With the undermanned Knicks struggling, it sure seems like they could use a guy like Urkel coming off their bench. I’m not sure if he’d be allowed to wear his suspenders without getting a T, but he’d still probably be better than Jeremy Lin. Here, he leads his high school team to a huge fourth quarter comeback, although the blue team needs to learn how to milk the shot clock. Jaleel White has a serious handle, though. I hate it when they can’t actually play basketball in the movies or TV. Urkel would destroy Teen Wolf, although the coaches would be evenly matched.
Archive for the ‘TV’ Category
Throwback: Urkel at the Buzzer
Posted: January 6, 2012 by Keith Stone in TV, videosTags: basketball, Family Matters, Throwback, TV, Urkel, videos
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Snoop Dogg Killed It On The Price Is Right
Posted: January 4, 2012 by Keith Stone in TVTags: Snoop Dogg, The Price Is Right, TV
When I think of daytime TV, there’s nothing that comes to mind more than Snoop Dogg. Snoop made an appearance on The Price Is Right this week to help some lucky contestants come home with a little booty (prizes, not ass). Surprisingly, Snoop-a-Loop was amazing at almost all the games. Who knew he knew how much a roll of paper towels cost? I guess that’s what happens when you’re stoned at 11 in the morning. You watch The Price Is Right. Nobody seemed more excited than this chick to team up with Snoop, who helped her win a car only Bishop Don Magic Juan would drive. Gotta love the dance SWAG after nailing the price of the bird seed. Good thing Bob Barker isn’t still around or he might get neutered.
Who’s the Manley?
Posted: December 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in Leslie David Baker, music, The Office, TV
There’s no question that the man behind Lazy Scranton is behind this. Why else would Michael Scott’s favorite sassy black man, Stanley, be in this wild music video for his new single To Be Simple featuring something called N.U.M.? That’s what I love about actors. You see them on TV or in a movie and you think you totally know them, but they’re actually the exact opposite. Here I thought that Leslie David Baker went home to an episode of Family Matters when he should really be the third guy in LMFAO. The Notorious LDB plays a character with the most monotone voice in the world on TV, so in my book pulling this off makes him the second-greatest actor/singer in history after only one man…
If you were a fan of the brilliant but gone way too soon TV show Party Down, Details has a great oral history from its conception to cancellation. Originally, Paul Rudd was going to be Henry and Steve Carell was in the mix to play Ron. I’m happy the way it turned out. Party Down may have only lasted 20 episodes, but at least it went out on top.
The CW is developing a new game show called Extreme Musical Chairs. As you could imagine, the game revolves the age-old premise of musical chairs taking place within an indoor obstacle course. I NEED to be on this show. I am the musical chairs master. I would be the Ken Jennings of Extreme Musical Chairs. People would tune in week after week to see if anyone could unseat Keith Stone (get it, unseat). I know all the tricks. The flat tire, the Cuyahoga choo choo, the invisible hand. We need more extreme children’s games and get pro athletes to play them. Extreme duck, duck, goose with Usain Bolt and Devin Hester? Sold. Who says TV has run out of good ideas?
Classic Video of the Week: Born To Host
Posted: September 21, 2011 by Keith Stone in Emmys, Jimmy Fallon, TV, videos
Jane Lynch hosted this year’s Emmys. She did a decent job but for my money, nobody comes close to the job that Jimmy Fallon did last year. He started off the show with a bang, with a star-studded rendition of Born To Run. When you have Tina Fey, Joel McHale, and Jon Hamm collaborate on anything, you know it’s going to be good. If only Jimmy’s talk show was this funny.
Are You Kidding Me?
Posted: August 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in Curb Your Enthusiasm, Jersey Shore, MTV, TV
So after all the hype and buildup for the Situation/Ronnie fight and seeing Sitch get taken off a stretcher with all the girls crying, it turns out he banged his own head on the wall? I was expecting a Ronnie one shot, not dancing with the guidos. I seriously thought Ronnie was going to snap the Situation’s neck in half. I hate Sammi Sweetheart and I hate Conservative Ronnie. I can’t believe that MTV actually split the “fight” into two episodes. Bastards.
On the other hand, Larry David knocked it out of the park on Sunday. One-armed man. Racist judge. Two-piece skis. This is the Summer of Larry David. First, he’s chilling with Woody Harrelson at Yanks-Sox and now he’s just dominating New York on Curb. This is like the third episode in a row that I said to myself, “There’s no way this season could get any funnier,” and then the next episode comes around and he proves me wrong. I also think the car periscope is a mighty fine invention.
The Challenge: Rivals FINAL Power Rankings
Posted: August 25, 2011 by Keith Stone in Challenge Week, MTV, power rankings, The Challenge, TV
Wow. That has to go down as the most intense competition in Challenge history. In fact, I’d say that the two-day event has to be up there with any athletic endeavor ever. Ultra-marathon? Fuck that. The Challenge: Rivals takes the cake. In the end, we also learned a valuable life lesson, that a real team is better than just the sum of its parts. Both Johnny/Tyler and Ev/Paula had put aside their past differences and supported each other and it helped them achieve the ultimate prize: $400 and a pair of Beats by Dr. Dre headphones. Just kidding. Now that the show is over, it’s only fair to rank all the teams in descending order. On to the rankings:
Guys
NO CHANCE IN HELL
9. Adam R.
Adam got sent home the first night for punching Ty. How did Ty get Adam riled up? He called him “guy.” I love the drunken erratic behavior but it needs to be a bit more focused next time. Go to counseling, bulk up, and we’ll hopefully see you soon.
