal vampire. Mord’s proof is a photo from the 1800’s that he believes depicts Cage. He says that the actor reinvents himself about every 75 years and might eventually come back as “a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.” Montel Williams, I’m on to you!

Of course Nic Cage is a vampire. How do you think he’s survived all the flops he’s made over the past few years? Mord is now selling the photo on eBay for $1 million, which knowing how obsessed people are with vampires, will probably sell faster than you can say “Team Edward.” Unfortunately for Mord, vampires cannot be photographed. I learned that from an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Also, I don’t think vampires need hair plugs.

ABC News

Bikers Set To Ruin Manhattan

Posted: September 28, 2011 by Keith Stone in bicycles, New York
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I hate bikers. They think they own the streets and never obey traffic rules. Then when they have to stop to let me go, I get a dirty look. Sorry, you’re trying to go through a red light while going the wrong way. I’m walking here, motherfucker. For some reason, New York has an infatuation with bicycles. They redid like every street with bike lanes. That was enough. Now they’ve announced a bike share system that’s going to put an extra 10,000 potential accidents on the road. Luckily, it’s going to be paid for by commercial sponsors but I don’t like this one bit.

The streets are crowded enough. There’s already too many maniacs riding bikes around. They actually had to put monitors on the bridges to make sure bikers and pedestrians obeyed the rules. Now there’s going to be more maniacs, but they’re going to be less experienced maniacs. Bikes are great in some cities but not New York because of the abundance of public transportation. If you’re late, take a taxi. This isn’t Denver.

NY Times

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