So You’re Telling Me There’s A Chance!?!?!

Posted: July 20, 2011 by Keith Stone in 6-Month 30000-Hit Extravaganza, Kate Upton, Suite
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The Rainman Suite 6-Month, 30,000-Hit Extravaganza is this Friday. It’s going to have everything. Glitz, glamour, cheap beer. The only thing it’s missing is star power, so I went about to set that straight. I figured if that genius Marine could get Mila Kunis to come to his ball by making a YouTube video, then so could I…with Miss Kate Upton. Kate, baby, I need a foosball partner. Hope to see everyone there. Actually not, then I’ll have Kate all to myself.

Rainman Suite 6-Month, 30,000-Hit Extravaganza
Friday, July 22 6:30-10:30
Three Sheets Saloon
134 W. 3rd St., NY, NY

Taco Bell Value Meal #11: A Baby

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Taco Bell, the kids
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Heidi Knowles just gave birth to baby boy. Unfortunately, she didn’t give birth to octuplets so the best way to monetize the situation was to sell the baby at a Taco Bell in Washington. You can get a lot of crappy stuff at a Taco Bell, but this may beat it all. Knowles was looking for between $500 and $5,000 for the baby, but was willing to throw in a chalupa and medium soda for only 99¢ more. The real problem is that everyone knows that desperate potential mothers eat at Qdoba. Knowles is in jail now and is looking forward to going head-to-head with Casey Anthony for 2011 Worst Mother of the Year.

Seattle Times

Jersey Shore Season 4 Boosts Stock In Stretcher Companies

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Jersey Shore, MTV, TV
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“She wants my sausage, I’m gonna give it to her.”

The Jersey Shore Season 4 trailer was released and I see a lot of potential after the disappointment of Season 3. There seems to be a lot less Ronnie and Sammi and a lot more physical violence. It’s got everything I want. Snooki in a neck brace. DJ Pauly D hooking up with Deena. JWoww’s boobs. The highlight of it all is The Situation’s “fight” with Ronnie. One shot. MTV has a way of editing these things, though. It better not be a lot of Ronnie and Sammi crying the whole time with a sporadic hookup or fight sprinkled in. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy!

AJ Burnett Interrupts Questioning of Rupert Murdoch In Parliament

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in England, Rupert Murdoch
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Rupert Murdoch was being grilled in England today over the phone-hacking scandal that closed famous newspaper News of the World when somebody decided to give him a little pie. See, this is how government is supposed to run. If America was like that, Congress would have figured out the whole debt problem already.

Classic Video of the Week: Jump On It

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, videos, Will Smith
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They don’t make TV shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air anymore. While the Carlton Dance is immortal, the Apache Dance is underrated. When Will and Carlton go to Las Vegas to become men, Carlton becomes addicted to gambling and loses all his money. The only way the boys can afford to make it home is by entering a talent show. Enter Will the Thrill and Boogaloo Shrimp.

Awesome Backwards Penalty Kick Hopefully Does Not Start War

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, soccer
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United Arab Emirates national soccer team member Theyab Awana made an sweet reverse penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon on Sunday. It’s too bad the U.S. Women didn’t try the move out. Sure, it wasn’t sportsmanlike since his team was up 5-2 but Awana probably hooked up with at least 40 virgins after the game. Knowing the way it works out in the Middle East, though, maybe this is the last thing we need. In fact, if I remember my history right, the entire Israeli-Palestinian conflict dates back to a soccer game played in 1948. Horrible effort by the goalie as well. Lieutenant Dan could’ve stopped that shot. When World War III starts, I’m blaming him.

Tropicana Field Is An Embarrassment

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB, Tampa Bay, Tropicana Field
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On top of the fact that Tropicana Field may be the ugliest stadium in professional sports, how stupid is it that there’s a domed stadium in Tampa Bay? St. Petersburg has an average high temperature of 81 degrees. Only an idiot or an elderly person would want to be inside on a beautiful day.

But wait, there’s more. During last night’s Rays-Yanks game, a bolt of lightning (Tampa Bay Lightning, heehee) hit near the Trop and disrupted the power inside the stadium so much so that the game was delayed for 20 minutes. The game is being played fucking inside to avoid problems like this! It’s not the 1800’s! How can a simple storm affect an indoor baseball game in this day in age? This is further proof that there shouldn’t be Major League Baseball in Tampa Bay. Strip clubs, yes. Baseball, no.

NY Daily News

Rainman Suite 6-Month, 30,000-Hit Extravaganza

Posted: July 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in 6-Month 30000-Hit Extravaganza, booze, Suite
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It’s been six months since The Suite launched with a story about Charlie Sheen and Andy Dick at the AVN Awards. Since then, a lot has changed. Well, not much has changed. It’s still a lot of fun to post pictures of hot chicks and make fun of life’s failures (LeBron James). Actually a lot more people come to visit The Suite now. 30,000 in fact. And they all say the same thing, “Keith Stone, I want to party and do bad things with you.” Here’s your chance, sluts.

Rainman Suite is throwing its first party on Friday, July 22 from 6:30-10:30 at the luxurious Three Sheets Saloon (3rd St. btw. 6th Ave. and MacDougal St.) in the Greatest City in the World. I’m buying so stop by and enjoy a beer and play some pong, at least until I run out of money or leave with some FIT girls. I’ll be the drunk guy that looks like a handsome version of Justin Long.  See you there. xoxo

Mike Fetters, Man’s Man

Posted: July 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, food, Man's Man, Mike Fetters, MLB
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Kenny Powers would tell you that it’s hard to move on after you’re done with baseball, but former Major League reliever Mike Fetters found a way to give back to the fans that watched him play. Fetters illegally goes around Miller Park in Milwaukee with a cauldron of cheese and lets fans dunk their food in for only $2. He’ll even add a fried egg for $1. Fetters claims he doesn’t need the money and is only doing it for the love of the game and the fans. Although he’s had some run-ins with security and food inspectors, Fetters enjoys what he’s doing and continues to live the high life. Only in Milwaukee could he get away with something like that. Mike Fetters, you are a Man’s Man.

The Awl

Trivia Time: Women’s World Cup Edition

Posted: July 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in soccer, trivia
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If there’s one thing I hate, it’s hype. Hey, we haven’t thought about swimming for four years but let’s all go crazy for Michael Phelps. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. The Women’s World Cup wasn’t that bad, but it was close. At least, Hope Solo was hot. That brings us to our Question of the Week. Get it right and Abby Wambach won’t head you in the balls. This should be an easy one since everybody is such a Women’s World Cup expert now. The answer, as always, is after the jump.

Who won the 2007 Women’s World Cup? (and a hint: it was not North Korea)

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