8. Abram Pillow
7. Brandon & Ty
Ty is a horrible competitor. He’s weird, he never shuts up, and he hasn’t had sex for years because he doesn’t like the girls in Hollywood. What’s not to like, bro? Despite his imposing stature, he’s also horrible at the physical challenges. Brandon is small but he has a lot of heart and almost single-handedly sent Wes and Kenny home. He could be a force in the future.
6. Davis & Tyrie
This team never had a chance without the support of the rest of the cast and were the first guys team thrown into the Jungle and the first guys team eliminated. You gotta remember that this is more a social game than anything. At least Tyrie got it in. Am I the only one that can’t tell Ty and Tyrie apart? Can the producers stop bringing Ty back for this reason?
SHOULDA, WOULDA, COULDA
5. Kenny & Wes
Despite coming in second place and winning $50,000, these jabronis never stopped arguing and it cost them in the end. Their beef was more important than the competition. They squandered their huge athletic advantage and made boneheaded mistakes all throughout the Finals (putting shards of anything in your sock is not a good idea). Kenny was off all season and Wes never stopped letting him hear it. Too bad he was completely underwhelming in the Finals. Being mean to Cara Maria for no reason didn’t help matters either.
4. Evan & Nehemiah
Another team with chemistry problems. By the end of their stay, they weren’t even talking to each other. It’s a shame they left so early because Nehemiah is a strong competitor and Evan is hilarious. He and Kenny need to host the Jersey Shore after-show or something. Evan also probably would have done great during the eating portion of the Finals.
3. Mike Mike & Roy Lee
The rookies surprised everyone this season by making it to the Finals. Of course, they weren’t as strong as the other teams. That’s why they made it so far. Still, they played the game well and made friends along the way. Mike Mike finally got a girl and gives the show much-needed levity while Roy Lee may have been the most under-the-radar player. Make no mistake, he’s a strong dude and he likes to party. Expect a breakout season next time around.
THE REAL DEAL
2. Adam & CT
The beast CT was the most compelling cast member. He straddled a thin line between maniac and intellectual, and managed to create relationships in the house without getting too deep into alliances, which bogs the game down. He also did not rip anyone’s face off. It’s too bad we didn’t get to see what he could have done in the Finals. He’ll have to work on climbing rope ladders up helicopters. Adam didn’t slow CT down until the final Jungle, but when he did it cost them. Gotta know the rules of the game! At least he got a piece of the lovely Jenn with 2 n’s.
1. Johnny Bananas & Tyler
Johnny finally redeemed himself after being humiliated by CT last season and Tyler won his second Challenge in a row. Most importantly, they put their personal problems behind them and helped each other reach greater heights. They persevered against CT, the mountain, and everyone else. They are true champions.
Sluts
BACK TO THE WHOREHOUSE
7. Jasmine & Jonna
This team was horrible, especially the annoying Jasmine. Although they impressively won a Jungle, they did a horrible job playing the game, complained too much, and Jasmine was out of control with the tantrums. These girls are too tiny to ever put up numbers on The Challenge. They need some performance-enhancing implants. Also, didn’t Jonna used to look a lot cuter?
6. Camila & Theresa
These geniuses thought they could pretend to quit to psych out their opponents in the Jungle. It didn’t work. It’s a good thing they’re both pretty hot and hotheaded.
5. Aneesa & Robin
These girls are normally pretty strong and volunteered to go into the first Jungle to take out Ev and Paula. It didn’t work. Sometimes it pays to vote yourself into an elimination but most of the time it doesn’t.
BITCH GOES DOWN
4. Katelynn & Sarah
I love Sarah. She’s everything you could ask for on The Challenge, but for the life of me why does Katelynn continue to be on these shows when she doesn’t want to do any of the activities? Does she think she’s going to win because everyone is going to quit? Her spot could be given to somebody with a better chance of winning. Like Shauvon.
3. Jenn with 2 n’s & Mandi
This is the team Jasmine and Jonna should strive to become. They’re fun party girls that take their clothes off, hook up, and get into fights, but somehow don’t let it get too out of hand. Of course, they’re not the best at physical competitions. At least Jenn with 2 n’s is feisty. I’m excited to see how Mandi will perform with her new implants.
QUEEN B’S
2. Cara Maria & Laurel
Laurel is a specimen. So is Cara Maria, just in a different way. Laurel remained as bitchy as ever, but she did manage to forge a bond with Cara Maria. These girls came so close to winning but I think Cara Maria would have pulled it out if she had her horse and her Abram.
1. Evelyn & Paula Walnuts
Paula won a Challenge! Paula won a Challenge! It’s like my mom always says, “Eighth time is a charm.” Looks like the veteran of the backstab just needed a partner who was a friend. Who would’ve thought it was Evelyn? Like Johnny and Tyler, these girls used their newfound friendship to their advantage and overcame the mighty Laurel. Ev has always been a great competitor and Paula can finally hold her head high as she heads back to the party circuit and shows Dunbar’s little brother her tits.
Chris Bosh Molested By the Dad From The Wonder Years?
Posted: August 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Chris Bosh, Melo, NBA, TV
Chris Bosh and Carmelo Anthony have signed on to play themselves on an upcoming episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. The episode, appropriately titled “Personal Fouls,” follows a coach that is suspected of doing bad things to former players. That coach will be portrayed by Dan Lauria, Kevin’s dad from The Wonder Years, in a role he was born to play. Not too many details have been released beyond that, but we can assume that the plot will revolve around how Bosh’s failures this season lead him to finally tell the truth about dirty old Coach Arnold. Carmelo, being the knight in shining armor that he is, will most likely be there to support someone in need. NBC isn’t going to be last in the ratings after this!
The Challenge: Rivals Power Rankings WEEK 9
Posted: August 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in MTV, power rankings, The Challenge, TV
“I’m gonna truck through that place like a train.”—CT
Wow, I need a cigarette. This week, we learned that the fun and games have officially ended and redemption is spelled “B-A-N-A-N-A-S.” The T-Bone may have been the most brutal competition in the show’s history. Not only did the players have to go up and down some pretty steep inclines but they also faced the prospect of colliding with the beast train CT at full-speed. And so, the remaining three guys teams and three girls teams headed to Patagonia (“Is that a country or a region?”) for the most intense physical and mental challenge of their life. Who will be the last one left standing? Onto the rankings:
Guys
1. Johnny Bananas & Tyler (Last Week: 4)
Johnny and Tyler epitomize everything that Rivals is all about. They didn’t like or trust each other much to begin with but in order to defeat CT, they needed to have ultimate confidence in one another. In doing so, their bond is stronger than ever and is one of the reasons they have to be considered favorites. They might even love each other now. No homo. Well, Tyler is. And Johnny finally avenged the most embarrassing elimination ever.
What guts by Tyler to get up after being absolutely crushed by CT. I don’t like to overstate things but when he and Adam were both on their final ball and fell on top of each other, it was by far the most dramatic moment in television history. I haven’t had goosebumps like that since Rocky and Apollo were struggling to pull themselves up the ropes at the end of Rocky II.
2. Kenny & Wes (LW: 2)
I don’t get Wes’s beef with Cara Maria. Sure, she’s a little annoying. It doesn’t mean you have to make her cry. How can you say she’s not deep enough when you’re about as deep as a kiddie pool? Just ignore her, Ronald McDonald. It’s more important to focus on getting in the canoe the right way.
3. Mike Mike & Roy Lee (LW: 1)
I like these guys but there’s no way they can win. Is there? It’s not a good sign when your planning for the Finals involves considering walking. I’m going to miss this team for their awkward bro love and Mike Mike’s awesome interviews. Despite the fact that they’re in dead last in the Finals so far, the kid still thinks they’re gonna win. Rookie!
ELIMINATED-Adam & CT
Raise your hand if you saw this one coming. Yeah right. CT looked like a man possessed, like Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman, and the Loch Ness Monster combined being released from their cage. I was seriously concerned he was going to kill somebody even before stepping in the ring with Johnny and Tyler. The real lesson here is never fall in love on The Challenge. Jenn with 2 n’s wasn’t even rooting for Adam and Laurel is perhaps the only reason why the show didn’t have its first decapitation this season.
You would figure that a competition that involved colliding with your opponents at high speeds would favor CT, but alas his entertaining and frightening reign comes to an end. It was refreshing that he was neither intimidated nor conformed to any alliances and hopefully will be back in the future to wreak havoc and rip people’s faces off. To be honest, the most frightened I’ve ever been of him when was he was crying after losing. It’s like Winston Churchill said, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself and CT.”
Adam needs to do some squats at the gym. Gotta get up that hill at the end, bro!
Sluts
1. Evelyn & Paula Walnuts (LW: 2)
These are the only girls with their eyes on the prize. Ev is a veteran while Paula is trying to overcome her previous eight Challenge failures. I still don’t know if they have what it takes to overcome the athleticism of Laurel and Cara Maria.
2. Cara Maria & Laurel (LW: 3)
Laurel is an Amazon and will do fine with or without CT. Plus she cooks a mean breakfast. Cara Maria finally stood up to Wes and hopefully her newfound confidence will help her in the Finals. It’s just a shame she can’t bring her Abram pillow with her.
3. Jenn with 2 n’s and Mandi (LW: 1)
Jenn with 2 n’s earns alliance points for rooting for Johnny and Tyler but none of that matters now, especially since her and Mandi can’t seem to canoe in a straight line. It’s not looking good for these two who already have a significant amount of ground to make up and all Mandi wants to do is scratch her nose. TJ does not like the effort.
Keep reading next week for finale predictions, power rankings, and a running diary.
Rainman Suite 